Rapture Day - a new holiday

[LiberalEsto]

I noticed on another post that Falwell and his freaks are "fighting for their holy day".

Well, instead of allowing them to screw up Christmas, which is after all a pagan holiday, why don't we give the Religious Righties their own holiday: Rapture Day?

They could celebrate with hellfire sermons and prayers and whatever they want. They could talk in tongues, handle snakes, fast, abstain and scare the bejazus out of their kids. They could wear out their knees praying, and wait for the Rapture.

There would be no ads, no sales, no commercials, no holiday movies or tv specials, no Martha Stewart gilded acorn wreaths, and no presents.

The rest of us could laze around and have an extra holiday. And we would feel the rapture of knowing we didn't have to participate in it, and enjoy our day off.

It doesn't even have to be in December -- maybe they could take August since there are no federal holidays that month.

[BobBoudelangFan69]

1. Oh Praise Thee Oh Might Buck. Got'ta Have A Cash Business Plan.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

2. And we could add another

needed holiday: Tolerance Day! Where we all learn about different faiths and cultures and celebrate diversity here on our earth.

[LiberalEsto]

4. You are so right!

That is a wonderful idea. In fact it would make an excellent replacement for Columbus Day, which, though not a federal holiday, is celebrated in some states.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

8. It is a perfect replacement for Columbus Day

[peacetalksforall]

3. Ya gotta know that the day they pick will have all kinds of biblical

stuff connected to it and they might just celebrate it from Israel with telecasts.

[redwitch]

5. And if we're real lucky they WILL get raptured

and we could all breathe a sigh of relief!

[NanceGreggs]

7. A-fuckin'-men!

[catmother]

27. my sister just said it better than i could. n/t

[TallahasseeGrannie]

11. Now wait a minute here

Let's look at this issue analytically. If I wake up in the morning and find a lot of piles of clothes all around me, empty cars on the highway and all that...

well, I'm going to be saying, "uh-oh" very quietly and walking into the house and closing the door, where I will sit on the couch and think "oh, man! I am so screwed!"

[LiberalEsto]

12. No, you won't be screwed.

You'll be with all the rest of us cool folks. And we'll celebrate!

My dear departed mother used to say if she had a choice, she'd choose hell, because all the interesting people would be there.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

14. But there's no AC in hell

but I guess I'll have a lot of company to sweat with!

[HeeBGBz]

13. Look on the bright side

You won't be having to spend eternity with the likes of Falwell, Robertson, and the God Warrior Lady.

It'll be kind of an inverse hell.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

15. If Falwell and Robertson end up in "heaven"

then I know there is a serious problem with the Cosmic Courts. God is going to be very angry that they portrayed him as such a putz with the population on earth.

[KarenS]

6. I want it to be tomorrow for them

:eyes:

Rapture Day

[nickyt]

9. Dahlink, you are a GENIUS! I love this! One problem though -

no profit involved, no shit being sold? They ain't going for it. No way. Oh, I watched some Jim Bakker last week at my sister's house (just for laughs) - he was sellin' enough crap to load a pickup, all for Christmas. And any xian site you cruise offers loads of crap for sale. Somebody's makin' a serious bundle on this deal, for real.

[LiberalEsto]

10. Well, if they want to sell stuff they can:

bibles, crucifixes, snakes, books about the Rapture, bumper stickers about their cars being unmanned, whatever they want. And different factions can fight over the RIGHT way to celebrate it. Oh, what fun to watch!

[nickyt]

18. Okay. Let's get this party started. I've got over 400 xian email ad-

dresses now, due to obsessive preoccupation w/sending out the Scanlon memo. Write me up a little memo about "Rapture Day", and I'll send that out as well. Let's get a grass-roots movement going. I'm totally not kidding! Hellfire, they would deeply appreciate having more crap to sell! WAIT!! How do WE get a cut of the marketing deal?! Liberal, you're the genius here - just cut me in for 5% of the gross, I'll work endlessly to get this thing going. I have no brains, no capital to invest, but I am hard workin' and rowdy enough to work at this. Seriously, this could be a sweet little money-maker! I'm unemployed! Let's start our own xian movement!
Okay, 3%! Talk to me!

[LiberalEsto]

22. You can have it all, the profits & glory.

Go for it!

[nickyt]

24. Ha ha! Thanks! I'm going to run this by my brother (he's a genius, too)

and think up how to word an "announcement" and send it out - would it not be a scream to start hearing rumors about "Rapture Day" from the fundie folk!? What fun!

[LiberalEsto]

25. Just send really pious. mealmouthed emails to Falwell

and Robertson, suggesting that true X-tians set aside their very own special day to counteract the pagan excess of Christmas....


Ooooooh, I can't WAIT!

[longship]

16. On the same day as "Rapture Day"

I want to celebrate, "Can I Have Your Car Day". Unfortunately, there will be very few Priuses available (is the plural of Prius Prii?).

[Amish_Pimp]

17. "Rapture Day - a new holiday"

Oh yeah..acknowledge the idiots and give credence to the christian lie..
whatever else could satisfy those who have no mental capacity but to get hung up on a messiah and his/her way..
haleluja..I can't even see the bible without glasses and Bush sees God..

[newyawker99]

19. Hi Amish_Pimp!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[Dr. Death]

20. I'm all for them handling snakes...

...especially if we can import some of those real deadly Australian types!

[LiberalEsto]

23. Cobras, puff adders, copperheads

whatever they want!

[karlrschneider]

26. I can donate some snakes...we have moccasins, copperheads &

rattlesnakes around here. :D

[LiberalEsto]

29. Instead of Santa's reindeer

we could have 8 snakes pulling the Rapture Day sleigh.

"On Hisser and Biter, on Rattler and Scaly!
On Fang, on Fork-Tongue, On Venom and Cheney!"

[ComerPerro]

21. I've got an idea that would make Rapture Day just fantastic

All the "Christians" stay home all day and don't interact without anyone outside their houses. Not even a phone call or internet activity. Nothing that can affect the outside world.

That way, to the outside world, it would seem as though they were actually "Raptured".

What a glorious day that would be.

I'd even take the day off, so I could walk and drive around without all those idiots in my way.

[annabanana]

28. I will cheerfully celebrate the ANNIVERSARY of

Rapture Day. I will celebrate it yearly, as soon as it happens.