Reply #26: People go through the motions with a lot of things

[Silent3]

When the choice is between going through the motions or opening up an unpleasant can of worms it's often a lot easier to go through the motions for as long as you can. That can't be too surprising, can it?

I suspect a lot of people who attend various churches do so simply because it's habit, it's a comfortable familiar pattern, they like the feeling of social support and community, because telling people they didn't believe anymore would cause a lot of friction and fuss among family and friends, etc. They'll say what they are expected to say, even to family, even to spouses, to fit it.

I'll bet a lot of people take a long time even when it comes to telling themselves that they don't believe any more. I'd guess there's often a slow shift from strong belief to tepid belief, from concrete belief in the specifics of a particular religion to abstract belief in vaguely religious ideas, with a transitional time when you continue to go through the motions of one particular religion because, well, you tell yourself that since you still believe in "something" you might as well stick with one particular take on belief that you're comfortable with, even when it's no longer a close match for what you really believe any more.

Then there are people who may never have believed and all they've ever had is going through the motions because they'd rather go with the flow and not rock the boat. When you consider how often people change religions when they get married (like you said you did) then one has to wonder how strong people's religious beliefs are, at least when it comes to specific doctrinal issues, when picking a religion to match one's new marital situation is done in a way that's a lot like picking curtains to match the sofa.