I'm just missayin'
by Ed Naha | March 29, 2008
Man, did I have a tough morning. I went outside to get the newspaper and, from out of nowhere, seven samurai, Bushido blades shimmering, attacked. Pulling an AK-47 out of my bathrobe I mowed them down. Sensing more danger, I whirled as the legendary Golden Gorilla of Oingo-Boingo swung down from a tree, fangs bared. I dispatched it with the grenade I carry in my skivvies for just such an occasion. Grabbing the newspaper, I spotted terrorist leader Ali-Ali Oxenfree closing in for the kill. Unsheathing my scimitar, I beheaded him near the petunias. I then, made it back into the house, discovering D.B. Cooper, alive and well, en route.
What? You say you have video of me just scratching my butt and watching "The Today Show?" Uh, I misspoke. I misremembered. I was tired. I slept on my leg funny. Hey, I'm only human.
Welcome to campaign '08, folks, where Clinton, McCain and Obama are running neck and neck with Paul Bunyan, Pecos Bill and Sasquatch when it comes to tall tales.
Full disclosure. I'm a life-long Democrat and I would vote for a spatula with the letter "D" behind it this fall rather than give another Republican a chance to further decimate this nation. Even for me, though, this year is epic in terms of slapstick.
While all political campaigns have their share of yarn-spinning, Hillary Clinton's '08 campaign is a beaut. I mean, this woman could supply the entire nation with sweaters single-handedly!
The very premise of her campaign would make Rod Serling salute. 35 years of experience! (?) In her own words: "I was usually the first person Bill would talk to about anything. It was a factor of both proximity and relationship." This explanation prompted Keith Olbermann to note: "By which logic Laura Bush should likewise be on the ballot in November - perhaps on a joint ticket with her mother-in-law."
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http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/13759