A Couple of Songs to Cheer you up

[othermeans]

THE KENNEBUNKPORT HILLBILLY

to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song"

Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy name Bush.
His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush.
He drank like a fish while he drove all about.
But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out.
DUI, that is. Criminal record. Cover-up.

Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale.
He can't spell his name but they never let him fail.
He spends all his time hangin' out with student folk.
And that's when he learns how to snort a line of coke.
Blow, that is. White gold. Nose candy.

The next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam.
Kin folks say, "George, stay at home with Mom."
Let the common people get maimed and scarred.
We'll buy you a spot in the Texas Air Guard.
Cushy, that is. Country clubs. Nose candy.

Twenty years later George gets a little bored.
He trades in the booze, says that Jesus is his Lord.
He said, "Now the White House is the place I wanna be."
So he called his daddy's friends and they called the GOP.
Gun owners, that is. Falwell. Jesse Helms.

Come November 7, the election ran late.
Kin folks said "Jeb, give the boy your state!"
"Don't let those colored folks get into the polls."
So they put up barricades so they couldn't punch their holes.
Chads, that is. Duval County. Miami-Dade.

Before the votes were counted five Supremes stepped in.
Told all the voters "Hey, we want George to win."
"Stop counting votes!" was their solemn invocation.
And that's how George finally got his coronation.
Rigged, that is. Illegitimate. No moral authority.
Y'all come vote now. Ya hear?

THE YELLOW ROGUE OF TEXAS

new post-election lyrics
by Heather Munro Prescott ([e-mail]),
Department of History, Central Connecticut State University
There's a Yellow Rogue in Texas
That people scarcely see
The press cannot get near him
He just sends out Dick Cheney
He cried about the recount
And said it would not do
But if it's right for Texas,
Why not for Florida too?

Chorus:
He's the dumbest little doofus
That Texas ever knew
His grin is rather goofy
And just a bit off true
You may talk about a revote
And sing of what could be
But the Yellow Rogue of Texas
Beat the dork from Tennessee.

Where two rivers are a' flowin'
And the starry skies are bright
He walks his grounds in Austin
In the quiet autumn night

He hopes that we remember
When his Dad was president
But hopes we don't remember
His Dad left a large national debt

More at:
http://www3.niu.edu/newsplace/wh9gg.html

[SidBurn]

1. Heres another one

God has smiled upon DU this day
The fate of a nation in your hands
And blessed be the Democrats
Who fight with all our bravery
Till only the righteous stand

You see the distant flames
They bellow in the night
You fight in all our names
For what we know is right
And when you all get shot
And can not carry on
Though you die
La Resistance lives on

You may get stabbed in the head
With a dagger or sword
You may be burned to death
Or skinned alive or worse
But when they torture you
You will not feel the need to run for
Though you die
La Resistance lives on

Blame Canada
Blame Canada
Because the country's gone awry
Tomorrow night these freaks will fry.

Tomorrow night
Our lives will change
Tomorrow night
We'll be entertained
An execution
What a sight
Tomorrow night

Up there, there is so much room
Where baby's burp and flowers bloom
Tomorrow night up there is doomed
And so I will be going soon

Shut your fucking face uncle fucker
You're a boner biting bastard uncle fucker

Looks like we may be out of luck

Tomorrow night we're pretty fucked

Why did George Bush start this war
What the fuck is he fighting for
When did this nation turn so fucking dumb?

I want to live up there
When Canada is dead and gone there'll be no more Celien Dion

They may cut your dick in half
And serve it to a pig
And though it hurts you'll laugh
You'll dance a dickless jig
But that's the way it goes
In war you're shat upon
Though you die
La Resistance LIVES ON!!!