Straight and In the Closet on Valentine's Day
By Julie Enszer, AlterNet. Posted February 14, 2007.
One woman challenges readers to go the whole day without revealing the gender of their sweetie. I tell people that I am a lesbian regularly. In the gay and lesbian communities, we call that "coming out." Sometimes coming out is overt; I say, "I'm a lesbian." Sometimes, it is subtle; I refer to my partner as my "wife" or I mention that I am vacationing with my partner and specify her sex with the pronoun, "her." When I do this, I sometimes still get raised eyebrows or double-takes. I'm fine with that. I appreciate the opportunity to be visible to people who might not know that they know and interact with a lesbian on a regular basis.
I'm confounded, though, when people ask me why I need to tell people that I am a lesbian or that my partner is a woman. Here is the truth: I don't need to tell people that I'm gay. I never plan or want to tell people that I'm a lesbian. It just comes up in daily conversation.
Consider this: I'm at the grocery store checking out and the cashier says, "Oh, yum, you're making greens!" I, equally chatty, reply, "Actually, I'm not going to make them, but my wife will." She says, without pause, "Well, I'm sure they will be delicious."
Or this: I'm talking with someone at work about the holidays and how happy I am to just have a quiet holiday alone with my partner. In the process of talking about my partner, the work colleague asks, "What does your husband do?" I say, "She's a lawyer." The colleagues pauses, very briefly, but then continues the conversation. ......(more)
The rest of the piece is at:
http://www.alternet.org/sex/47666/ 
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