Reply #241: I've some experience with having my kids taken from me.....

[axollot]

and it's a gut wrenching experience where you MUST prove you are innocent. The nuts and bolts of the situation in FL during that time was any allegation made - kids taken and you proved through a series of hoops that your a good parent. What I had done, and I know it's selfish but I was desperate - after the car accident that disabled me and going through pain mngmnt I was going weeks at a time with a migraine from the injections done in my neck. I was told this is the best it would get. In desperation, I ask my sister to pick up the kids for the night. Once they left I tried to kill myself. From that alone, and my sister being a childless bitch thought I wasn't able to raise the kids. Did I need help? YES. But help wasn't offered - they destroyed my eldest son through systematic abuse - MY OWN SISTER (NO I do not talk to her anymore) abused my eldest till he felt worthless. The only reason he never complained to anyone was because he didn't want his little brother, who was not being abused being sent to a foster home, and them being separated.

So I know the pain of having your children taken from you. My eldest is now 18 and doesn't live at home, but my 14yr old son is and A/B student, drug free and very normal. My 4 year old was NEVER part of the BS we went through. I fought back and won (also fired the doctor that was giving me the migraines and now, with proper pain medications and other meds I'm functional - even if I can no longer work but I'm without the need for anti-depressants).

Like I said, I believe, that most of the younger children can go back to their mothers. *under supervision* but regardless of the damage by the compound - the damage it can cause young children to be taken from their mother is something you can never take back.

I'm not condoning the behaviour done at the compound but do believe there are still good mothers who themselves were abused. It's going to take a lot of counseling and other hands on help from the community and government agencies to allow them to have a normal life.

Point is, no matter what happened at the compound - the pain of having your kids taken from you is as close as you can get to them dieing. At least with my sister, I spent all holidays, family dinners, birthdays, visits etc with them - that was why my eldest didn't tell about how he was being abused. He didn't want me to worry and to be removed to a place where he would only see me 2 times a month, for an hour. So he put up with the abuse silently. I hate my sister for what she did to me and to my kids. And I do take full responsibility for my actions and did the case plan given to me by the DCF and the court. Sometimes, it's a disgrace that Family Court is closed.

Cheers
Sandy