My neighbor's marrying a box turtle. What gift should I buy?

[Sabriel]

I mean, should I get something useful, like a kitchen appliance, or should I go the more artsy route and get them a little glass insect paperweight? I'm really torn.

And my friend's thinking of popping the question to his chinchilla. Does he really need to spend three months' income on a ring for a rodent, or can he do something a little cheaper?

[Fenris]

1. Shell glue

Believe me. One night of passion can turn into a nightmare in an instant.

[Gothic Sponge]

2. I want to marry a tree!

See what happens when those damn gays marry! ;)

[Webster Green]

3. Sunglasses

Turtles need 'em

[No2W2004]

4. leafy green veggies?

[Kool Kitty]

5. Now, really-I would think this is a no-brainer.

Turtle Wax, of course.

Re: The ring for the chinchilla. You can go cheaper. Chinchillas are really not all that materialistic. They are mostly just looking for true love.

[Skittles]

6. your friend can't spend less money on a rat

that's just cheesy. :D

[JohnnyRingo]

7. now THAT'S funny

I'll be using that joke, somehow, tomorrow

[AlCzervik]

8. One of those plastic palm trees for her tank

and maybe some nice wine, it might help her come out of her shell.