I wasn't able to eat lunch until 3 p.m.

[CatWoman]

and I had some leftover baked beans.

While in the break room warming them up, a coworker noted what I was heating and forwarded me this email:

Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She
loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and
somewhat lively reaction to her.

Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent that
they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he
would never go for this carrying on." She made the supreme sacrifice and gave
up beans.

Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she
lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late
because she had to walk home.

On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was
more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that
she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she
stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of
baked beans.

All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably
sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and
exclaimed delightedly,

"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated
herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the
telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.
He then went to answer the telephone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure
was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she
seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not
only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her
vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
reminded her of cooked cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on
like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the end
of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed
it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She
was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for
taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were
twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a
"Happy Birthday"!!!