Reply #35: Sounds familiar.

[leftyclimber]

My advisor is rather confused. He vacillates between (a) I'm his personal secretary, (b) I can cover all the things he doesn't want to do, and (c) I should be molded into a girl version of him even though he's known from day 1 I am there because of expertise he has that doesn't follow the research fad he's decided to chase in the last year (I'm in year 4 and damn near done). IOW I'm still interested in the research area he was in when I applied to the program rather than the shiny thing he's decided to chase as of about last August.

He's also trying to culture-fy me, as I am not a child of privilege and he feels the need to "fix" my backwards hick-ness. He's very condescending and paternalistic, and he has a great reputation in the field, although how I am not sure at all.

And he doesn't understand why I don't find any of these three options exciting, especially when the guys are encouraged to chase whatever research leads make their little hearts go pitter-pat. There's this weird assumption that I'm some sort of stupid, empty vessel that needs to be filled with his Manly Wisdom, unlike the guys, who are all perceived as equals.

It makes me resentful and angry. Surprise, surprise. At this point I'm about ready to finish my degree and take a few steps down on the pay scale and just teach so I don't have to fool with his research agenda crap any longer. Just like all the other women in my field who get their degrees and don't go into research -- the few I mentioned before are the ones who do research and get published. (I should probably add that this dude votes D but doesn't think anyone who isn't among the socioeconomic elite is a human being. :banghead:)

I know that getting a Ph.D. is more of a hazing ritual than a test of your knowledge. I'm just fed up with getting hazed.

I've never really talked about how upset I am with this treatment before. I'm glad I have somewhere I can get it off my chest.