Reply #72: Well...

[Chemical Bill]

the point I was trying to make is that damage is done by telling these kids that what happened is shameful. Now I'm not trying to minimize what happens when a father molests his child, but a woman I know who was molested by her father told me that she recognizes how a part of what she felt was happy about "daddy's special attention" (her words). Certainly that's not all she felt, but it was there, and learning that society was so judgmental of her situation was not a help to her. So my point is not that it's ok for adults to prey on children, it's that expressing this kind of negative opinion without any personal involvement on our parts can actually be part of the problem. Let me put it another way: are children who "experienced sexual experimentation" at a young age different from children who "suffered sexual abuse"? I learned in the workshop I took that how we tell children to perceive what has happened has an effect on the damage to their psyche. I was never told that I "suffered sexual abuse". The vast majority of people I know who "experienced sexual experimentation" at a young age are not deeply scarred. And seriously, children are sexual beings from the word go.

Bill