Hundreds attend Dungy's funeral.. Are you Outraged?

[wiley]

I wonder what, "Momma's Boy" is code for. " Be more like Football Players?"

"Hundreds attend Dungy's funeral
http://www.cnn.com
NFL stars, friends pay respect to Colts coach and son

Posted: Tuesday December 27, 2005 11:48AM; Updated: Tuesday December 27, 2005 8:02PM
LUTZ, Fla. (AP) -- Tony Dungy blinked back tears, straining to compose himself.
"Parents hug your kids every chance you get," he said. "Tell them you love them every chance you get because you don't know when it's going to be the last time."

The Indianapolis Colts coach buried his eldest son, James, on Tuesday, lovingly recalling the 18-year-old who died in an apparent suicide last week as a "mama's boy" with a "compassionate heart." Someone who loved to smile and have fun.
Dungy spoke for nearly 20 minutes during an emotional two-hour funeral service attended by NFL stars, past and present, league officials, including commissioner Paul Tagliabue, the entire Colts team and four other NFL head coaches -- Herman Edwards, Dennis Green, Lovie Smith and Jack Del Rio -- along with University of Washington coach Ty Willingham.
Hall of Famer Mean Joe Greene and ex-Washington Redskins cornerback Darrell Green were also among the 2,000 mourners who came to Idlewild Baptist Church in this Tampa suburb.

Dungy dabbed away tears at times, but his message throughout was clear: His son was a "sweet young boy" who struggled with many of the same issues as others his age.

"As he got a little older, like all teenagers, he was searching for who that person was inside of him. Who he was going to be. ... And like most of us, I think he went through a time as a teenager that he wasn't sure his parents always had the best advice. He wasn't sure that we always had his best interest at heart," the coach said."


lots more that is really unbelievable.

[wndycty]

1. And we should be outraged because????

n/t

[rpannier]

46. That was my thought

Why should we be outraged? Tony Dungy's son died. Lots of people associated with the Colts and pro football attended.

[msongs]

I'll always love my mama, she's my favorite girl - intruders nt

[MrSlayer]

2. What is there to be outraged about?

The Dungy family suffered a tragedy and a lot of people showed up in support. I'm not seeing what there is to be outraged about.

[Dinger]

6. He And His Family Are In My Thoughts

I have had a close family member commit suicide. The Dungy Family has my prayers too.

[Roland99]

3. WTF are you talking about? Have I missed something there?

What's with the anger?

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[CatWoman]

8. HEZBOLLAH!!!!!!!

:nuke:

[bbinacan]

14. I hope that was sarcasm. n/t

[ClusterFreak]

38. Puh-leeze.

Get a grip.

[Captain Hilts]

5. By all accounts Dungy is devoted to his family.

His son often was on the sidelines.

No outrage here.

[babylonsister]

7. Don't you dare disparage Coach Dungy, his family,

his team, his loss, or commitment, or his tremendous grief.

[bbinacan]

9. WTF?

what should outrage me?:shrug:

[liveoaktx]

10. Why? Tony Dungey is a great coach and I"m sorry for his loss

[tyedyeto]

11. I see it as a ...Dad wasn't around because he was more concerned

about a bunch of football players instead of his own son.

[RagingInMiami]

16. And that's what drove his son to suicide?

We have the beginnings of a Lifetime movie here.

[seabeyond]

19. wow, pretty heavy duty judgment without knowing shit. wow n/t

[tyedyeto]

25. I agree...I don't know shit but I've also known teenagers who...

feel like their parents don't give a shit about them. When something else consumes a parent's life ie. football, then they strike out in whatever way they feel will get that parent's attention. It's so sad when that has to happen after a life has been taken away.

[seabeyond]

31. i also know it is fairly common for a teenager to feel they aren't loved

by their parents and it is totally not true. it is the whole teenager thing. not to mention all the pressure a lot of teenagers put on themselves that has nothing to do with parents. regardless, not knowing the situation i would never make an insensitive allegation like yours. further, even if the man messed up i wouldn't make that comment knowing the man will suffer all his life, and for me, that is not a good thing. no one deserves that pain. i would wish it on no one. and i certainly wouldn't aggravate it

[malaise]

42. I also have the example of my sister

who sacrificed her profession while her boys were young, who along with her husband have always been there for them for basketball and soccer and every other interest they demonstrated. They even sent them to private catholic school and gave up more than a few holidays and other things they wanted so they could have an easier life. And you know what - they take and take and take and are totally preoccupied with themselves. And yes they both take their parents for granted.

I only know one thing - parents are damned if they do and damned if they don't. If the kids turn out to be loving, caring and interested in more than themselves just give thanks.

[Dorian Gray]

51. My thoughts, exactly, Seabeyond.

This man lost his son in the most tragic of circumstances, and we have someone who wants us to be "outraged" about the funeral? My thoughts and prayers are with the Dungys. His son's death is horrific.

[marylanddem]

21. His parents aren't to blame.

Depression - whether situational or chronic (i.e., bipolar) is most likely what defeated him. It can be managed with medicine but kids around the coach's sons age may have difficulty with that fact, and the drugs can be hard to manage. Anyway, please don't blame his poor parents - they are probably blaming themselves mercilessly.

[TomInTib]

12. Where are you going here? Not a GLBT issue. The kid killed..

himself after a row with his girlfriend. At one in the morning. One of those teenage drugs/alcohol fight, girl storms out of the apartment, kid says, "I'll show her ass". End of story.

I don't mean to sound crass but that's apparently how it went down.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

13. Only Outraged At Wasting My Time Reading All Of That Just To Find Nothing

offensive whatsosever.

Ok ok, maybe not outraged, just a teenie bit annoyed.

Actually, Not really annoyed either. More like indifferent.

Ummm, well if I was indifferent I probably just wouldn't have responded at all.

Oh, I got it, I'm lightheartedly sarcastically momentarily annoyed.

Yeah, that's it. Ok, poof.... I'm gone.

[RagingInMiami]

15. Dungy is a grieving father

And you want us to be outraged for calling his son a "mama's boy"?

Perhaps Dungy was remembering his son as a child and how he clung to his mother when he was scared.

Perpaps Dungy was trying to show the world how his son really was, just a soft-hearted kid, rather than the image he portrayed of himself on www.myspace.com.

[marylanddem]

17. My son attempted suicide and failed...

My heart goes out to Coach Dungy and his family. Depression - whether chronic or situational - can be a killer and it is no one's fault, it is biochemical. It can be treated.

[seabeyond]

20. it is a scary. i am glad your son wasnt successful

and assuming he got the help he needed. it is so prevelent in our young. never..... would i point a finger. a person doesnt know what they are talking about if they point a finger.

[marylanddem]

23. Thanks - he is managing well but it is a day to day challenge.

bipolar disorder can be a lifelong challenge to cope with. Young people - and who doesn't - may struggle with the idea that they need to take prescription drugs, possibly for a lifetime. Perhaps the coach's son was dealing with this. I think bipolar (manic depression) has either a 16 % suicide attempt rate or 16% suicide rate.

[seabeyond]

34. i know bi polar. such highs and such lows

my mom committed suicide. i am at peace with it. but it is a huge lesson, huge.

[marylanddem]

40. Losing your mother to suicide must have been very hard for you.

It sounds like you're doing well. If you ever feel you need or want to understand more about mental illnesses, I've learned a lot about bipolar disorder through the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) - a grassroots organization which has
chapters all over the country. Too much stigma, too little compassion & knowledge where these illnesses are concerned.

[madfloridian]

18. I love the Dungy family, they are a class act. Not sure about this post.

.

[EC]

22. Okay, was he saying what I think he was?

"I want to urge you to continue being who you are because our young boys in this country, they need to hear from you," he said. "If anything, be bolder in who you are. Because our boys are getting a lot of the wrong messages about what it means to be a man in this world. About how you should act, and how you should dress, and how you should talk, and how you should treat people. They don't always get the right message, but you guys have the right messages."




Was he forcing his son into the closet?

[wndycty]

30. Well you can be paranoid and believe that. . .

. . .or you can look at it from the perspective of the father of son who got caught up in drugs (I think he had a myspace profile with marijuana and guns on it) and other unsavory behavior, none of which has to do with homosexuality. These implications are reckless and irresponsible.

[bbinacan]

32. Do you have a link? Thanks n/t

[wiley]

52. Sorry to be away from the computer for a moment

But that's what I read into the several articles I've read. What wrong message was the kid's father saying he was getting?

[maveric]

24. I'm not sure what your point is. Outrage? WTF?

Seeing that I'm not the only one here that is confused by your post... could you please clarify what you see as "outrage"?

[DS1]

26. This thread is bullshit

.

[uppityperson]

27. I am outraged that your link just goes to CNN home page

What more is unbelievable?

[newscott]

28. I'm a moma's boy and I love football. I don't get your assertion.

[journalist3072]

29. So I'm not understanding....what is the outrage here?

What is the issue?

Are you upset b/c Tony Dungy called his son a "Momma's boy?"

What's wrong with that?

[Berry Cool]

35. Maybe all it means is, he loved his mom!

And why on earth should anyone be outraged that hundreds of people showed up to help and grieve with a bereaved family suffering possibly the most painful thing in the world...losing a child...especially a child who chose to take his own life?

When could a person possibly need MORE support? When could it possibly be harder to know how to say and do the right thing...yet so many people did it anyway. Hats off to them.

And for the record, what I've been reading is that this was one football coach who was known for his closeness to his family and for the fact that he made a point of NOT allowing his career to distance him from them or cause him not to spend sufficient time with them.

So maybe the kid was very religious. Why should one automatically then assume that he's a "freeper" and therefore his life was worthless and not deserving of grief in its loss?

John Donne: Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

[journalist3072]

45. Exactly right! I love my people here on DU, but honestly..

sometimes they make an issue out of a non-issue.

[H2O Man]

33. Outraged at insensitive nonsense. n/t

[Judi Lynn]

36. I found the article, and here's some of the father's remarks:

Dungy dabbed away tears at times, but his message throughout was clear: His son was a "sweet young boy" who struggled with many of the same issues as others his age.

"As he got a little older, like all teenagers, he was searching for who that person was inside of him. Who he was going to be. ... And like most of us, I think he went through a time as a teenager that he wasn't sure his parents always had the best advice. He wasn't sure that we always had his best interest at heart," the coach said.

"My daughter Tiara said it best the other day. She said: `I just wish he could have made it until he was 20. Because when you're 17 or 18, sometimes the things you guys say to us don't always make sense. ... When I got to 20, they started making sense again."'
(snip/...)

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/football/nfl/12/27/bc.fbn.dungy.sson.ap/?cnn=yes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, yeah. Read the article and I'm fit to be tied. Why, I've never been so steamed. :sarcasm:

I'm not sure what kind of personality gets mad that hundreds of people attended this funeral. What would you recommend? They should put the body in an old car and push it into a lake?

The father is a fine, fine man. Undoubtedly his entire family is terrific, too, including the son who was overwhelmed by life for a moment. People who have never been deeply depressed and frightened are simply too shallow for words. Or they are Republicans.

[ClusterFreak]

37. What the fuck are you talking about???

Outraged....by what exactly? :shrug:

[Roland99]

39. Notice the OP is absent and not responding to any questions?

I say, lock this thread.

[seabeyond]

59. self deleted n/t

[kstewart33]

41. Outraged? More like deep sorrow

over his loss. To lose a child, I can't imagine anything worse on this earth.

When I first heard the news, I immediately wondered if he was bi-polar which another poster has commented on.

[Nicole]

43. Outraged? No...Confused? Yes

Mama's boy could mean he was very close to his mother. I was a daddy's girl myself. I see nothing wrong with either one.

[malaise]

48. Mama's boy is quite a compliment n/t

[Nicole]

50. I would definitely consider it one n/t

[Punkingal]

44. Nothing to be outraged about....

This is a father speaking to the pain and guilt (and I understand relatives of suicide victims always feel guilty, whether it is warranted or not) of losing a child to suicide. I have never heard anyone say anything bad about Mr. Dungy...from what I have heard he is respected by everyone in professional football. This is just a tragedy, and I am so sorry for that family, and for the pain that will never leave them.

[LittleClarkie]

47. I refuse to pick apart the words of a grieving father

I'm a "daddy's girl". It probably means nothing more than that the boy was closer to his mom.

[wiley]

55. So what does this mean?

So what does this mean?

"As he got a little older, like all teenagers, he was searching for who that person was inside of him. Who he was going to be. ... And like most of us, I think he went through a time as a teenager that he wasn't sure his parents always had the best advice. He wasn't sure that we always had his best interest at heart," the coach said."

[tammywammy]

56. Well, I think it means

that teenagers don't always believe their parents know what's right. Period. I know when I was a teenager I didn't believe my parents all the time, and in hindsight, they gave me good advice on life.

I don't see anything sinister with any of this.

[wiley]

62. And the sister verified that he probably didn't understand this advice

Sorry to upset anyone, but I was really stunned when I read the article. It seemed like a prodding innuendo laden piece of really insensitive and provocative journalism. Maybe I misread the entire article incorrectly.

[seabeyond]

67. well wiley....... i understand your quandry right now, but......

people tend to give people who just lost a son to suicide a huge grace area. i know after my mom died i behaved stupidly in some things, and said a couple stupid things..... i felt i was in another world. it was odd, just odd. i cringe when i think of a couple of the things and i hope people just understand it is the shock factor.

but i understand where you are coming from

[wiley]

71. Thanks

I really feel that they had no right to write those things. And I don't think that they would have done it if Dungy and family were not so well loved, and well known.

[seabeyond]

75. i saw your posts below. i see what you are saying. n.t

[uppityperson]

79. the price of fame is you get reported on

who is Dungy?

[tammywammy]

72. Well, I reread what the quote said

including the reference to the sister.

I'm still coming away with the same idea. The sister said that she didn't truly understand her parents advice until she was 20, and then things became clearer. I know that was true for me. When I was a teenager, esp when I was in my late teens, the last thing I wanted to do was what my parents said. But when I was around 20ish, I started to realize that they were right on a lot of stuff.

I think you're reading into this waaaay too much.

edited to add: okay, now I get what you're saying from reading your other posts.

[LittleClarkie]

58. He committed suicide. I think his father was just trying to come to grips

with exactly why his oldest son killed himself.

Cut the guy a break, will ya!

[uppityperson]

78. sounds like a good handle on a teenager

how I was and how my teen is now.

[Dinger]

49. wiley, Will You Please Explain Why We Should Be Outraged?

I don't see any responses by you in this thread. It's confusing to me.

[wiley]

53. See #52

I'm outraged that Sports Illustrated printed any of this.

[Dinger]

65. Sorry, # 52 And This Post Is Of NO Help In Answering My Question

[ClusterFreak]

54. I think what we have here is wiley's version of a smash 'n grab....

....drop a load of flame-bait, and then hightail it. Sit back and watch the fireworks. Scuse my series of mixed metaphors!!

[Redstone]

61. You're right, CLS, unfortunately.

That's exactly what we're seeing. And, just possibly, we're seeing a troll emerge from under the bridge.

But that's just my opinion.

Redstone

[ClusterFreak]

66. Yep....

...we're bein' messed with.

[Redstone]

70. Yup, and I have to alert on this one.

Obvious disruption.

Redstone

[Berry Cool]

63. I guess so, but so long as I live I will never understand why people do it

Why be a troll? Is a person so pathetic that this is the only way he can get attention? And doesn't that rank a person right down there with the people who chant "God hates fags" at the funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq?

I mean, isn't the point essentially the same...to get attention via being a complete you-know-what?

[Name removed]

57. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Dinger]

64. Whoa Redstone!

Good job:)

[Redstone]

68. Thank you.

Fuck ANYONE who presumes to make judgement on anyone else's personal pain.

Redstone

[wiley]

69. Try reading the article

I didn't write it. I just thought it said things and constructed them in a way to imply some inside track on thiings no reporter could possibly have. Like I said, sorry if I offended anyone or misread the article or it's intentions.

[Redstone]

77. Don't tell me to read any article. Don't issue me ANY orders.

You do NOT have the right to question a family's pain upon the loss of a family member. Didn't your parents raise you any better than that?

And the word you're looking for is "construed," not "constructed."

You know, Mr Wiley, there are a whole bunch of things going on in this world that deserve our outrage, but a family funeral isn't one of them.

You need some perspective. And you need it sooner, rather than later.

On edit, to add: If one of YOUR children died, would you watch every single word you, or anyone else at the funeral said, just to make sure that some asshole wouldn't make a post about how "outraged" he was, on some Internet discussion group?

Leave that family alone with their grief. It's none of your business.

Redstone

[Maru Kitteh]

73. I second your sentiment

and then some. Thanks for saying it for us.

[Obamarama]

60. This has to be one of the most "WTF" posts I have ever seen on DU...

[uppityperson]

74. Sounds like a loving eulogy by a grieving father. No outrage here.

[Book Lover]

76. You are obligated to interpret the words of a grieving parent

with more than a little compassion.

[rasputin1952]

80. Locking

Many of us feel differently about a tragic loss of a child.
It makes little difference who that child is, or what their status is in life.

Irregardless of how we feel individually about this death, it is still a death of a loved one and should be seen as such.

Thank you for your understanding.