Favorite Homer Simpson Quote?

[elperromagico]

Mine is, "Uhh, yeah, I was at the flower shop too! Yep, gettin' drunk at the old flower shop!"

[tridim]

1. "Mmmm... Various eggs"

That's not really my favorite, but I laugh every time I hear it.

How about.. "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems"

[Deja Q]

2. "D'oh!"

:D

[SmileyBoy]

3. When Homer crashed his car into Marge's in a blizzard:

Insurance guy: "Now before I give you the cheque, I just need to be clear on one thing. This 'Moe's' you came home from, is this a business of some sort??"

Homer's Brain: "Don't tell him you were at a bar... Ohhhh, but what else is open this late at night???"

Homer: "I was at a pornography store. I was buying pornography."

Homer's Brain: "Swish!!"

[Ruffhowse]

4. "Who needs new bands anymore, Rock and Roll achieved a state of

perfection in 1974, it's a known scientific fact!"

[Wilber_Stool]

5. A wise man

fights his battles with pointed words. Sorry, sticks. Pointed sticks.

[atommom]

6. "Aw, honey, just cause I don't CARE doesn't mean I don't UNDERSTAND!"

And also...

"I would kill everyone in this room for one drop of sweet beer."

[ET Awful]

7. All right brain,

you don't like me and I don't like you, so let's just do this thing and I'll go back to killing you with beer.”

[jpgray]

8. Mmm, sixty-four slices of american cheese

:D

[BlackVelvetElvis]

31. "Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese?"

"I think I'm blind."

That whole scene makes me squeal.

[Mrs_Beastman]

9. Bart to Homer

'April.....'

Bart plays a April Fool's joke on Homer. Shakes a can of beer in a paint mixer. Bart ends up blowing up the house and Homer ends up in a coma. .....I was in tears

[gollygee]

10. His answer when Bart asked what religion they were.

"You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work in real life -- uh, Christianity."

[WilliamPitt]

11. LOOK HOW LOUD I HAVE TO YELL!!!!

[Dukkha]

12. "Remember when I took that home wine making course...

...and I forgot how to drive"

Marge: "that's because you were drunk"

Homer: "And how!"

[Ruffhowse]

13. "Mmmmm, donuts, is there anything they can't do?"

[eyesroll]

14. (Don't say you were at a bar)

"I was at a pornography store. I was buying pornograpy."

On edit: Looks like I duped someone already. 'Tis well.

I also like many of the variations of "mmm, donuts."
"Mmm, something" and "mmm, free goo" also work.

[ajacobson]

15. Give Me FUGU

:-)

[happyasaclam]

16. So many to choose from....

A couple of my personal favourites....

Homer Simpson to Martin.. "HOMEWRECKER!"

Homer Simpson "You know me Marge. I Like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaammmiinngggg"

[AngryAmish]

17. Take your rage and press it into a small little ball.

Then push it way deep inside. And let it out at an appropriate time - like that time Daddy hit the referee with the whisky bottle. Remember that, sweetie, remember? Yeah.

[Magrittes Pipe]

18. Marge, my friend -- I haven't learned a thing.

[peekaloo]

19. Oooohhh I'ma rage-aholic, I can't live without rage-ahol.

[scarlet_owl]

20. "Florida! But that's America's wang!"

[UpsideDownFlag]

21. "SAVE ME JEEBUS! Homer to Jeebus, come in Jeebus??"

[ellie]

22. They have the Internet on computers now!

[elperromagico]

24. Is your avatar Lead Belly?

I can't tell.

[ellie]

35. Yes, I didn't do a very good job on it though.

[DerekG]

23. "I call the big one, Bitey."

From Marge vs. the Monorail

[Zech Marquis]

25. easy..

Homer singing "Nacho Man" :bounce:

[Ohio Dem]

26. At the Post Office

Homer: My name is Mr. Burns

Postal Worker: What is your first name?

Homer: I don't know.

[truthbetold]

27. Haha, this one's the best.

Mr. Burns wants Homer to get off his property, so Homer says:
"Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?"

[stranger_with_candy]

28. "purple is a fruit"

[kodi]

29. I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.

i stole that and used it at a meeting a few months ago. only one person got it.

[Baclava]

30. Lots...

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get." - Homer Simpson.

"What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."

"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."

“Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.”

"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

[drhilarius]

32. "I held my breath until I passed out and hit my head on a table...

...the doctors said I might have brain damage.

Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?

Homer: I like stories.

[short bus driver]

33. Honey, vampires are just magical creatures. . .

. . .like leprechauns and dragons and Eskimos.

[bookfreak]

34. "He didn't give you gay, did he?"