Fooled you all! I'm a religious freeper. Funny thing happened today.

[tuvor]

I was walking in San Francisco along the Golden Gate Bridge when I saw a man about to jump off. I tried to dissuade him from committing suicide and told him simply that God loved him. A tear came to his eye.

I then asked him, "Are you a Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, or what?"

He said, "I'm a Christian."

I said, "Me, too, small world. . .Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me, too, what denomination?"

He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me, too, Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Well, ME TOO, Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I said, "Well, that's amazing! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reformed Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist."

I said, "Remarkable! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I said, "A miracle! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "DIE, HERETIC!' and pushed him over the rail.

(Credit goes to Emo Philips.)

[democracyindanger]

1. I don't believe it

I mean, I believe you're a religious freeper. I just don't believe Emo Philips said all those words at once. Must've taken him an hour.

[allalone]

25. that's funny

[Brian Morans]

2. funny!

[bitchkitty]

3. Funny!

Funny symbols in your post, fixed it for you.

I was walking in San Francisco along the Golden Gate Bridge when I saw a man about to jump off. I tried to dissuade him from committing suicide and told him simply that God loved him. A tear came to his eye.

I then asked him, "Are you a Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, or what?"

He said, "I'm a Christian."

I said, "Me, too, small world. . .Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me, too, what denomination?"

He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me, too, Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Well, ME TOO, Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I said, "Well, that's amazing! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reformed Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist."

I said, "Remarkable! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I said, "A miracle! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "DIE, HERETIC!' and pushed him over the rail.

[tuvor]

6. The quotes? Mine read fine, but thanks!

Changed the original, too. Thanks again.

[alittlelark]

4. ROTFLMAO !!!!!

I'm sendin' that to my Mom !!!

[karlrschneider]

5. I remember seeing Emo doing that many moons ago.

He was on the mark.
:eyes:

[tuvor]

7. From his first album in 1986, E=MO squared.

I wish I could find that on CD.

[T Roosevelt]

9. Ditto

In Salt Lake City of all places. He was hilarious!

[super simian]

8. �?�

Hard to read with � all over the place. How does that happen? Funny story, though. Is it true, d'ya think? LOL

[tuvor]

10. Thanks to bitchkitty, all is right again! n/t

[super simian]

13. purr-ciate it....

just wonder what those marks were and why they appeared.....?

[tuvor]

15. On my browser (Firefox) they look like angled quotation marks.

As opposed to the vertical ones that everyone seems to get correctly.

[janx]

11. That's by far the funniest joke I've heard in a long time! n/t

[NYCGirl]

12. Thanks so much! I haven't thought of Emo for ages...

Glad to see he's still around and he has a very very cool website!

http://www.emophilips.com/

[tuvor]

16. Looks like he's gone back to his old look.

Last time I saw that site he looked more..."modern".

[NYCGirl]

17. Hmmm...I like the old "Dutch boy" haircut better. Glad he went back to it.

Some interesting trivia from IMDB:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0680073/bio

Guess he got divorced from Judy Tenuta. What a household that must've been!

[leesa]

14. Too funny! Religion in a nutshell.

[lonestarnot]

18. This pretty fucking funny Tuvor but never heard of Emo and he looks like

a freak! Yaaaaaawwwwwww

[flygal]

19. On Conan - "German's are always complaining they can't get bagels..."

I tell them - well who's fault is that?"

Oy!

[flaminbats]

20. Why are we soooooooo preachy today?

n/t :evilfrown:

[tuvor]

21. Not sure what you're talking about.

But I thought it was funny and underscored religious/freeper mantality, and I wanted to share.

Sorry to bug you, however that may have happened.

[flaminbats]

22. bug on brother!!

let the calculus of gauge symmetry be your guide :spank:

[tuvor]

23. If you're gonna "bash" me, at least be decent enough to be coherent. n/t

[Amfortas]

24. Funnnyy!