Reply #58: This is such a tough question, especially for women.

[Lyric]

One on hand, if we say "No", we're saying that even married people who agree BEFOREHAND to get drunk and mess around are raping each other...and that's obviously not the case.

But if we say "Yes", we're denying the fact that you CAN be too drunk to consent, especially when the sex is with someone who's not committed to you in a relationship.

This is one of those areas where there are lots of shades of gray. I would say that, if it's your spouse/fiancee/longterm SO, and he/she is still coherent enough to be fully awake and aware of where you are and what you're doing, you're probably okay ONLY if said spouse is actively participating and isn't just lying there wasted. But if it's some girl or guy that you met at a party or in a bar, even if they still seem relatively coherent, even if they're crawling all over you, you should assume that they're too drunk to consent. Why? Because if you choose otherwise and they disagree the next morning, you could find yourself on the scary side of a court trial, and worse--you might have to face the horrible fact that you did, indeed, rape someone. That's gotta be a nightmare to live with if you have any sort of conscience at all.

Sex, no matter how hot the person might be, is NOT worth that.