Reply #129: Not exactly

[noamnety]

The edit, I agree on.

The second point you made, about assumptions, relates to how we are socialized within this culture - for men to be dominant, women to be submissive.

I'm not saying he HAS fallen into that gender dynamic. I'm suggesting that he should recognize he is dangerously close to it, and saying that as a socialized pattern, it's often automatic for those of us who haven't examined our own roles in perpetuating those dynamics, and suggesting that the pattern itself is destructive and should be avoided. Consider it a cautionary tale, rather than an assumption about his existing relationship.

I'm not sure if I just wasn't clear on that, or there's a part of it you disagree with.

1) In our culture, we are socialized to accept men as dominant, women as submissive
2) This is harmful to women
3) We should avoid behaving in stereotypical ways that harm women