Official DU Happy Birthday to George Carlin...68 years young!

[edbermac]

Born May 12 1937...one of the funniest people on the planet...below are a few of his classic bits of wit and wisdom...


"A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it."

"Life is a zero sum game."

"I wanna live, I don't wanna die. That's the whole meaning of life: not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade."

"Most people are not particulary good at anything."

"If there is a God, may he strike me dead."

"I used to be Irish Catholic now I'm an American, you know you grow."

"Don't get run over."

"Religion has actually convinced people that there is an invisible man living in the sky, and he has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these things he will send you to a place full of fire, and smoke, and burn and torture forever and ever 'till the end of time.... but he loves you. And he needs money."

"When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve."

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."

"If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else."

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."

"I'm not afraid of heights, I'm just afraid of falling from them."

"Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right."

[proud patriot]

1. I was 14 when I first heard Carlin

My dad had an album of his with the list of
words you can't say . I loved it .

Thanks for all the laughs through my life

Happy Birthday

[hank1901]

2. I have never really like Carlin. He is very vulgar in his acts on stage

and pointedly insults the elderly in the audiance. My brother was at one show of his and Carlin started in on an elderly gentlemen's wife and the elderly man started to get up on the stage to take him on and Carlin started his "oh, tough guy huh" routine with the old man and it was NOT PART OF THE ACT!

[bertha katzenengel]

3. Mmm-hmm.

:fishing:

[Bridget Burke]

4. I think you've got a bite!

What some creatures will do to swallow a worm!

[bertha katzenengel]

6. "worm"

being the operative word. :hi:

[Kathy in Cambridge]

11. subtle as a sledgehammer

worm is the operative term...

[Kathy in Cambridge]

10. *sniff* *sniff*

smell something funny? :eyes:

[Zomby Woof]

5. The Greatest Comedian Alive!

That last quote about cynics needs to go in my sig line eventually. :D

[bertha katzenengel]

7. Solve homelessness in the U.S.: Use the golf courses.

I love George Carlin. :bounce: He was great as Eddie in "The Prince of Tides," too.

[Debbi801]

8. Don't forget Mr Conductor on Shining Time Station.

:-) I used to get a kick out of seeing him on a children's show.

I love him. We never miss his specials when they air on HBO. Doesn't matter how many times we've seen it, we still crack up laughing.

Debbi

[ghostsofgiants]

12. Thta's how I was introduced to him

Then like 6 or 7 year later maybe I saw one of his comedy specials and thought "holy shit, that's Mr. Conductor?!"

Happy birthday George!

[havocmom]

9. Happy Birthday to a great American!

Please tell Al Sleet, he can turn off my snow now!

edited to add, think I'll quote him for my sig line too