A thought for any woman who is contemplating getting married.

[jemelanson]

The following was a personal epiphany that I had about 18 months ago. I am sharing it here and I hope that any woman that is contemplating getting married or knows a woman that is contemplating marriage should consider about the marriage ceremony.

My point of view is shaded from the view point of the Church which I was active in up until 1999.

I was laying in ICU following a stroke and not being able to do much except think, I was contemplating the upcoming nuptials of my daughter. I was mentally going through the marriage service when all of my mental red flags and alarms went off and it was all I could do not to scream NO out loud. Mindful that I was laying in an ICU unit and it was the middle of the night I somehow did not think that it was a good idea. I had gotten to the point in the service where the minister asks who gives this woman to be married to this man?

Wrong!!!!!!!

I was not going to give my daughter away. She is NOT a possession and NO ONE holds a title to her.

Her choice I would welcome into our family as I hoped that his family would welcome her into theirs. This was not going to be a change of ownership of her. She is a fully Adult member of the human race and is not a possession to be sold, traded or given away. That hark-ens back to a period when women were possessions, chattel, and the marriage ceremony was a transfer of control of the Woman from her father, uncle, brother or whichever male had control of her to her husband. To a time when women could not own property, if they could find a job could not even receive their own pay, for it was given to her husband, father or which ever male relative had control of her. A woman could not bring suit in a court of law, because she had no standing in the court. She could not give sworn testimony unless her Male keeper vouched for her word. She could not even claim her own children. Education was denied to Women. Woman had NO Rights. A woman without a male protector had no right to any kind of protection. She could not sign a contract, have a bank account or inherit property or money. Women were at the total mercy of a system that was rigged to keep her penniless and without any rights. The ministers preached from the pulpits that a husband should control his wife my any means necessary, however they should not use a rod bigger in diameter than their thumb. A woman was not allowed to refuse sex with her husband, and should she have a miscarriage due to the abuse of her husband that was also her fault. Do we really want to bring any thing that comes from that time forward and lay it upon our daughters or granddaughters or any woman for that matter.

So if you are contemplating marriage or know a woman who is think about this and pass it along.


This question WAS NOT ASKED AT MY DAUGHTERS WEDDING.