Cheesiest Song of ALL TIME:

[Moloch]

Poll question: Cheesiest Song of ALL TIME:

[name not needed]

1. Barbie Girl

I fucking hate that song. It makes me want to disembowel someone with a spork.

[terrya]

2. "We Built This City"

Former remenants of counter-culture Jefferson Airplane reinvent themselves almost 20 years later as Starship. They end up doing a song so breathtakingly bland, so..corporate (even though one of the lines in the song is "no corporation games"), so utterly soulless that Grace Slick ends up quitting the band and retiring.

This is a song unbearably awful. Almost sort of sad, actually.

[alvis]

6. When you have a traffic report in the middle of a song

that just can't be good.

[gollygee]

The absolute worst song ever

It is very sad. Very very sad.

[MindPilot]

3. oh there are so many...

I Wanna Hold Your Hand doesn't even come close to the likes of

Afternoon Delight, Honey (I Miss You), DOA, Having My Baby, and any car crash song, with the possible exception of Dead Man's Curve

[MissBrooks]

30. I totally agree..

Afternoon Delight is awful and Having My Baby!?
What were they thinking...


Remember that song, Shannon?

Shannon has gone away, she's floating out to sea.....

I think it's about a dog.



Yuck.

[Jade Fox]

4. How dare you insult the Beatles..n/t

[Moloch]

8. You're right I shouldn't have put I wanna Hold Your Hand...

I should have put their ridiculous and shameful cover of "Twist and Shout" on there... now that is right up there with starship or maybe pat boone covering tutti fruitti.

[Jade Fox]

26. The Beatles did lots of cover versions in their pre-success stage act....

and after they made it big the recordings of those songs (one of which was
Twist and Shout) were released by their orginal record company (Verve, I
believe) in order to cash in on the Beatles phenomenon.

[koopie57]

5. Manic Monday

I hate hate hate it!

[Merrick]

7. All Out Of Love - Air Supply

[CO Liberal]

9. "You're Havin' My Baby" - Pauk Anka

:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

[msanthrope]

11. That gets my vote...n/t

[Moloch]

12. Added it.

nt

[CO Liberal]

17. And I Voted For It

:-)

[saltpoint]

10. Can't remember the exact name of the song --

-- but the chorus goes something like:

"Sugar sugar
Honey honey
You are my candy, girl
And you've got me wanting you."

Pretty cheesy, pre-adolescent lyrics layered over an uninteresting, chant-like melody, and poorly sung to boot.

Re your poll: early Beatles music is holy and you will burn in the hot blue blazes of hell for ever for suggesting it's cheesy.

[SeanQuinn]

14. "Sugar Sugar" by the Archies -- Thank you Google. n/t

[Crankie Avalon]

18. Hey, how'd you sneak in there?

:crazy:

[saltpoint]

22. Yeah -- The Archies. That's it.

There's just nothing to hang your hat on with that tune.

[Crankie Avalon]

15. "Sugar" by the Archies

[Moloch]

19. But it IS cheesy...

I ran out of space so I couldn't include truly awful songs like "Love Me Do" and "Eight Days a Week" Oh god how horrible. I still think their cover of "Twist and Shout" was the worst, white washed brits trying to sound Black, how pathetic.

[saltpoint]

25. Cheesy compared with "The Boxer" --

-- but pretty good next to "Sugar Sugar."

Plus, the Beatles evolved. After "Sugar Sugar" The Archies faded into obvlion and were never heard from again.

[Moloch]

27. Yes I know....

That's why none of their later songs were on the list.... Just as Jefferson Airplane was a good band, we built this city was totally god-awful.

[Kahuna]

13. What? No, "Muskrat Love?"

:puke:

[MissBrooks]

32. YUCK...

Muskrat Love...

Rodent Porno meets Bad Music

[CanuckAmok]

16. Yummy Yummy Yummy, I got Love in My Tummy,

And I feel like lovin' you...

Love is such a sweet thing, good enough to eat thing...

[MissBrooks]

33. I can't even tell you what that reminds me of...

x(

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/rockstar.htm

[Patiod]

20. Seasons in the Sun

<cringe>

[Crankie Avalon]

21. There was some song that went...

..."boom, boom, boom, let's go back to my room" that was pretty putrid, too.

[Moloch]

23. ...and we can do it all night....

great one, if I can remember the name of the song I would have added it.

[eaprez]

24. Afternoon Delight...........sickening...absolutely sickening!

[henslee]

28. Ebony and Ivory, If You Like Pina Coladas, I Write the Songs. nt

[HEAVYHEART]

29. We Built This City

I love Grace Slick but this song with Jefferson Starship makes me wanna :puke:

[arwalden]

31. Cheese Glorious Cheese

[DemocratSinceBirth]

34. Where's Feelings?

Are we to assume you're into it...

[SheilaT]

35. Honey by Bobby Goldsboro.

The tune itself is incredibly insipid, the words even more so.

The Smothers Brothers did a wonderful sendup of the song in which the surviving husband has turned his home into a shrine to Honey and as he shows visitors around he leers openly at attractive women.

Oh, heck, I'll just post the lyrics. Count yourself lucky if you're too young to remeber when this was getting frequent airplay.

See the tree, how big it's grown
but friend, it hasn't been too long, it wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad,
the first day that she planted it was just a twig
Then the first snow came and she
ran out to brush the snow away so it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited
slipped and almost hurt herself, I laughed till I cried

And honey, I miss you and I'm being good
And I'd love to be with you, if only I could

She wrecked the car and she was sad
and so afraid that I'd be mad, but what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
guess you could say she saw through me and hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly
and found her crying needlessly in the middle of the day
And it was in the early Spring
when flowers bloom and robins sing, she went away

And honey, I miss you and I'm being good
And I'd love to be with you, if only I could

She was always young at heart
kinda dumb and kinda smart, I loved her so
I surprised her with a puppy
kept me up all Christmas Eve, two years ago
It would sure embarass her
when I came home from working late 'cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin'
over some sad and silly late, late show

And honey, I miss you and I'm being good
And I'd love to be with you, if only I could

Yes, one day while I wasn't home
while she was there and all alone, the angels came
Now all I have is memories
of honey, and I wake up nights and call her name
Now my life's an empty stage
where honey lived and honey played and love grew up
A small cloud passes overhead
and cries down in the flower bed that honey loved

(fading to end)
And see the tree, how big it's grown
but friend, it hasn't been too long, it wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad,
the first day that she planted it was just a twig

[terrya]

39. Now that's a strong contender. Bobby Goldsboro is in a class by himself...

in terms of cheesiness. "Watching Scotty Grow" is another horrible ode to cheese.

[sleepyhead]

41. I think it was Dave Barry

who said that the song is only tolerable if you think of the angels that came for Honey as the Hell's Angels. That thought always makes me giggle.

On edit: Post 666! So much for me posting something eloquent for such a momentous occasion!

[proud2BlibKansan]

36. Butterfly Kisses

There's two things I know for sure.
She was sent here from heaven,
and she's daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night,
she talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes.
And I thank God for all of the joy in
my life, But most of all, for...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.
"Walk beside the pony
daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny,
daddy, but I sure tried."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong,
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning,
And butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet sixteen today,
She's looking like her momma
a little more everyday.
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and makeup,
from ribbons and curls.
Trying her wings out in a great
big world. But I remember...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you daddy,
But if you don't mind,
I'm only going to kiss you on
the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right.
To deserve her love every morning,
And butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by
Precious butterfly
Spread your wings and fly

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise,
and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride room
just staring at her,
she asked me what I'm thinking,
and I said "I'm not sure,
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
Then she leaned over....and gave me....

Butterfly kisses, with her mama there
Sticking little flowers all up in her hair
"Walk me down the aisle, daddy, it's just about time"
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, daddy?"
"Daddy,
don't cry."
With all that I've done wrong,
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning,
And butterfly kisses
I couldn't ask God for more, man, this is what love is
I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
Every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses...

[Deja Q]

37. 'WBTC' isn't just cheezy. It's godawful.

Funny how Kanter and Slick and the rest give the song the finger, but they certainly didn't mind getting rich off of making it. :shrug:

[flvegan]

38. How does one get "knee deep in the hooplah" anyway?

[Moloch]

40. I think one would get "knee deep in the hooplah"

by making a corporate rock song that criticizes corporate rock. Yep, that'll do it.

[Left Is Write]

42. It's a good thing "Having My Baby" is on the list.

I would have had to add it otherwise.

It's not just cheesy, it's bad cheesy. Some cheese is good. This is not good cheese.