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Friday Talking Points (161) -- April Fools

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ChrisWeigant Donating Member (342 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-11 08:00 PM
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Friday Talking Points (161) -- April Fools
To clarify that title: when you pull a prank on this particular day, you're supposed to reveal yourself as the prankster by yelling "April Fools!" (or even, as a purist might insist, "April Fools'!"). I am not doing so, hence the absence of the exclamation mark. Sadly, my task is today is not to prank anyone (I did that last year and promised I wouldn't do it again), but to catalogue the recent spate of foolishness from our national political arena. A sober list of the fools of April, rather than an excited "April Fools!" gotcha, in other words. Well, maybe not all that sober. You decide.

Speaking of foolishness, I have to begin by admitting how big a fool I am. This week, I was supposed to announce the winners of last week's "Name That War" contest. I fully intended to do so, but then when I sat down to write today, I was so consumed by all the other foolishness that I plumb forgot about judging the contest. I sincerely apologize for being this sort of a forgetful fool this week, and by way of compensation declare that the contest is still open (go read last week's article for context) and we'll still be accepting suggested replacements for (shudder) "Operation Odyssey Dawn" this week. Mea culpa all around, as well.

But back to Washington's fools. Much of this foolishness has been emanating from the Republican side of the aisle. Topping the list is a bill the United States House of Representatives passed today which declares themselves the sole arbiter of what is the "law of the land" in America. Or something. I wrote about this earlier in the week, complete with snarky references to both Schoolhouse Rock and South Park, if you're interested.

In other foolish Republican news, Ben Quayle (son of "Lil' Danny" Quayle) apparently thinks he's a comedian. His audience, sadly for him, did not seem to agree.

Speaking of comedians, several political donors have been having lots of fun filling out their "occupation" on the federal forms required to donate large sums of money to politicians. Most popular amusing response: "Domestic goddess." Others almost as amusing: "slave", "human being", and "Obama momma."

A Republican lawmaker in Montana is decrying DUI laws as "destroying a way of life that has been in Montana for years and years." You just can't make this stuff up, folks. Oh, did I mention he owns a bar?

War fever has apparently struck Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham, as they vie to denounce Libya's Ghaddafi in the strongest possible terms. They've both conveniently forgotten, apparently, that they traveled to Libya in August of 2009 in part to aid Ghaddafi in buying American military equipment. Strange thing, selective memory, isn't it? Graham was even quoted this week, referring to Ghaddafi: "I believe he's an international terrorist." Um, doesn't that make you a terrorist supporter for helping arm him, then, Senator Graham? Just wondering.

President Obama is foolishly avoiding the word "war" and instead the White House came up with the Orwellian "kinetic military action" to describe what America is doing in Libya. Or perhaps they were just trying to insult Ghaddafi, who knows? After all, "KMA" is a common acronym for "kiss my ass" these days....

The president also, quite foolishly, accepted an award for transparency -- and barred the public and the media from the acceptance ceremony. This is cringe-worthy foolishness, folks.

The first big, nationally-television Republican presidential candidate debate has been postponed for half a year, reportedly due to lack of "serious" candidates. This begs the question: How can you tell? Let's take a look at who is running (or reportedly thinking about running), shall we?

Michele Bachmann -- no further comment necessary.

Rick Santorum -- recently said that abortion is the cause of Social Security's problems.

Haley Barbour -- now pushing to build a civil rights museum in Mississippi, in a desperate effort to shed his "Southern good-ol'-boy" image. Um, good luck with that, Haley.

Donald Trump -- who has somehow convinced the media to take him seriously as a candidate, suggests that Obama's not releasing his birth certificate because "it says he's a Muslim."

Herman Cain -- (who has also somehow convinced the media he's a serious candidate) in direct violation of the Constitution, says he will impose a religious test on anyone he names to his cabinet -- no Muslims need apply.

Newt Gingrich -- who is somehow simultaneously arguing that America will soon be taken over by both atheists and radical Islamists. Um, atheist Islamists, Newt? Really? Wow.

And, finally, Sarah Palin -- again, no further comment necessary.

No wonder the network decided to wait a few months to have a debate. Heh.

Moving right along, we've got yet another story exposing Tea Party Republican politicians' hypocrisy -- because they've taken enormous amounts of federal money for themselves, in the form of farm subsidies. Guess all federal spending isn't so evil, eh, guys? Especially when your name is on that "Pay to the order of" line, right?

A Fox News executive was recently caught on tape admitting that the whole "Obama is a socialist" thing was just a big joke, and not any sort of "news" at all. What a surprise!

As I said, it's been quite a week for foolishness. To top it off, every single Republican who has been mentioned as a possible contender for the presidential candidacy just announced that they were all kidding.

Well, no. That last one was a joke. Sadly, all of the other items on the list were not. Have a happy April Fools' Day, everyone!

 



President Obama gave a pretty good speech at the beginning of this week (a half-hour early, so as to not interfere with prime-time network scheduling... have we got our priorities straight as a country, or what?), in which he attempted to answer his critics. It was actually a pretty forceful speech, when compared with some other Obama speeches. But the jury is still out on Obama's Libyan gamble, and this week's news from the battlefront was nowhere near as good as the news just before he gave the speech, so we're going to continue waiting to hand out any sort of award on the Libyan situation.

We have to at least hand out Honorable Mentions this week to Senators Joe Lieberman and John Kerry. Not for supporting Obama on the war in Libya, but for joining together with John McCain to come up with a resolution the Senate can debate and vote on. No matter how you feel on the war, on Libya, on Obama, or on Obama getting congressional approval, this is the "correct" way to do things. If Congress approves of a war, so be it. If they don't approve of a war, that's OK too. But either way, without a resolution to debate, it is nothing more than hot air. We'll revisit this subject in the MDDOTW section in a moment, but for now we have to at least recognize that Kerry and Lieberman are just about the only ones putting their Libyan convictions on the line up on Capitol Hill.

But our Most Impressive Democrat Of The Week this week is none other than Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Secretary Clinton -- again, whether you agree with President Obama's actions in Libya or not -- has proven herself indispensable in the past few weeks, as she travels all over the world competently doing her job. Clinton has had a lot on her plate, with the Arab Spring movement erupting in multiple countries for the past few months, and she has so far done an admirable job as the spokesperson for American foreign policy. Both in private discussions and public appearances, Hillary has been downright remarkable. For doing such a good job of personifying America's stance on the world's stage, Hillary Clinton is this week's Most Impressive Democrat Of The Week.

{Secretary of State Hillary Clinton does not seem to have a State Department contact webpage, so you'll have to let her boss at the White House contact page know you appreciate her efforts.}

 



Whether intentional or not, we've got to at least give a (Dis-)Honorable Mention to the nameless person in the Obama administration who leaked the fact that their are C.I.A. agents currently operating in Libya. What were you guys thinking? Were you thinking? To be fair, leaks in the midst of war can actually be a good thing. The Obama White House leaked a presidential directive which could lead to the U.S. arming the rebels. That is a targeted message to Ghaddafi -- which is doubtlessly why it leaked. But admitting that we've got C.I.A. "feet on the ground" (I have no idea if they wear boots or not) is just stupid and dangerous. So, no matter how far up the chain it happened, the decision to leak this information was nothing short of monumentally stupid. There's a war on, guys. Please think twice next time a reporter calls you.

But our real winners of the Most Disappointing Democrat Of The Week award are pretty much every Democrat in Congress who has criticized the Libyan war -- and not done anything about it. Again, this doesn't even matter how you feel about the war itself. Principled opposition is fine and good, and downright American. But simply complaining without actually doing anything is spineless and opportunist and downright wimpy.

Remember when the war began? Congress was on vacation. Did any anti-war Democrat call loudly for the immediate reconvening of Congress? Not that I am aware of. Congress has now been in session for a week, and the war is almost two weeks old. Has any anti-war Democrat loudly called for a formal resolution to be introduced in Congress against the Libyan war? Well, actually, a few of them have. But for any other Democrat who has complained about Obama's actions -- who has not actually actively supported a congressional resolution -- you guys should be ashamed of yourselves. By carping from the sidelines, you are quite obviously hedging your political bets. You, to be blunt, are waiting to see how it all turns out. If you do oppose the war in Libya, then put your vote where your mouth is. Because that is principled anti-war opposition. Congress has had two weeks to do something. They have done nothing, and other than a few Democrats who are working on a pro-war resolution (as mentioned in the MIDOTW section) and a few Democrats who are pushing anti-war resolutions, the rest of the pack is doing absolutely nothing, while waiting to see how it all turns out.

Again -- for the war or against the war -- all Democrats in Congress who haven't clearly stated their position and how they will vote are hereby lumped together in our collective Most Disappointing Democrat Of The Week this week. Put up or shut up, folks.

{You'll have to research your own members of Congress to find out where they stand on this one, sorry. Providing contact info for such a large group is just impossible, at this point.}

 


Volume 161 (4/1/11)


Senator Charles Schumer was "caught" this week trying to get Democrats to use a talking point. In a conference call with reporters, Schumer apparently didn't realize the phone lines were already open, and was heard telling his colleagues what the Democratic Caucus thought should be their spin on the issue being discussed.

For this, Schumer deserves praise, and not ridicule. It's about damn time Democrats tried to get their party members speaking off the same page! It should really come as no surprise that we here at Friday Talking Points Central are actually in favor of Democrats using talking points, at least not to anyone who's ever made it to the bottom of one of these seemingly-endless columns. Ahem.

Some on the Left decry the use of talking points altogether. The very concept is supposed to be bad, somehow. This is balderdash. Can a hammer be "bad"? Can a pair of pliers? No! They cannot! They can be used in "good" or "bad" ways, but they are merely tools in a toolbox. The same holds true for this political tool.

The thing is, talking points work. They work no matter what the content of the talking point may be. It is called "repetition," as every advertiser knows. The classic example is a radio advertisement. To get through to their audience, pretty much every single radio ad made repeats the contact information (phone number, web address) at least three times. Don't believe me? Turn on a radio and listen. That's right folks, I said turn on a radio and listen. Drop what you are doing, go over to the radio, and turn it on right now, and listen to a few ads.

See what I just did, there? It was annoying, wasn't it? But I'll bet a week from now you'll remember my "turn on the radio" example. That's the way it works. And it works best if the message is simple, concise, and easy for folks to wrap their minds around -- a "talking point," or a "soundbite."

Talking points work. Senator Schumer deserves all kinds of kudos for using them, and trying to get other Democrats to use them as well. Democrats wouldn't get so hammered in the media when they frame the issues badly if they could learn this simple trick.

My suggested talking points this week aren't the best I've ever written, mostly because there are so many things going on currently that Democrats haven't really come together on. Also, because there are a few funny ones (to mark this auspicious date). But try using a few of these, Democrats, and see how well they work -- that's all we ever ask here.

 

   How is "improved a full point" bad news?

This one is a personal bugaboo of mine. The media have all decided that no good news on the economy is even possible at this point in time. They've held to this for the past few months, even though some amazingly good news has happened on the unemployment front. Even Lefty news sources have joined this doom-and-gloom chorus, for reasons unknown. Sure, things could be better, but just a few months ago they were decidedly worse. So why is this not good news?

"I see that the unemployment rate fell again last month. In fact, in the past four months, the unemployment rate has fallen a full percentage point -- which is one of the steepest declines ever seen since unemployment records have been kept. Four short months ago we faced 9.8 percent unemployment. Today, the rate has fallen to 8.8 percent. That is an astonishing decline. Sure, this is not where we'd like it to be -- it is still way too high. But it is coming down, and I fail to understand why this is not treated as good news by certain members of the media. There are a lot of people still out of work, and we've got a lot more ground to gain on this front, but it is impossible to deny that things are heading in the right direction. A full point drop in four months is actually a very optimistic sign for the American economy, and America's future. Let's continue to work to improve this number, but let's also note the improvement we have made and are making."

 

   The Tea Party moment of truth

What's going to happen on the budget next week is going to set the stage for the rest of this congressional session. Because it will be the true test of the Tea Party Republicans' power. Will they force a government shutdown in defiance of their Republican leadership? Or will they have to watch as a compromise bill passes without their support? Oh, and as Chuck Schumer suggested, feel free to use the word "extreme," quite liberally. Heh.

"The House Republicans are going to be very interesting to watch over the next week, as the budget showdown comes down to the wire. If a bill isn't passed by Friday, the government will shut down. The Tea Party Republicans faction in the House seems determined not to compromise one tiny little bit from the extreme position they've staked out. Republicans in the Senate, however, seem willing to work something out with Democrats and the White House. I wouldn't want to be in Speaker John Boehner's shoes next week, as he will be faced with either shutting down the government or getting a bipartisan vote out of Democrats and the non-extreme members of his party. Either way, he's going to upset a certain segment of his base, so it will be interesting to see which he chooses in the end. Will the extremists' tail wag the Republican dog, or not?"

 

   Vote on Libya, one way or another

This is a continuation of the MDDOTW section, obviously.

"For all those people in Congress who have been complaining about what President Obama is doing in Libya, and how he should have gotten congressional approval, why haven't you done anything yet? Where is your resolution which says exactly what America should do in Libya? Do you support Obama on Libya? Then where is your resolution authorizing force? Do you disagree with Obama? Then were is your resolution stating this, and condemning Obama's use of force? It's easy to complain from the sidelines that you don't have a role, but it's been two weeks now, and I haven't seen Congress debating anything on Libya yet. Which only goes to strengthen the presidents' argument that waiting for Congress to act would have condemned the effort to endless dithering."

 

   How about some freakin' numbers?!?

This is also a pet peeve of mine. Radiation has now been detected in milk in California and Washington state. And yet, still no real numbers from the media. I ranted about this at length in the introduction to FTP (159) two weeks ago, so I'm just going to cut and past an excerpt of this rant, and direct it towards the media, once again. To date, I have seen exactly one newspaper article which had a chart that plotted millisieverts. One.

Because I am addressing the blow-dried "journalist" segment of the population here, I will use small words. You see, there is this thing called "science." What science does, it measures stuff. It puts numbers on things, usually using a scale so that comparisons can be made. Nuclear power is, actually, part of this "science" stuff. Radiation is, actually, measurable. Your viewers would benefit if you started communicating these measurements on the air.

There are a number of different measurements which could be used. The old (pre-metric system) measurement of the dosage of nuclear radiation for humans was the "rem." This has been updated to the metric "sievert." Japanese media report the radiation danger using "millisieverts" (1/1,000th of a sievert) and "microsieverts" (1/1,000,000th of a sievert) per hour. These numbers can easily be compared to normal background radiation (which we all get a dose of every day), and the tried-and-true "chest X-ray" example ("the equivalent of two chest X-rays"). It takes about ten seconds to explain the concept -- ten seconds the American media has so far not spent.

The raw radioactivity could be measured another way, in "curies" (or millicuries, etc.). Either way, using numbers gives people a way to compare the situation, day-to-day, and can be used to calm worries about how much radiation has been picked up by the winds and is now hitting the West Coast of America.


 

   What if they gave a tea party and nobody came?

OK, this is pure snark, I have to admit.

"Did you see the Tea Party rally at the Capitol last week? From the photos and video I saw, it looked like more members of the media showed up than actual participants in the rally. There were, to be charitable, perhaps a few hundred people listening to Tea Party Republican politicians pander to them, in naked fear of their power. But from what I could tell, this power appears to be seriously waning. Of course, I haven't checked Fox News for their numbers on the rally, doubtlessly they'll reassure their viewers that a few million people showed up, and were just hiding back in the trees or something."

 

   The first Obama re-election ad?

To counter the snarkiness of the last item, I'm going to give the National Republican Senatorial Committee a slot this week (which I believe is fairly unprecedented in this space).

"Did you see the first Obama re-election ad? April Fools!"

 

   Got any spare Italian automobiles?

Finally, to counter that last piece of nonsense, we have an even funnier piece of nonsense.

"I saw recently that Republican state legislator Sean Duffy of Wisconsin apparently can't make ends meet with his $174,000 salary. The local Democrats have responded by holding a donation drive today -- the first of April -- for kindly folks to donate their spare top hats, monocles, spats, and Italian automobiles. I strongly urge everyone to join in the spirit of this auspicious day by giving what they can to poor, poor Sean Duffy. The ultimate irony in this story is that Duffy is married to a former actress from the Real World television show. Too bad Duffy and his wife have no clue how people in the actual 'real world' have to make ends meet."

 

Chris Weigant blogs at: ChrisWeigant.com
Follow Chris on Twitter: @ChrisWeigant
Full archives of FTP columns: FridayTalkingPoints.com
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Demeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-11 09:27 PM
Response to Original message
1. We Have Met the April Fools, and They Are Us
as Pogo would have said.

I'm hoping that I can fall back through the Looking Glass, myself, and find a real world full of reality-based people. Maybe I have to change my name to Alice?
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ChrisWeigant Donating Member (342 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-02-11 02:33 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. To which I can only reply....
Demeter -

To which I can only reply: "I go Pogo."

Heh.

Has Pogo Possum filed papers for the 2012 run yet? Just curious....

Or, perhaps, I should respond: "Go ask Alice... when she's ten feet tall..."

:-)

-CW
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russspeakeasy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-11 10:04 PM
Response to Original message
2. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. And a little humor.
I needed that..
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ChrisWeigant Donating Member (342 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-02-11 02:34 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Same bat time, same bat channel, every week...
russspeakeasy -

Join us here every week. Same bat time, same bat channel.

Heh.

-CW
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