Reply #5: I'm working on it and while I'm not out of the woods by far,

[Systematic Chaos]

I still insist that I can pull this off.

I spent my day today watching the first two episodes of "America's Biggest Loser" which I had Jeanette download for me with bit torrent while I was in the hospital. I happened to catch the finale of it completely by accident while flipping through the limited channels they had, and watching that really must have tripped some switch in my head. While watching those shows I did at least 40 to 50 minutes between my recumbent bike and marching in place. Please bear in mind that I couldn't stand for 5 minutes in the shower without so much pain in my legs and back that I thought I was going to end up stuck in the tub, just a few short weeks ago. Today, in addition to all that exercise I also did a sink full of dishes, prepared some stir-fry vegetables and then did those dishes after I ate. My thighs feel like they've been pounded to pulp with a meat tenderizer, but I'm just thrilled to see any sort of progress at all after losing so much mobility and enduring so much pain before this hospital stay.

Another thing I haven't mentioned yet is that my original wound on my foot is really starting to come along. The worst thing I'm dealing with now is the newest ulceration that bloomed on my left shin about a month ago, but even that seems to have hit a brick wall and should begin to mend up soon. The swelling in my legs is all but totally gone now, and that was in spite of spending at least half of each day on my feet or sitting on the edge of my hospital bed with my feet on the floor. I did elevate them when I could, but it's hard to stay motivated to do that when your entire ass is numb from the bed you're in. :)

I can actually plan to move around the apartment a little bit every day now, keeping up with the cleaning our place desperately needs. I felt so down because it was literally impossible for me to sweep or mop our tile floor or even do more than a couple of dishes without wanting to cry from the pain. I tried to keep my chin up and stay active here posting and stuff, but I have to be honest and say that I was ready to throw in the towel and rot in a damn wheelchair. Stick a fork in him, he's done and whatnot. And yes, there were way too many times when I ate the wrong things and too much of them.