There's A Stynk

[Lautremont]

Thought this was interesting:


There’s a Stynk

by Howard Bülwarþð
December 1, 2008



There’s a Stynk.

How do I know? We feel it through the corridors of power. It leaks under the doors and beneath the high sash windows. It flies in the face of common morality, choking the windpipes and passages of the average hardworking America. It creeps about within the Beltway (so-called!) of Washington DC. It hovers in the air above Press Secretary Dana Perino, and it festers there.

There’s a Stynk.

It has wafted up and down Wall Street and now it wafts across Main Street. It wafts into the homes of Mr. and Mrs. America – you and your family. It travels through the malls where we spend all our time and money – the malls that are a beloved part of American culture. It flies about like a shopping bag in an updraft, until it settles over the heads of your children.

There’s a Stynk.

Yes, there’s a stynk. And it means America is rotton to the core with this terrible stynk. We, as Americans, love malls, and we love what malls can bring to us. Safe shopping, where the winds and rains do not buffet us and impede our every move. This is something the merchants who insist on setting up shop in down-town areas where the buildings are old and drug addicts prowl the streets. You talk about a stynk!

In the mall, where true Americans shop, the halls are clean. Goods are visible, and there is a sense of bond and community, and of purpose. With the economy as it is, malls are ever more important to Mr. and Mrs. America. We can eat there, void our bladders and bowels, exercise by organized walk, and not least do our shopping. After all, that is what a mall is for!

We know that, if malls did not exist, it would be necessary to invent them. They represent perhaps the best and only logical endpoint to the capitalistic system our Founding Fathers dreamed up so long ago. In their fondest and most prescient imaginings, they saw the mall. And within, benches are provided for seating. Music plays, and the children laugh and play. It is like a little town, the way little towns once were and might be again – if there were not a stynk.

Yes, I’ll say it one more time: there’s a stynk. And as it emanates from the core areas and inner cities across America, it threatens that singular avatar of true American life – the mall.

[undergroundpanther]

1. Good article,KnR

Also if it is a *strip mall* we are speaking of,instead of a stynk it would be the reek of the skyanks moving around the roof supporting poles in front of the stores there?

[Lautremont]

2. I get the sense his admiration is reserved for large indoor malls.