Texas' President-Elect Chuck Norris is a Tool of the Radical Right

[Joanne98]

A BUZZFLASH NEWS ANALYSIS
by Meg White

The last thing I heard about '80s action hero Chuck Norris beyond his illustrious film career was a couple of years ago when I was introduced to the online irony factory called ChuckNorrisFacts.com. For a while there, all the cool kids were spewing hilarious "truisms" about Norris' supposed supernatural abilities.

Here are some of my favorites:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
You may not (want to) believe me, but there are hundreds more. I guess I should have been paying attention to the items on the Chuck Norris favorites list, which the purveyor of the site claims were "picked by the man himself." The last one on that list?

You can even get it on a T-shirt. A T-shirt that just might become the uniform of the revolution.

Much like ChuckNorrisFacts.com makes dough off of Chuck Norris' retro popularity, the right wing is learning how to cash in politically on the martial arts actor turned conservative puppet.

It was fine for awhile. Until they started talking about armed insurrection. Who else could possibly be responsible for taking this several steps too far but the craziest righty on television, Glenn Beck. Beck had Norris on his show last week to promote Norris' new book and Beck's new political army.

Norris described the exchange on his post-interview column at -- where else -- World Net Daily:

"If this country starts to spiral out of control... Americans won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up." Then Glenn asked me and his listening audience, "And where's that going to come from?" He answered his own question, "Texas, it's going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that Chuck?" I replied, "Oh yeah!" Definitely.

Chuck then proclaims he's going to run for the presidency of Texas, which would be funny if he weren't serious. No, wait. It still is kind of funny. Honestly, if Chuck Norris, or anyone else for than matter, really wants to lead a peaceful secession movement in Texas, I say let 'em. That state has been nothing but problems since the beginning.

Much like the ads for Jerome Corsi's Red Alert and this amazing patch that magically sucks toxins out of your skin while you sleep that flank his column, Norris is a panacea that helps sooth the deep-seated fears the country has about this frightful social and economic situation we're in. There are many people in this country who will never be satisfied when their nation is not being run by a majority of conservatives in each branch of the government. And if joining the Chuck Norris fan club makes them feel like citizens making a difference, fine with me.

But this is much scarier than any fan club. Norris ends his column encouraging readers to get together with other conservative "cell groups" (not community organizations, cell groups) to watch Beck's live telecast on Friday the 13th. Notice his specific mention of people with guns to be in attendance (emphasis mine).

Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"

The telecast is supposedly to launch the movement Beck is calling "We Surround Them."

Beck lists nine principles guiding his new movement on his Web site. The priniciples contain the usual right-wing "government ain't the boss of me," pro-Christianity propaganda. My favorite, though, marks a turnaround for the hardcore right. After years of conservatives screaming that those who don't support the president are un-American and want our troops to die terrible deaths, Beck comes out with principle number eight:

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http://www.buzzflash.com/articles/analysis/661

[Joanne98]

1. Put “Find Chuck Norris” in Google and hit I'm feeling lucky.

[sledgehammer]

9. I had to bite...LOL!!! n/t

[texastoast]

2. That's it, sonofabitch

Moving to the Carribean.

God and good luck bless Texas. I'll miss you, old sister, if this shit goes down.



:rofl:

[BirminghamExaminer]

3. Well he's a tool alright

[Optical.Catalyst]

4. Chuck Norris has a new right wing book? Chuck Norris making outrageous comments on Television?

This is the Modus Operandi of Reich Wing authors. Ann Coulter has taken it to an art form.

[HillWilliam]

5. "'Facts' Picked by the Man Himself"??

Oo-wee. Sounds like "the man himself" went into the spam folder and actually ordered those Chinese penis extension pills.

Law hammercy. I've seen pitiful before, but that site just took the red velvet cake, gray armadillo icing and all.

[CRK7376]

6. My Boy Scout Troop

has been cracking "Chuck Norris" jokes for a couple of years now around the campfire or during extended drives to campsites. One of the boys will tell a joke, the crowd will bust into laughter and then the next kid will launch a Chuck Norris joke....I didn't get it at first, being an old, grumpy man, but the kids think he is hilarious. I have to admit that some of their remarks about Chuck telling time what time it is or whatever are pretty funny. Taking to it hook line and sinker I went so far as to buy a "Chuck Norris Tells Time What Time It Is" paper folder at Walmart for a 15cents as a gag gift for my 14 year old son over Christmas....Because of that, Chuck may become our 13th man on our Philmont Crew this summer. Hopefully not, but no telling with 14-15 year old boys.....

[MinM]

7. Texas fascists advocating the violent overthrow of the U.S. Government?

Unpossible. :sarcasm:

:kick: & R


http://journals.democraticunderground.com/MinM/108

[LynnTheDem]

8. "we're tired of the corruption" Well DUHHH, then just stop voting for

REPUBLICANS.


The MFing idiots truly have forgotten GEORGE W. BUSH, REPUBLICAN, ran this country into the ground the past EIGHT (8) YEARS.