Republican jokes, ...mine. Yours?

[joefree1]

A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center's director that he was an acceptable candidate.
"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive."
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Replublican's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Replublican's brain?? Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Replubicans we would have to kill?"

Q: How many Republicans does it take to fix a broken light bulb?

A: None. "The light bulb is not broken. Can't you see the light? Why do you hate America?"

Q: How many pro-lifers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, one to do it and one to insist that the bulb was lit when the
screwing began.

Got more? Warning, I will steal them.


Seating now available in the Smoking Section:
Politics, humor, death and the Devil - http://www.eDiablo.com

[murphymom]

1. Heard a similar one as your first -

but with this punchline:

The director answered: "Well, it's never been used."