http://snltranscripts.jt.org/97/97pfunhouse.phtmlSingers:
"Schoolroom Rocky's back on the block
With Conspiracy Theory Rock
It's a media-opoly. A media-opoly."
< logos of the five major corporations--GE, Westinghouse, Disney, Fox and ??, each with eight octopus legs--sit at a banquet table with the logos of media corporations--ABC, CNN, TV Guide, the NBC peacock, the CBS eye--served up as food on plates >
Singers:
"The whole media's controlled by a few corporations.
Thanks to deregulation by the FCC."
< the Westinghouse logo eats the CBS eye, GE gobbles up the NBC peacock, Fox eats TV Guide, Mickey Mouse eats ABC, under which is the title "DEREGULATION!" A bearded hippy sees this on TV and asks: >
Hippy: You mean Disney, Fox, Westinghouse and good ol' GE?
Singers: "They own networks from CBS to CNBC."
< the logos' tentacles are shown holding various conquests: Military Jet Engines, nuclear reactors, Radioactive waste, Cable TV, Music, Surveillance Radar, Bass Petroleum >
Hippy < sings >
"They can use them to say whatever they please
And put down the opinions of anyone who disagrees."
< Peter Jennings on World News Tonight wears Mickey Mouse ears. Dan Rather on CBS reports in front of a SUPER: "WASHER-DRYERS IMPROVE SEX". On the Today Show, Matt Lauer covers a protest sign at the window that reads "GE POISONS ENVIRONMENT" so that it reads "GE LOVES YOU" >
Singers: "Or stuff about PCBs"
Hippy: What are PCBs?
Singers: "They come from electric power plants built by Westinghouse and GE."
< a nuclear factory with the Westinghouse and GE logos interchanging produces smoke with the letters PCB. >
Hippy: < sings >
"They can give you lots of cancer
That can hurt your body"
< inside a factory worker breathes in the letters, sneezes and his nose tears off. >
Singers:
"But on network TV
You'll rarely hear anything bad about the nuclear industry"
< the Logo Octopi are shown holding media logos, nuclear factories, B-1 bombers, power plants, etc. The NBC peacock kisses one of the nuclear factories. The CBS eye winks at Westinghouse >
Hippy: Like when Westinghouse was sued for fraud?
< newspaper headline reads "NEVADA POWER AND LIGHT SUES WESTINGHOUSE." The CBS eye jumps in and gawks at the headline. >
Kids: "Which time?"
< A second paper enters with the headline: "WESTINGHOUSE IN PCB SUIT". Each headline throughout is followed by a footnote number >
Hippy: < sings > "When GE made defective bolts it was an unreported crime"
< a newspaper headline reads "GE IN BOLT SCANDAL" The NBC peacock comes in and angrily soils the headline >
Hippy: < sings >
"Or when it was boycotted for operating nuclear bomb plants
just to squeeze a dime..."
< another paper pushes the bird aside and reads "1% OF CONSUMERS NOW BOYCOTTING GE". A footnote after the headline reads at the bottom of the page: "Chicago Tribune 5-14-91" >
Singers: "That's a footnote, by the way."
Hippy: < sings >"A footnote protects you from folks who doubt what you say."
< the NBC peacock sneers at the footnote >
Hippy: < banging the side of his head, sings > "Now maybe the voices in my head will go away."
Singers: "But the bigshots don't care.
They're all sitting pretty thanks to corporate welfare."
< the Logo Octopi sit in rocking chairs holding their network logos. Title reads "CORPORATE WELFARE" >
Hippy: What's that now?
Singers: "They get billions in subsidies from the government. It's supposed to create jobs but that's not how it's spent."
< logos jump for joy among falling money. GE eats one of the bills. Westinghouse stands before rows of employees. It pushes down the top row of people who *ka-ching!* like a cash register and are replaced with the word DOWNSIZE >
Singers: "They use PACs and soft money to support Congressmen
Who will vote for weapons programs again and again..."
< GE has its arm around a gray-haired politician playing golf, then pulls down a placard, showing his face through it, reading FOR CONGRESS. The politician, now congressman, shakes hands with and hugs the famous SHR "Only a Bill" Bill which reads "Bomber Fund" >
Singers: "And let them dump toxic waste where the young ones play."
< Westinghouse leans on a barrel of toxic waste that leaks near a playground of children >
Hippy: < sings > "I hear GE made the bullets that shot JFK."
< GE hands Lee Harvey Oswald a handful of bullets then shakes his hand. Paper reads GE BEHIND ASSASSINATION with large "5" footnote accentuated. Footnote reads "MY UNCLE LARRY" >
Singers:
"You contribute to this chain
Every time you buy a product
Sponsored on this show."
< GE huddles with Congressman, Nuclear Factory, Oswald, and holds up a television which reads "BUY LOTSA BEER." A person throws down a bill and grabs the beer bottle from the TV. The TV opens up and a B-1 Bomber comes out >
Hippy: < sings > "That's what NBC doesn't want you to know."
< the NBC peacock flies in and tries to cover the image >
Singers: "So next time—"
< screen goes blank and reads PLEASE STAND BY with NBC logo and a high-pitched tone. Letters begin to dance >
Singers:
"'Please stand by'
'Please stand by'
It means there's technical difficulty
Supposedly"
< the bearded hippy lifts the graphic to reveal a group of homeless people >
Singers:
"So if you see
A 'Please Stand By'
You'll know it's all part of GE's big lie."
< they wave dismissively and walk off towards the GE logo setting like the sun on the horizon >
Singers:
"Why'd they take Norm MacDonald away?
Because he made too many jokes about O.J.,
but Lorne Michaels overruled.
Hippy: < sings >
Now don't be fooled.
He and Marion Barry went to the same high school."
< the GE logo blinks then burns out. Fade >
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