the Paranoia Thread : Post here at your own risk

[sus]

Don't you think it's a little strange that this thread was started TODAY, if you know what I mean.

[mrboba1]

1. I do.

I know what you mean. September 3, 2004. Just look at all the "coincidences".

**looking over shoulder**
:tinfoilhat:

[sus]

I heard that.

No need to play innocent with me, mrboba1, I know you know what I know.

[mrboba1]

5. I know you know I know what you know.

That's how I know you know I know what you know I know.

[mrboba1]

11. that word looks really weird that many times in a sentence

you know?

:crazy:

[sus]

24. why are you asking me if I know when you KNOW that I know?

I am onto your sick, psychological ways.

[mrboba1]

44. But, but....

I didn't ask you anything....................

:scared:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

2. Sus, you shouldn't have worn THAT today.

[sus]

4. Well, Ted (if that's you're REAL name..)

I can't say WHY I wore this today for obvious reasons.

But it's big.

Bigger than ALL of us.

Real big. Huge. Enormously big and huge.

And it's gaining on us.

[mrboba1]

8. Who's Ted?

And what does he know?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

9. (makes inaudible cellphone call)

Great. Just stay right there, Sus. I'll be right back.

[sus]

15. OHMYGOD I'VE BEEN BREACHED! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

Ack.

Thud.

Ted killed me! That bastard!

[mrboba1]

19. DAMMIT! WHO'S TED!?

WHAT DOES HE KNOW!??!?

*huddled & crying in corner*

[Screaming Lord Byron]

20. There is no Ted.

Bob sees all.

(skaeP niwT ni frawd ypreec eht ekil sdrawkcab gniklat strats)

[mrboba1]

25. How did you know my name?

TELL ME!!!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

29. It's all in the code, Bob.

edoc eht ni lla s'tI

[mrboba1]

35. Oh yeah?

!liaverp lliw I !edoc ruoy nekorb evah I

[Screaming Lord Byron]

37. !elbakaerbnu si edoc sihT. !esnesnoN

[mrboba1]

43. aaargh! I thought I had it!

Did you open my drink?

:scared:

[sus]

28. Subliminal messages! They said this would happen.

These are just subliminal messages designed to confuse me, I must resist.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

33. sus,elituf si ecnatsiser

[sus]

36. BeeGees, album 2, track 9. Got it.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

38. The red calf volleys under the pink moon.

[sus]

42. I wouldn't be saying that too loudly if I were you.

you know why, don't you....

[SotarrTheWizard]

10. . . . The Illuminati want you to think that. . .

. . . while they quietly take over in an entirely different fashion.

FNORD!

[BootinUp]

3. *whispers* what was that!

:silly:

[Lavender Brown]

6. I feel like the cat in your avatar is watching me

[mrboba1]

16. I feel like your woman avatar

won't look me in the eyes!

[LynneSin]

21. I really think that Kerry & Clinton in your avatar are staring at me

:scared:

[mrboba1]

27. Where did you come from?

Do you know who Ted is?

[sus]

34. you don't want to know, son....

you. don't. want. to. know....

:scared:

[Lavender Brown]

23. Don't try to look in Jane Austen's eyes

Don't you know what will happen? :scared:

[mrboba1]

49. no, what?

WHAT!?

[Kid_A]

7. Oh shit! I haven't bought a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" today!

I need to go do that! OH NO! The beer bottle on my doorknob is moving!

PATRICK STEWART IS COMING TO KILL ME!!!!!!!!

[GOPisEvil]

12. What? Who's there?

[mrboba1]

13. you know.

but DON'T SAY!!!!

ssssssshhhhhhh!

[matcom]

14. i KNOW you all are staring at my ass!

i just know it

STOP IT!!!!!!!!

[sus]

18. okay NOW you're just being silly

Paranoia is nothing to be mocked. This is serious business, buddy.

And if you don't "GET" that, then you are obviously one of THEM.

[LynneSin]

17. I know that sus is out to get me

I heard she's posting about me behind my back - that evil wench

:mad:

[sus]

22. I need to move back a little from the computer monitor right now

and I suggest everyone else does too right now, because it's huge and it's neurophysiological effects irreversible.

(RIGHT NOW.)

[mrboba1]

31. ....mmmmmmmuuuuu

.hguone kciuq ti edam I kniht t'nod I

[Misunderestimator]

26. People here are only nice to me because...

they think that NSMA will hurt them if they're not... :bounce:

[sus]

32. If you resist, it will only hurt more. I mean, uh, that's what I heard. I

I wouldn't know about these things. Really.

[LynneSin]

70. I thought it was because they wanted some action on NSMA's car hood

[Misunderestimator]

78. You LOVE that picture, don't you?

:D

[sus]

30. who are these web"masters" and what are they masters of, the UNIVERSE???!!

that's what I want to know

it's got to be the universe

nothing is as huge and big as the universe

so if they are mastering the universe, then we click on their websites, then

what are we???????

[mrboba1]

47. Now you're just being goofy.

What does He-Man have to do with this?

Waaaiiiit: Ahnold=He-Man...


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii......

[GOPisEvil]

39. What was that clicking noise?!?!?!

Aiiiiiggghhh!!!! :scared:

[sus]

40. Did you hear that? There they go again... I heard them mention your name.

Did you hear them that time??

[GOPisEvil]

50. They? They who?? Them?!?!?!

[sus]

51. I can't tell you. I've been warned about you...

[GOPisEvil]

53. Lies!!!! All lies!!!!!!

Unless they are telling you how wonderful I am. That's all true.

Whoa, that lightning bolt was CLOSE!!!! Whew!

[sus]

54. ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...they're listening...

[GOPisEvil]

56. My desk lamp has turned towards me....

...I think it's straining to hear me better.

[mrboba1]

52. clicky -clicky-click-click

GOPiE-GOPiE- clicky-click

[mrboba1]

41. I had to leave my desk...

who opened my drink????

[sus]

45. you'll never find out because I've sanded off my fingerprints.

uhh..I mean. IT WAS TED! I SAW HIM!

[mrboba1]

46. I knew it! You can never trust someone

whose name is the same spelled frontwards as backwards! sus/sus!

I'm on to you!!!

[sus]

48. hmm.. I knew you'd say that. the idea is to impose blandness.

more economical to surveil.

[mrboba1]

57. did you notice that SLB has disappeared?

Where did he go? Did this 'Ted' get him?

[mrboba1]

59. Why aren't you answering?!

Is anyone here?!?

:scared:

[sus]

62. Somebody must have stuck a chip in his brain to keep him away

when YOU'RE here.

and you knew that. the question is, why are pretending NOT to know that?

I WILL figure out your angle..and when I do. Well..I can't TELL you what's going to happen. but it will be BIG.

[mrboba1]

64. Well, I drank my drink. Then I had to pee.

And it was yellow - what have you done to me!?!?

[redqueen]

55. No! It's perfectly normal...

and no matter what the encrypted files on my computer say, that's really what I think. I believe everything the media says. I'm a good citizen... really I am!

[sus]

58. sounds like you have reverse paranoia.

You're convinced that you're out to get everyone.

I knew you were there just watching...and waiting.

[mrboba1]

60. I knew you were coming.

You follow me everywhere...

[GOPisEvil]

61. *knock, knock* OMIGOD!!! They're coming to get us!!! Hide under the bed!!!

Oh, it's just the maid.

</Wolf Blitzer and Bernie Shaw at their hotel in Baghdad, 1991>

[sus]

63. They told me you would invoke Blitzer and Bernie.

DON'T YOU SEE YOU'RE JUST PLAYING INTO THEIR TINY GREEN HANDS??!!!

[GOPisEvil]

67. SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE, DON'T YOU GET IT?!?!?

[mrboba1]

65. Now I couldn't get in to this site!

What happened here while I was gone?
I knew that Skinner was up to no good...

[sus]

66. The DU fundraiser was just a ruse to get our credit card numbers.

Skinner's gonna be in the Bahamas tomorrow.

They suck us in with grand promises of this "star" they keep talking about. Well I'm here to tell ya...I'm sitting here with Kathleen Turner and this was NOT part of the deal.

I have to go de-program her now.

[mrboba1]

68. I'm leaving now

but I know you'll be on the #4 bus. So I'm taking the #6.
Or maybe I'm saying I'm taking the number 6 so you'll get on the 6 so I'll take the 4.

All I'm saying is --- Don't take the 13.....

[LynneSin]

69. I have to confess, I found out that SUS is really Patriot Act spy

I just know she is. She's keeping records of everything we post here at DU. I determined this was true when I noticed that picture of John Ashcroft she has hanging in her home.

[sus]

71. That wasn't my home, you fool! It was the A&P!

I'm just a poor girl from Pennsylvania who wanted to start a thread.

Nothing special about that. but YOU seem to think there's something special about that.

I wonder why...

[LynneSin]

72. Then why do you follow me around everywhere

why do your cats act all bizarre when I visit there? My cats don't act like that; they're all friendly and stuff - but your cats are secretly plotting something and I'm close to proving it too

[GOPisEvil]

73. Her cats like me.

I think it's YOU! :P

[sus]

74. Why are you conducting this campaign of distraction????

can't you see we are being watched??!

Is it because you hooked up a webcam and broadcast yourself and matcom having hot dirty erotic sex with Bill Gates? Or is it some twisted, cryptic, insidious plot never to be uncovered?

We may never know.

[sus]

75. my GOD. i've just realized who al hedges is.

and that water stain on my ceiling PROVES it.

[jukes]

76. DUCK!

damn, that was close...

[davsand]

77. If you tell me do you really have to kill me?

I worry about it. I really do...

Laura

[jukes]

79. Sus

it's *dark* in here, wd you put on the light...?

:scared:

[MrSandman]

80. It may be strange,

But THEY are out to get me.

In fact, I saw a black helicopter circling my home. That is not to mention the drones that have been seen over the mountain.