Republichol: For The Change You Deserve

[babylonsister]

Republichol: For The Change You Deserve
Filed under: Election, General, Propaganda — Mark @ 4:50 pm


The more things change…..

In an increasingly complex world, many people find it difficult to cope with the stresses of day to day life. The strain of caring for a family, paying the mortgage, job insecurity, and terrorists lurking at the Dairy Queen, can result in crushing anxiety and fear. But now, from the makers of The War in Iraq™ and Katrina Neglect™ comes a breakthrough in the treatment of depression caused by incompetent and dishonest national leadership. Now there is an alternative to the endless years of suffering brought on by deficient representation.


After extensive research and focus grouping, the Republican National Committee is proud to introduce Republichol™ for the treatment of Latent Impotent Electoral Syndrome (LIES). Republichol™ is specially formulated to deceive the patient into believing that the utterly discredited Republican Party is actually pursuing an agenda of change. American voters can now enjoy the relief and satisfaction that comes from masking reality with comforting platitudes.

If there is a defining theme for 21st century politics, it is “Change.” Every actor on the political stage has extolled its virtues. Barack Obama promises “Change you can believe in.” Hillary Clinton touts her record of “35 years of change.” Even George Bush stakes out this territory:

“In 2000, I said, ‘Vote for me, I’m an agent of change.’ In 2004, I said, ‘I’m not interested in change. I want to continue as President.’ Every candidate has got to say ‘change.’ That’s what the American people expect.”

In his own, nearly incomprehensible way, Bush admits that he wasn’t interested in change even as he asserts that every candidate has to embrace it. His lack of comprehension is a hallmark of the party he leads. This is why House minority leader, John Boehner, personally developed the Republichol™ campaign and it’s slogan “The Change You Deserve.” The slogan was carefully composed to avoid the promise of change that you need, or change that will actually be beneficial. By focusing on change that you deserve, Republichol’s™ patented time-release formula distributes any change on the basis of personalized determinations of merit. For instance:

* Oil companies deserve control over protected off-shore and wilderness areas.
* Telecom companies deserve retroactive immunity for crimes against innocent customers.
* Defense contractors deserve international hostilities that create demand for their products.
* The media deserve military analysts who are secretly provided and coached by the Pentagon.
* Health insurers and drug manufactures deserve freedom from regulations that inhibit their ability to gouge patients.
* Corporations deserve to consolidate into unregulated monopolies.
* The top 1% of American income earners deserve more tax relief.

And…..

* American workers deserve to have their jobs outsourced to India and China.
* Iraqi civilians deserve to be killed in the tens of thousands.
* Veterans deserve reduced benefits and substandard treatment for service related injuries.
* Women deserve prosecution for exercising choice with regard to family planning.
* Children deserve limited access to, and lower standards for, education.
* Voters deserve to be disenfranchised by special interests, discrimination, and insecure voting technology.
* Middle class households deserve to pay more in taxes, as a percentage of income, than the wealthy.
* Citizens of the world deserve widespread climate catastrophes brought on by global warming.

more...

http://www.newscorpse.com/ncWP/

[C_U_L8R]

1. Hey they stole Viagra's tagline

or was it for Depends?
Oh well, same target market.

[babylonsister]

2. Worse than that! That IS their new slogan even though it was 'borrowed':

:evilgrin:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/05/14/AR2008051403186.html?hpid=opinionsbox1

Agitated? Irritable? Hostile? Aggressive? Impulsive? Restless?

snip//

House Republicans may be heading off a cliff in November, but give them credit for perseverance. Even after the new slogan they floated -- "The Change You Deserve" -- was discovered to be trademarked ad copy for the antidepressant drug Effexor, GOP leaders decided to go with the rollout anyway.

"The Republican agenda, 'The Change You Deserve,' is directed at America's families," Rep. Kay Granger (R-Tex.) announced at a televised news conference with House Republican leaders yesterday morning. "And you may be a little surprised at this agenda."

Why, yes, we are. And Democrats are manic over the medicinal mantra.

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) called reporters into his office. "Democrats, not drugs, is what the American people need," he said. He flashed the Effexor side effects on a large flat-screen television. "Nausea, up to 58 percent," Hoyer said. "Actually it's higher than that for Republicans."