http://motherjones.com/media/2011/06/parenting-tips-prison-guardsSome of the best parenting advice I've ever gotten was from a website for prison guards. While researching a story on prison riots, I was browsing CorrectionsOne, a site for corrections professionals whose typical stories have titles like "Mass. man escapes jail wearing only boxer shorts" and "Alternative Uses for Batons" (sorry, that one's for sworn correctional officers only). There, amid the Taser ads and tales of prison gangs, I came across an article that changed the way I think about being a dad.
The article, "7 things never to say to anyone, and why", listed common statements used by prison guards and police officers and explained why they make people do the exact opposite of what they're being told to do. The seven things were:
1. "Hey you! Come here!"
2. "Calm down!"
3. "I'm not going to tell you again!"
4. "Be more reasonable!"
5. "Because those are the rules!"
6. "What's your problem?"
7. "What do you want me to do about it?"
If you've ever been a child or have your own, you undoubtedly recognize those as the greatest hits of the pissed-off parent. As the father of three kids under five, I've probably said some variation of each of these phrases dozens, if not hundreds, of times.