DU chat topic tonight: why some insist on taking everything so seriously

[mark414]

especially in the context of an internet message board

IM kleebsta or markLS414 for an invite (edit...on AIM)

[bettyellen]

1. it's because they don't know what real pain is.....

or had enough of it, if you ask me!

i love you guys, i wish i could hang......

[salin]

or perhaps the converse

find the "pain" of the loss of posting priveledges... compared to the pain of the real human loss - a bit ridiculous. Find the irony of the threads lauding the very behavior that temprorarily drove out one of our late duers from his du home for an extended period. And find that the fact of raising this point rather than being met with.. gee, I hadn't thought of that... still sad that my friend can't post here... but it isn't the same as the death of a long time duer. Instead is diminished and dismissed as ... you people are so hostile... have no humor... or whatever other dismissive response can be thrown up.

So ironically, in my case - it is due to the pain of REAL loss that the posts are made. I have missed some duers who have been forced to leave - and that, is sad - but not real pain.

[wakemeupwhenitsover]

6. Salin,

He was the main reason I cam to DU. The LBN was the best & it was all due to him.

[Texasgal]

10. Does this REALLY matter to you?

Why shit on someones grief?

If people are sad about sniffa let them be.... jeez... I just don't understand what your beef is... truly..I don't get it.

[bettyellen]

15. i'm sorry that i'm not sure i undersatnd a lot of what you're referring to

so i'll explain what i was referring to:
quite a few pwople have come to the lounge solely to look down on people in a sour grapes way lately, saying there's no value or relevence to it or the posters. they'd prefer that everybody here make a contribution and prove it to them!! and have actually asked people, neigh insinuated that these people do nothing but goof around.
seems to me they missed the sign that said lounge.
it's been my experience that a lot of people who snipe and look down on people for fun like these kinda minor conflicts, and they go looking for them. it's been my experience as well, that people who have truly seen dark times in their lives can very much value some levity. and there is a lot of value in it for us. that's all i meant.
i'm not wrapped up in the soap opera here to know exactly what your referring to, but i gather you've experienced some real loss, and i'm truly sorry to hear that. but no, i wouldn't equate being banned frm here as real pain, not by any stretch of the imagination.

[gardenista]

14. self-delete.

[progmom]

22. what?

where?
are you getting that from bettyellen's post?
i don't see that there at all...

:shrug:

[bettyellen]

23. maybe there was some subtext i missed, i have no idea what is upsetting

you, but you are taking things in a sinister way i did not intend at all. sorry for the misunderstanding.....
i think a lot of the whiney people just don't have real shit to worry about, so they go find things to get pissed off about.
like it or not, you are DEAD WRONG my post was not directed at any particular person or thread. Sorry, it ain't all about that for all of us here.

[KitchenWitch]

2. AOL, MSM or Yahoo?

[JohnKleeb]

3. AIM

[KitchenWitch]

4. Damn, that is the one of the two main ones I do not have

I dont have ICQ or AIM

[mark414]

5. ...

http://www.aim.com

get it! now!

i demand it :mad:

[GirlinContempt]

17. We should start

a MSN one :P

EDIT:
just sort of general chat

[KitchenWitch]

21. ROFL

:7

[GirlinContempt]

24. doooo it!!

[salin]

7. woohoo

how mature - I know i get to be talked about because I am the stick in the mud on the other thread... and now I get to know that there is going to be an organized chat about it.

Fortunately I have been around long enough. That I don't care.

But for folks who might be newer arrivals to the DU, or who might be shy. This is EXACTLY the behavior which has been refered to by Skinner and others that is nasty and intimidating to others. That sets up the appearance of a closed clique that doesn't care whether or not they are cruel to others.

Just thought you might like to "see" how some who are not vocal read your "innocent" posts.

I was surprised how many PMS I received in the past two days on this issue. Frankly I havent been around much to witness this friendly and welcoming and jovial behavior. But lots of folks are intimidated, afraid to say anything for fear of exactly this kind of public intimidation (a message sent targeted at a single or small group of people with a message in the header that says our group is going off line to talk about you) - and now it is really clear why so many people feel that way.

I now get it.

[mark414]

8. anyone is welcome to join

IM me or kleeb for an invite

[Deja Q]

16. It happens to ALL people on ALL sites.

See my message below.

Yes, it can hurt. Royally.

But shit happens. It's not easy to do but we can't let the downers eat away at us or else we're lost. Sometimes one has to fight to be accepted. And the best way to fight is not swashbuckling a huge sword at everybody; that's intimidating in return.

And some people just don't fit certain social groups. It happens to us all. It's life. Regardless if we're capitalist, free enterprise, plutocracy, socialism, communism, fascism, whatever.

[progmom]

18. check your pm

:)

[bettyellen]

26. i have no idea if you are right.......

but i never imagined it was about one person.
i just don't get it that people are shitting on the lounge and then expecting people to be nice. that just seems a little self defeating, for starters. and i WAS NOT thinking about you when i say this.

[democracyindanger]

9. Because

some people need to get a life.

Just being brutally honest.

[Deja Q]

20. Also true.

I'm one such person. So were those 20 people I mentioned in my message below. :D :D

[gardenista]

11. If ya don't mind, leave the DU trademark out of it, and call it

whatever else you want to. It's not a DU chat.

And I do think it would be wise to take it elsewhere.

[Lars39]

12. Your 'eulogy' thread should have been locked

as soon as it appeared, just like every other thread that has ever popped up after a person has been banned.

[Deja Q]

13. I've been on a couple British forums. And you know what?

They're infinitely more hung-up about taking the oddest things overly seriously.

I crated a poll on one of them and got skewered alive by 20 people; the bulk of which genuinely did venture into what would be classified as a "personal attack". By our standards anyway.

The topic? Discussing a television show. :eyes: (you can guess which one...)

The accusation? Too few response options; with the existing ones too narrow/biased. (well, at the time of posting, that was rather my point! :eyes: Especially when my topic brought in a comparison scenario (from 1989) that far strengthened my case. And who said a poll has always got to be unbiased? And here I am also taking these responses so seriously... all about a tv show too. I'm as much a part of the problem as they are. Now if only one of them had bothered to say that, but I doubt they had. A lot of them blindly praised the latest episode without evidence anyway, and that I hate. "Oooh, it's the greatest!" with no backing evidence. Especially when the episode was full of problems... Oops, there I go again.)

By far, DUers (of all persuasions) have been far kinder to an eccentric little imp with Asperger's, to say the very least.

Still, a friend of mine who also posts has said to me in the past that there is a wedge issue going on and that we're on the "unpopular" perspective because we don't blindly love every episode made and that the majority of the people on that site do love just about every episode, amongst other things... so I shouldn't be upset I'd gotten all that flak. But at least I still am arrogant enough to ask questions and even dare to stir the pot. I'm not going to go around grinning, saying it's faultless.

I don't know what I just proved, but I think I proved your point about people taking things seriously and that I'm just as guilty. :D

[ghostsofgiants]

19. I just thank god that this isn't a scratch dj board circa 2001

I doubt any of you will know what the hell I'm talking about, but that shit was insane.

[Moderator]

25. This thread is inflammtory

and intended to continue an argument from an already existing thread.

Locking.