My in-laws are in a Catholic cult. Help please!

[grace0418]

Okay, I'm not bashing Catholics here. I'm being totally serious and I'm really freaked.

My husband's parents are Filipino and I've learned over the past 17 years that I've known my husband that the brand of Catholicism that many Filipinos practice can be very superstitious and cultish. My in-laws are extremely devout, so devout in fact that even the super-Catholicism of the Philippines isn't hard-core enough.

Over the last 5 or 6 years they've joined some rather dubious religious group or groups that claim to be Catholic but seem really outer-limits to me. They go on pilgrimages several times a year to rather dangerous places, they bring back blurry photographs and other evidence that they claim "proves" that Jesus was spotted in XYZ location or a tortilla or whatever, they visit grottos and shrines and weeping statues, they tried to forbid my nieces from watching The Hunchback of Notre Dame because the gargoyles were the devil, they (of course) did the same regarding the Harry Potter books. Naturally they send oodles of their retirement money to these organizations and in return they get all kinds of really crazy and frightening literature, which they in turn try to share with us.

All this time my husband and his brother and sister, while worried that my in-laws were being bilked out of their savings, left the subject alone. They're not the most communicative family. They'd smile and nod and take the literature, only to throw it out and roll their eyes. But tonight I think it's gone to a whole new level.

We arrived at my in-laws to have dinner with them before they went on a trip to the Philippines. After dinner and the Illini game, my father-in-law invited us into the crawl space. The crawl space was lined with bottle after bottle of water and untold cases of canned food. He then proceeded to tell us that the death of Pope John Paul II meant the end of the world. He produced some literature explaining that the papacy, upon the death of the current pope, would be taken over by the anti-christ and the world would end. The part that really frightened me was that the literature contained instructions about what the "true believers" should do and one instruction was repeated several times. It said that it was important that the person reading this, the "true believer," should not tell anyone else what was about to happen.

:scared:

Is it just me or does this sound like freaky-effing-kool-aid-drinking-jonestown mind control? It's one thing if they want to believe in and spend their retirement nestegg on this crazy shit. But now I'm worried that they're going to be brainwashed into taking some kind of action (what, I don't know). Are they going to sacrifice one of my nieces on an altar in the crawl space? Are they going to go to the Vatican and try to stop the new "anti-christ" pope from taking over?

So my question is, what should I do? Should I butt out? Should I try to convince my husband to step in? Should I try to find some organization that deprograms people in cults? What? I'm really worried now. Thanks for any advice.

[ohio_liberal]

1. If the world is ending

why do they need bottled water and canned food? :shrug:

On edit:
If they're Catholic, find a priest to talk to them.

[grace0418]

2. I know, it makes no sense.

If they're "true believers" like the literature says, they're going to get carried into heaven at the end of the world. And I'm *guessing* that heaven is fully stocked with all your food and beverage needs. That's the scary part. They don't even see how crazy this all sounds, and I'm afraid they're going to end up seeing the logic in all kinds of illogical actions.

The priest idea won't work, they've already been convinced that regular Catholic priests are in cahoots with the anti-pope.

[ohio_liberal]

6. It doesn't sound like Catholicism at all to me

The papal anti-Christ stuff is one of the things that the extremist fundies believe. How many people in your family? Might be time for an intervention, but I would do it well-armed with information to disprove all the BS they're being fed. It might not be a bad thing for your hubby and any other siblings to consult with a member of the clergy.

[FreedomAngel82]

20. Only thing I can think of with the food

is that in Revelations there's a section that talks about Christ's 1,000 world rule reign where he'll rule on this Earth and all that. At my church in the college age class we talked about this last year and looked at various scriptures from the gospel books from Christ and we concluded from studying this that there will be no such thing because Christ has repeadtley said that his home is not of this world, not to put your treasure's here etc. so why would he tell you all of that and then have a 1,000 rule reign? :shrug:

[grace0418]

24. Yet another thing that makes absolutely

no sense. There's very little logic involved.

[ngGale]

3. Sounds pretty strange, but...

we have Catholic's here reading Jerry Falwell's book. I have no idea which one is worse, whatever it is it's spreading.

[Wonk]

4. "should not tell anyone else what was about to happen"

and yet he did, and so did you :shrug:

and, this is based on what, again?

[grace0418]

14. Well, I think at this point, my father-in-law still

counts his kids and grandkids as "saved" because he loves us and we're his family. So him telling us about it doesn't count as breaking that rule in his mind. What really worries me is what might happen should he realize that we all think it's a bunch of hooey. Will he stop talking to us? Will he try to "force" us to "believe" in some way? I just don't know. He's not a violent person at all but I just don't know what some that brainwashed is capable of doing.

[nonconformist]

5. Creepy.

I would think a good start would be to research whatever group they're involved with. You say they show you literature - maybe there is a name of a church or group on that. If you could scan and post some of the literature, I bet a lot of DU'ers would jump in to help investigate.

[grace0418]

16. Good idea.

Thanks, I was so freaked out last night I don't know what we did with the packet of literature. I'll see if I can find it. He gave us a whole bunch of medals and pictures too. When he told me that one medal was for St. Benedict, I almost asked "Is he the patron saint of eggs?" but thought better of the idea.

[readmylips]

7. Many new Catholic converts throughout the world mix their old....

religious practices with their new found Catholic religion. Most people in Haiti are Catholic but yet they also practice voodoo. Catholic Native Americans incorporate many of their native practices with their new Catholic religion. It's also true in Hawaii, Africa, Philippines, etc. It's almost like saying, people who speak Spanish mix it with English to create Spanglish.

Your family has gone back to old religious roots and think that it's part of Catholicism. They'll be OK.

[grace0418]

18. But it's not the Catholicism of the Philippines that

they're practicing anymore. They USED to be standard issue Filipino Catholics. What they're doing now is far scarier.

[TaleWgnDg]

8. Pass the Kool-Aid, and hand me my DSM-IV !!!

.

Uuuummmmmmm, do a *google* on "DSM IV" . . .


.

[smurfygirl]

9. there are some people that interperate revelations as

the next pope will be the anti christ. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, me and my husband deal with the same thing except on the evangelical level. We have been told by his mother's preacher that all catholics are going to hell and that jesus is amongst us right now waiting to take us to heaven but only if we are baptized. This is why I have no religion, it's too fucked up.

First the only advice I can give you is let them continue on this road of paranoia. Eventually in ten or twenty years they will be feeling really quite silly. You must talk to your children or niece or the niece's parents about this though and let her know they are a little over the edge. I wouldn't butt in to harshly. But I would let them know that you are newly married, love life and your husband and would appriciate if they would keep their doomsday predictions to themselves. That way you don't have to feel creepy around them anymore. Have your hubby do it first and if it doesn't stop, step in and be brutally honest. Maybe that will help them to see they are stepping overboard.

[grace0418]

15. Oh we've been married for almost 8 years and

together for almost 17 years. The newlywed argument won't work so well. My father-in-law didn't get this way until about 5 or 6 years ago. He was driving to the airport and my husband and his sister were in the car. He hit a slick spot and spun out of control and hit a wall at the edge of the expressway. No one was seriously injured but ever since then he's been freaky-deaky on the religious tip. My mother-in-law was just along for the ride until recently.

Anyway, I don't think my husband will agree to cutting off communication with them. I think that he and his siblings aren't taking this seriously enough. I myself was fine with letting them have their weird religious obsession until last night. Last night I really got a sense that they're being mind-controlled. But since my husband already thinks I'm a crazy conspiracy theorist just for being a member of DU, my concern isn't swaying him much.

[Maraya1969]

10. I would contact a deprogramming organization on the net and ask

them what to do. We here are not the experts of this type of thing. I did look up Philippines +cults and got a lot of hits. It seems like a good place for cults.

Personally, I would not go visit them at their house anymore since they are into believing that the world is coming to an end. I'd be afraid of what a person who was convinced of that would do. I'd especially not take children there.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

11. Have any of you ever noticed...

That a common and nearly-universal thread that runs through any cult is the thread that deals with end-times immenency? That the more controlling the cult, the greater the emphasis on the end-times? That the more strongly it is emphasised and the more it is stressed, the more the ascribants to the cult must give up to the cult? Either their money, their time or their egos?

They all forget one simple thing:

"No man may know..."

It is right there, in plain black and white. Clear and simple. Plain as the nose on the end on your face.

The hucksters have been working that end-times con on the rubes since the first bible hit the first bookstore. It wows them in the cheap seats, however. Keeps 'em coming back for more.

It has everything to do with the new emphasis on "manifest destiny".

[FreedomAngel82]

21. You're right

If any church was serious about being a church of God they would point that out I'd think. That's one thing that you see in the Bible is that no man knows. Jesus has said this numerous times I believe. Sure, there are signs but there's no date at all. Things change all the time. But that is a very good point. Look at the evangelical base that follows Bush around. They think he's a god or some great prophet when he could indeed be the opposite for all they know.

[ladjf]

12. Intervention will not help them. They are terminally ill.

[fasttense]

13. This is a common interpretation of Saint Augustine

he predicted how many popes there would be and gave vague description about each so that they seem to match with the actual popes. According to him, this coming pope is the last. My husband tracks these dooms day predictions. This Catholic cult is not the only one saying that.

[Ilsa]

17. Also, check into your legal remedies.

Make sure you know what to do to protect anyone from being hurt. Maybe if they attempt to do certain things, they can be evaluated for mental competency.

If there are any emotional problems that tend to surface from time to time, maybe they are more prone to drinking this Koolaid and could be helped with medication.

[Cleita]

19. If they are giving up their money and possessions, or if there is

a possibility that they will, look into the legal options of obtaining a legal guardianship, or custodianship over their assets, if not by you maybe another relative you can trust. If the money tree dries up, I think so will the cult's interest in them.

It's kind of extreme but sometimes you have to do what is hard to save your loved ones.

[neebob]

22. People allow themselves to be brainwashed

Right now I'm feeling kind of depressed because I was once again confronted with the fact that my mother has been completely, irrevocably brainwashed - by the Mormon church, my dad (who dragged us all into it and later became severely disabled so that she was housebound with him for five years), Rush Limbaugh and his pukey Limbaugh Letter, and now Fox News (her companion in widowhood). She is now such a stark raving wingnut that it's difficult to talk to her about the most mundane of things without her launching into some insane, shocking rant about something. Very little of what she says even makes sense anymore. She's unreachable, and my guess is so are your in-laws.

The thing is, even if it is some freaky-effing-koolaid-drinking Jonestown mind control, accurate information is all around them and they choose to ignore it. I understand your concern about being bilked out of their savings - my mother sends money to various right-wing outfits, too, and it wouldn't surprise me to learn it's more than she can afford. I don't know if she pays tithing to the church and don't really want to. Because she's also been obsessed with death since my dad died, she has her affairs in order - barring disaster.

She buys canned goods, too, and occasionally sends them to me and my brother - because President Hinckley (who's about a hundred years old) says things are going to get really bad. But hey, George Wonderful Goodpersonbush is on the job, trying to fix everything ... or maybe just stave off the inevitable. Who knows, who cares. It's ridiculous, and I'm sick of it.

If I were you, I'd just keep expressing my opinion when the subject comes up and hope that your husband and his siblings will intervene. Or maybe your father-in-law's near-death episode will wear off and he'll become disillusioned.

[grace0418]

23. I'm sorry you have to deal with that

It sounds awful. I guess until last night I was okay with letting them have their little obsession, but now I'm scared they are going to be convinced to DO something. I don't know what that would be but it scares me.

[neebob]

25. Well, if they go to the Vatican

they're not likely to get too close, so that's probably harmless. But why did you mention sacrificing one of your nieces?

Thanks for the sympathy about my mom. The thing I'm most upset about is the loss of the relationship we're NOT having because of her bullshit. I also think people have a responsibility to their children, and those who join cults and act like nutcases - including my mother - are shirking that responsibility.

[grace0418]

26. Well, I'm kidding, sorta...

I just am having trouble imagining the scenarios that might happen. But if this person or group has control of my in-law's minds the way it seems, there's no telling what they might convince them to do. Maybe they'll disown their children, maybe they'll commit suicide, maybe they'll be convinced to rid somebody of the devil in a most horrible way. I just don't know, and it scares me.

[SharonAnn]

27. I seem to remember s study that said the most contributions to

TV evangelists can from women who were an average age of 72 and very low income. I think it was an income near the poverty line.

[mandyky]

28. Another variation on "the end of the world"

My SO just told melast night that there is another theory going around. Apparently after JP, there is room for only 2 more pictures of former Popes (I guess they keep them all in the same room at the vatican) after they put up John Paul's and when they run out of room -whala! Amegedon...

Weird stuff!

[barb162]

29. May I ask a question? Do they attend a "regular" Catholic

church? You might want to suggest they talk to the pastor there and maybe he can straighten them out.

[grace0418]

30. No, they stopped attending regular mass a

few years ago. They think that the standard-issue Catholic priest is not hard-core enough. I'm sure whoever is feeding them all this bullshit is convincing them not to listen to a "regular" Catholic priest if he tries to talk some sense into them.

[barb162]

31. okay how long are they going to be in the Phillippines? Remember

in 2000 when a lot of people thought the electricty was going to go out as the computers couldn't deal with the turnover from 19 to 20(00). I actually heard of people in this country stocking up on cans of food and water and fleeing into the mountains to wait it out. Then nothin' happened. CLICK! Could one of the family members calmly ask what the timeframe is for this end of the world stuff. Once they give a date and nothing happens then they know they've been had and can get a reality check. I am also hoping when they go to the Phillippines, I presume visiting relatives, they will be told they are wrong.

[grace0418]

32. They're only going for two weeks

It's for my mother-in-law's class reunion. I hope someone can knock some sense into them but I'm not terribly confident.

[noamnety]

33. Interesting beliefs

"He then proceeded to tell us that the death of Pope John Paul II meant the end of the world. He produced some literature explaining that the papacy, upon the death of the current pope, would be taken over by the anti-christ and the world would end."

One could interpret that to mean that forces which are completely corrupt would take over the vatican. That doesn't seem so far-fetched to me. Nor does it seem far-fetched to believe that the hunger for power has corrupted the ability of priests or the traditional catholic church to do what's morally right - as opposed to making decisions based on what keeps them in power.

You could probably have some really interesting conversations with them about those aspects of the catholic church itself, and about the death of Pope John Paul (I), and about Ralph Reed, Falwell, etc.

They aren't going to listen to you unless you find some common ground, and even then they might not listen to you. But finding the common ground could be really interesting and eye-opening, in and of itself.

[elehhhhna]

34. No--theres' a Catholic Prophecy I read about--

after this pope there are any NUMBER Of them, maybe none, mabe 100, THEN comes the prophecied (?) last pope--then BOOM BOOM BYE Bye. Even if they buy this crap they've got their popes mixed up. Lemme find a link --

HERE YA GO: St. Malachy (st. Malarkey?!!) Interesting stuff...

http://www.catholic-pages.com/grabbag/malachy.asp

[seventythree]

36. I was going to post the same thing

we've got at least one more Pope before all hell breaks loose -- take the parents the St.'s prophecies and tell them to chill out -- of course, if we get another short lived Pope, we'll all be freakin'.

[LibraLiz1973]

35. What exactly did your husband say after seeing that?

If he thinks YOUR the one thats whacked out & that being on D.U. makes you a conspiracy theorist I have to ask if HE is worth keeping. Theres making excuses for someone behavior, enabling it or just ignoring it. His parents prophesizng the end of days IS nuts. Your saying he wasn't worried sick about that?

The scariest part about your whole story was the lack of reaction by your husband & the siblings. You don't have kids with him so maybe you should ask yourself if someone who can completely ignore someone (in this case 2 people) so close to him in need of help.


Just so you know, I'm not trying to be mean. Just answering your post with concern for you.

[grace0418]

37. Thanks, I know you're not trying to be mean

My husband is a good guy, he's just wary of anything on any side of the spectrum. And to be fair to him, his parents probably wouldn't listen to him. His oldest brother is the only one with any sway over the parents, and he's a tough nut to crack.

Mostly, I guess I was hoping someone here has had experience with this sort of thing and I was wondering what they did.

[bleedingheart]

38. Funny how if the parents were being bilked by Publishers Clearinghouse

everyone would be interested in getting your in-laws help.

BUT...when religion bilks you out of money...then everyone gets quiet....

You in-laws are victims of some sort of scheme...I say get a Catholic priest from a regular church to intervene...have that priest try and help identify what is going on ...

There are normal, nice priests who will gladly help your in-laws...cuz stuff like they are involved in gives all religion a bad name...

[LibraLiz1973]

40. Your right about that

it is the dirty little secret no one talks about.

Even saying "my family member" is in a religous cult would be very difficult in this society.

[cheezus]

39. GET HIM ON VIDEO :re end of the world

then show it to him a year from now

[grace0418]

41. They have selective memory about these things

They told us the world was going to end at the year 2000. Oops.