Reply #93: My parents and I disagreed on many things

[proud2BlibKansan]

I am old enough to be your mother. I was the oldest of four. We grew up in the 60s. The year you were born, I was 16 and angry that my dad wouldn't let me go to a concert. I longed to go to New York for Woodstock but knew my dad would call the police if I left home for New York.

When I fell in love and wanted to get married, my parents were upset because they thought I was too young.

When I got pregnant with my first child, they were upset because I was still in college.

When my husband and I wanted to buy our first house, my parents were mad because they didn't think we could afford it.

When we wanted to sell that house and move, my parents were convinced it would be too disruptive to our kids to move, and that the new house was more than we could afford.

When I decided that for my 40th birthday I would buy my first brand new car, my parents reminded me that the entire time I was growing up they had only one car and my mother car pooled to work.

We argued about religion a lot. My parents were devout Catholics and I rejected Catholicism as a teenager.

We did agree on politics. My parents were lifelong Democrats. But on just about every other topic, we did not agree.

But we had a great relationship. I learned as an adult to focus on the things we had in common and once my kids were born, we agreed on how much we loved and cherished them. So I avoided the topics we fought about and nurtured a wonderful adult relationship with my parents. My kids had the best grandparents imaginable.

And today, now that my parents are gone, I miss them every single day. No we didn't have a lot in common but they did love me and there is an emptiness in my life that can never be replaced. That second house we bought was right up the street from my parents and we wanted to be closer to them when my dad was battling Parkinsons and my mom was too proud to get help caring for him. My dad has been dead for nearly 8 years and I still cannot drive down than part of my street - I go out of my way to avoid passing that house and its memories. My grief is still that strong even though we had so little in common.

You strike me as a selfish child of baby boomers who is focusing on the things you dislike about your parents rather than what you have in common. You can edit your OP as much as you want, but by lashing out at baby boomers you have attacked a good number of DUers who are, in fact, baby boomers. I can report knowing a lot more crazy rapture waiting Christians in your generation than in mine. But I would never hold that against an entire generation.

So my advice to you is to grow up, find what you have in common with your parents and enjoy having them while you can. You will miss them when they are gone.