AN OPEN LETTER TO EVANGELICALS ABOUT THE MIDTERMS, FROM A NEW YORK LIBERAL JEW

[Don Davis]

Editor’s Note: Recently, the Rev. Jerry Falwell sent out an email to Christian evangelicals, urging them to support GOP candidates in the upcoming midterms. For a “fair and balanced” response, we here at The Satirical Political Report believe that those good Christians are entitled to hear both sides of the story, and should consider other options, such as sitting this one out as a protest vote. Here then is our case to the faithful:

Alright, you marching-backward Christian soldiers. So you’re still hung up on the notion that we killed your Lord Savior (never mind that he was a socialist Jewish Rabbi). But the Chosen People are willing to get past 2000 years of persecution at your hands, so let’s it call it even and move on — (no, not MoveOn.org). After all, Clemens pitched for the Yankees, so anything is possible.

Listen, I know you guys are prepared to turn out in huge numbers next week to back your boy Bush and the GOP Congress. But maybe, just maybe, you should reconsider that rash decision, and just sit this one out.

Let’s take a minute to look at the record, shall we:

What has Bush and his party really done for you on the issues near and dear to your hearts. Take gay marriage. Bush may talk a good game about marriage being between a man and a woman, but I don’t exactly see him showing up at gay weddings like Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate, shaking the glass with arms spread like Christ, and screaming for the ceremony to stop.

And when was the last time you saw Dubya actually wielding a cross in defense of his principles? Hoffman did it, and he’s a Jew.

Moreover, if you check the internets and the googles, you’ll find out that Bush actually “gave Ken Mehlman away” at a lavish ceremony in some log cabin at Campy David.

And what about abortion? — again he talks the talk, but where’s the walk? When you guys are standing up all night outside the abortion clinic, trying to intimidate some poor teenage girl who was raped by her drunken stepfather, where was Bush? Probably watching football in his warm footie pajamas with the Diebold logo, eatin’ pretzels, and falling asleep by 9:30 p.m.

CONTINUE READING at: http://satiricalpolitical.com/?p=385

[tsuki]

1. First--

Foulwell is not an evangelical. He is a Fundamentalist, an old-fashioned Old Testament Christian.