Texas Baptists pray for 'longer arms'

[Aunt Anti-bush]

http://www.baptiststandard.com/postnuke/index.php?module=htmlpages&func=display&pid=2577

SAN ANTONIO--A whirlwind of God-does-it-again stories, vivid documentation of the darkest spiritual and physical needs within reaching distance of Texans, straight-talking Scriptures that reveal God's redemptive heart, heart-felt music about grace and salvation--and even a finishing flourish of confetti--boiled down to a five-word prayer.

"God, give us longer arms," said Baptist General Convention of Texas Executive Director Charles Wade.

(snip)

(These people scare me...:scared:)
Edited to add the link.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

1. Tomorrow they will awaken as monkeys.

[Liberal Veteran]

4. And that would be different from today, how?

}(

[tavalon]

32. LOL

[DS1]

2. Those Tuesday Night Slapping Competitions are really serious now.

I hear they used to be, at one point, fun. Then Billy "Stretch" McFickle raised the level of intensity to new heights, cementing his place in history when he slapped the Preacher, his wife, and the snake-charmer in one sweep.

[Bluzmann57]

3. Longer arms? You mean like monkey arms?

After all, didn't man evolve from monkeys? I assume that must be what they are talking about. Right? Or are they just flat out insane?. Methinks that the latter may be true.

[Warpy]

6. No, longer arms to reach more pockets to pick

[TahitiNut]

24. I guess they want to fit into their strait-jackets better.

:shrug:

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

5. And tomorrow they will pray: God, can we have our old arms back?"

[Aunt Anti-bush]

7. I love you guys at DU!

I post something about these whack-jobs that seriously frightens me and you guys have me laughing in a matter of minutes. I needed that. Thanks.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

12. I'm in Alabama and surrounded by luddites and ilk like the "people"

in the original post.

The only thing that happens when you don't laugh at them is you get a headache.

:toast:

[FuzzySlippers]

17. Poor Tom.

I'm going to send you a big ole bottle of Tylenol.:)

[Aunt Anti-bush]

35. Don't feel so bad Tom.

I'm in the BLUE state of PA and I'm surrounded by them here.

[otohara]

15. They're Going To Punish Us For Laughing

for the next 4 years and beyond.

It's already started, last week with Alan Simpson going all Zell on Bill Maher. Zell Miller calling Mo Dowd a NY hussie, columns from wingnuts calling out all liberals - especially Michael Moore. His name is popping up all over the place as the "leader" of godless liberals.

You know what? I don't care, this is stuff you can't make up. We might as well try to enjoy the ride - not laughing would be hard to do.

[Aunt Anti-bush]

16. I don't care either.

Besides, if I don't laugh about them, I'll cry.

[colonel odis]

34. if they want to call us out, let's go get 'em.

nothing they need so much as a good slapping across the face.

[WebeBlue]

21. Cracking me up too, haven't laughed in a week. Thanks

[Aunt Anti-bush]

36. Welcome to DU!

:)

[aquart]

8. Like great apes?

[VegasWolf]

9. Their knuckles are already dragging on the floor. n/t

[bemildred]

10. Pray for a working brain.

There was a time when Amiericans were proud of being independent
and problem solvers. Now they are proud of being gullible sheep.

[VegasWolf]

11. They should pray for longer nose hair. n/t

[DuaneBidoux]

13. Skip the arms...give them some brains.

[flordehinojos]

14. O, Dear God, please keep Charles Wade's and the Baptis General Convention

of Texas' arms FAR AWAY FROM ME, FROM THOSE WHOM I LOVE, FROM THOSE WHO LONG FOR A PEACEFUL LIFE and show this meddler in people's lives that change and reformation begin within the boundaries of his own self!

[givemebackmycountry]

18. Sounds reasonable to me......

Longer arms mean it will be easier for said Texan Baptists to allow their knuckles to drag on the ground. Knuckle-draggers if you will.

Love them church goin' people!

[rainbow4321]

19. Even scarier...the state picks/chooses religions

At one point they tried to deny a local UU church tax exempt status..nuthin' like picking and choosing what religions are acceptable to the STATE. Being a Texan UU myself, this makes me ashamed even more of this State.

The Comptroller's office of the state of Texas has reversed a September, 2003, ruling that denied tax exempt status to the Denison, TX (Red River) UU church.

At the time, the Comptroller of Public Accounts for the state, Carole Keeton Strayhorn, determined that the church was not eligible for exemption from taxes, citing her finding that the congregation "does not have one system of belief."
In his May 24 letter to congregational president Dan Althoff, Jesse Ancira Jr., General Counsel for the Tax Policy Division of the State of Texas stated, "After reviewing the submitted application, file material, as well as correspondence between yourself and staff from our Tax Policy Division, it is my opinion that the Red River Unitarian Universalist Church is an organization created for religious purposes and should be granted the requested tax exemption."



:puke:

[BiggJawn]

20. What, they want goose guns instead of sawed-offs?

Guess they figured you can't hit at a distance with short arms.

(They can't hit anyway with THEIR "short arms"...)

[Vogon_Glory]

22. These People Have Linked Arms With Gee Dubya

These Baptists have linked arms with Gee Dubya. Their sect is now associated with the Boosh regime's callousness toward the sick, the poor, and minorities. If they were looking for converts among the downtrodden and hopeless, they've shot themselves in their feet with dum-dums.

[Carolab]

28. No, no

Jesus will save them! That's what all the faith-based charities are for, doncha know?

[tomreedtoon]

23. You know what longer arms mean...

...bigger guns!

[vetwife]

25. I woke my husband up laughing so hard !

They really really do believe Monkey boy is the Messiah. They want his image. ROFL !

[Comadreja]

26. As in the LONG arm of the law

So they can reach right over the Wall of Separation.

[vetwife]

27. Here you go Baptist Long arms..here is your image

[George_S]

29. long arm of justice

And so Mussolini came to the reluctant conclusion that the "jig was up"; he could see the shadow of the long arm of justice.

But he and his Fascist gang will be brought to book, and punished for their crimes against humanity. No criminal will be allowed to escape by the expedient of "resignation. "

So our terms to Italy are still the same as our terms to Germany and Japan --"unconditional surrender."

We will have no truck with Fascism in any way, in any shape or manner. We will permit no vestige of Fascism to remain.

Franklin D. Roosevelt Speeches

Fireside Chat 25 (July 28, 1943)

http://millercenter.virginia.edu/scripps/diglibrary/prezspeeches/roosevelt/fdr_1943_0728.html

[Judi Lynn]

30. These people are so deluded. Surely they can't be this stupid.

From the article:

In Moldova, the poorest of the former Soviet republics, scores of young girls who likely would have wound up as prostitutes and scores of young men who likely would have wound up in prison are escaping that fate, "because of churches like Kingwood Baptist Church in Houston and Christian Emergency Relief International," a program of Baptist Child & Family Services, said Marina Florio--herself a native of Moldova.
(snip/...)

A little reading, and getting out some would do wonders for them.

They need really long arms to aid them in all that frenzied patting themselves on the back. They scrounge in their wallets for tithe on Sundays, give to missionary funds, and imagine they have saved the world. Well, now. They fight like the devil if they suspect the "gummint" just might take some of their taxes and gib it to poor people who are in dire straights, rather than spending it on bombs, and Halliburton, etc.

[Atillason]

31. why bother

How about we just forget the Alamo and let Mexico take back what's rightly theirs?

[bitchkitty]

33. Longer arms?

Those idiots should pray for opposable thumbs.