Reply #22: I did that once, sort of, a long time ago ........

[Tangerine LaBamba]

My client was an Army enlisted man who had deserted. Son of a friend. Guy was a beauty - a Nazi, psychopath, and he'd joined the Army "for the discipline." Did I mention anti-Semite?

Anyway, he was in Guyana, working as - yes, of course - a snake trader. He wanted to come home, but he was afraid the MPs would shoot him if he tried. I went down and got him, brought him back with a special passport (this was a long time ago - mid-seventies), and hid him out in an empty house that a realtor friend of took off the Multiple Listings for a while.

I had to turn him in, but if I took him to an Army base, he'd be slapped right into the brig. Then I figured out where I could deposit this head case while I prepared for his inevitable court martial. A very safe and legitimate Army base.

Walter Reed Medical Center. Yes, it's legally an Army base.



I turned him in to a shrink - a major - on the Psychiatric floor. From then on, I just set out to compile his psychiatric history - it was extensive. He really was nuts.

Ultimately, when I was conferring with the JAG officer who was going to be prosecuting this court martial, I showed him my case, which said that all the psychological testing the Army did of its enlistees couldn't screen out someone THIS crazy?

Can you say "military malpractice?" I asked him, a phrase I'd coined and really loved.

Can you say "Washington Post investigative reporter?" I asked him (this was just after Watergate.)

My client got an honorable discharge, moved to Florida, opened a tile business, and married a Jewish girl.

I got a big check and his mother's eternal thanks.

I cashed the check and never heard anything else ...................