Reply #5: well you can read Paul and find out

[grantcart]

Saul was a conspirator who actively worked to facilitate murder, by stoning Christians. His case of hysterical blindness was almost certainly a result of a conversion disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hysterical_blindness that was a result of the tremendous guilt he had to bear for assisting the murders and the hatred that caused murder.

Naturally an intelligent moral person who becomes aware of their own treachery are going to be drawn to a metaphysical framework that is going to emphasis a release from guilt and the forgiveness of Grace. All of Pauls' writing center on the critical point of his life experience, achieving release from his deeply felt guilt and reborn into a life of Grace.

The difference is that Judas probably always saw his own actions as a betrayal and never really believed his justifications. Had he really thought that he was acting in a manner that was good then he probably would have effected a similar physical malady and aggressively sought forgiveness for his actions.