Police Search For Stolen Giant Wiener (ACTUAL HEADLINE)

[matcom]

<snip>

ROCK HILL, S.C. -- Police are looking for a hot dog that's really hot -- as in stolen.

A sign featuring a giant wiener has gone missing from the Ebenezer Grill. But investigators believe the suspects should be easy to spot.

"It's tough to hide a 10-foot weenie," Rock Hill police Lt. Jerry Waldrop said.

The smiling hot dog has welcomed customers for the past 18 months, after owner Loyd Ardrey bought it to replace the aging dog that sat atop the roof for years.

When Ardrey arrived around 6 a.m. Wednesday, the 30-pound aluminum sign was gone.

"I figured, well, maybe it blew off because we had some storms last night. We looked around, and it wasn't in any yards next door or across the street or anything," Ardrey said.

If he has to, Ardrey said he will buy another sign. He's thinking about offering a reward, but isn't sure if he should give out money or hot dogs.

"I just want my weenie back," Ardrey said.

http://www.wftv.com/food/4492336/detail.html

[Radio_Lady]

1. Jay Leno should have this one! Cute!

[Blue-Jay]

2. "It's tough to hide a 10-foot weenie,"

Oy. If I had a dime for every time I've uttered THOSE words.

[mike_c]

3. beat me to it....

LOL

[tridim]

4. Detachable penis.. uhh uhh.. uhh uhh.. uhh uhh!

[flvegan]

5. You need a strong back to carry around a 30 pound weiner.

"I just want my weenie back," is a classic.

[ET Awful]

6. "I want my weenie back."

Doesn't John Wayne Bobbitt have a copyright on that phrase?

[frylock]

7. GIVE ME BACK MY WEENIE!!!

[underpants]

8. I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
a while, then out]

[blue neen]

9. A smiling hot dog.

That's a good idea for a new smilie! :evilgrin: