I found out why Bob Boudelang didn't have a DU article this week!

[Sephirstein]

This letter was published in my local paper this past Saturday. All paranthetical remarks are my own.

"Gay marriages damaging to society (Big surprise. Too stupid to capitalize the letter's title. Was my local paper TRYING to make this Yoshidiot look bad by not correcting such a simple error?)

In response to the front page story in the Standard-Freeholder, July 18, "Gay couples pick up marriage licences in Cornwall." (Yep, like most theocrats, this nimrod fails to begin his letter with a complete sentence.)As a nation of spiritual foundations stemming from the Scriptures of the Greek and Hebrew Holy Bible, these spiritual forces are unchangeable, as is the Lord who inspired them. (Scriptures should not be capitalized when its title ("The Holy Scriptures"), not when its attached to a title by a preposition. Oh, and "Scriptures of the Greek and Hebrew" is completely unnecessary, as "Holy Bible" alone would eliminate needless embellishment. The author has also fused two unrelated ideas without linking them in away: He does not in any way relate Canada's spiritual foundations to their unchangeability".)

If Candians attempt to override (Is that really the best word?) these foundational (Again, it's not the best word.) truths, we are, in some sense (Note: If there is a comma after "are", a comma must grammatically follow "sense". It gets FAR worse though.) challenging the Creator to turn his (For such a pious Christian, you'd think he'd know to capitalize personal pronouns intended to replace "God".) eyes from us, as we done to the Hebrews many times through (Shouldn't this be "throughout"?) history. ("As we done to the Hebrews?" Did people who were not yet born somehow smite the Hebrews? Or are is the author just a moran (sic)? Oh and the sentence is one of many awkward run-ons.)

This blanket of spiritual protection can be removed from our land. (Talk about plagiariasm! This sentence was lifted straight out of Jezebel Foulhell's mouth when he discussed 9/11 on the 666 Club.) If this happens (This should never ever appear in a sentence without its antecedent.) criminal activity (Notice the missing comma anyone?) will increase, as well as natural disasters (This structure is unparallel! "as well as natural disasters" should have come bafore "will increase".), this is to name only a few possibilities. (Aside from the fact that "consequences" would be a far better word than "possibilities" based on the "point" that the author is trying to get across, anybody who completed the 8th grade without ever benefitting from social promotion should be able to find the comma splice in this "sentence".)

I am not condemning the gay individual, but I am condemning their (What do you know? Here's yet another pronoun-antecedent agreement error.) their want to be a family, as prescribed in the Bible as husband and wife, ("Their want to be a family" is a noun phrase. Saying that such a noun phrase is "as prescribed in the Bible as husband and wife" makes absolutely no sense. Man, this guy's wording sucks. I love laughing my ass of.) through the spiritual ordinances (Is the religious institution of marriage a bylaw or a Sacrament?) of marriage. (Why the Hell does Biblical law need to be applied to the entire popular of a secular society? And why oh why does this moron write nonsensical run-on sentences?)
This change in our government's decision abput gay couples allowing them to get married (What the Hell is he saying? I'm not even going to bother. The syntax here is so mangled that Bush is now starting to sound like Shakespeare.) is a major blow to the stringent (As opposed to lenient?) reality of an immutable and omnipresent God (A God? Why is "god" capitalized here? The fact that he wrote "a God" makes him either a polygamist or a *******. I'm leaning towards the latter.) of the Holy Scriptures. (So is he saying that same-sex marriage will make God less likely to be real? WTF? If it makes you feel any better, the next sentence is masterpiece by this author's standards.)

Even my own personal feeling about these marriage decrees are secondary, (Why in God's name is there a comma here?) to the primary source of spiritual inspiration, the Holy Scriptures. (So what is it kid? You no longer have the right to form your own opinions? BTW, did anyone notice that the least three paragraphs only had a single sentence? I thought paragraphs were a unit of coherent thought of which sentences are the building blocks. Obviously, coherent thought is far beyond this author's grasp.)
When the Father sent his (Again, the authory shows his unwavering piety by failing to capitalise a pronoun standing in the place of God.) Son Jesus Christ to the earth for the cross (Ummm...Jesus was sent to save us, not to retrieve a goddamn cross.), he (Wow, this numbnuts made the same mistake twice in the same sentence. Not even I'm that stupid!) was never insubordinate to the Father. (How could He be? Isn't insubordination impossible by definition if the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are the same god?) We must be very arrogant (Why thank you! ) to think we are above the Son, (There should be no comma when a series contains only two items.)
and all the teaching he (Do I even need to bother? *shudders*) gave on this matter. (Let me get this straight (no pun intended): Jesus told us to forget our native language and to write a mindlessly gay-bashing article in a crappy small-town newspaper?)

Name withheld to prevent further humiliation"

Man oh man alive! If I were running that paper, the entire editorial staff would be fired for letting that stink-bomb of a letter appear in the paper.

I wrote more ridiculing the poor sap than he "wrote" in this letter.