Lisa Copen, HuffPo: Why Are We Expected to Be Brave in the Face of Illness?

[Amerigo Vespucci]

Why Are We Expected to Be Brave in the Face of Illness?

Lisa Copen

Founder of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week and Rest Ministries
Posted: October 24, 2010 11:48 AM

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-copen/is-being-brave-in-the-fac_b_769943.html

The headlines read "Oliver Stone Hails Michael Douglas' Brave Cancer Fight" and "Brave Brett Michaels wins Celebrity Apprentice." Even as Belgian action movie actor Jean-Claude Van Damme recovers this week from his recent heart attack, I'm sure his friends are saying he is being brave about even the admission of this attack, which came just one day after his 50th birthday while filming a kickboxing movie.

Are those who suffer from stage-four cancer, such as actor Michael Douglas, brave? Are those of us who live with the chaos of chronic illness, such as musician Brett Michaels, who is one of 23 million insulin-dependent diabetics, brave? Are these individuals more courageous than actors Patrick Swayze or Farrah Fawcett, who lost their battles to cancer last year?

Does our society create grand expectations that exemplify bravery and courage as the only acceptable response to an illness crisis? Celebrities coping with health crises are just like the rest of us. They get up each morning and put one foot in front of the other, whether that means an unpleasant medical treatment or going to the grocery store -- but these actions are typically photographed and labeled as signs of "bravery."

I am sympathetic to the friends of celebrities who appear as a guest on a television shows such as The View and are asked to reveal how their celebrity friend with illness is "really doing." There is no appropriate answer. If someone is truly a friend, as Danny Devito is to Michael Douglas, he is not going to say, "He feels terrible and isn't looking too hot either." Instead he will comment on how brave his friend is. It's a considerate response to an awkward question, and it does contain a hint of truth.

Is there an alternative to being brave?

[Hardrada]

1. You put on a good show for purposes of morale. You need to keep

whatever the team you are on and your friends and your family also moving right along and not despairing. There are always tasks to be done even if for the final time and a brave and businesslike attitude will bring them to accomplishment. Think of General Grant's last stand. He finished his memoirs.

[Demeter]

2. We Even Have to Be Brave in the Face of the Tea Party Threat

Better man up, Lisa.

What is that woman's REAL problem, I wonder?