Yet another self-serving post about cliques

[DS1]

You know, a lot of us have been here for a long time, some of us since 2001. During that time people come and people go, and eventually you converse with people local to you about local issues. Whether it's sports in the lounge or bashing Romney elsewhere us "elite Boston" - for example - DUers can tend to stick together on local issues.

Part of the reason this is true is because a lot of us know each other, and have taken time to organize, schedule, and participate in frequent gatherings. Guess what, we typically find out we like each other.

So if you're some Johnny-come-lately bitching about being left out of 'cliques', get off your ass and organize a meetup and actually meet people instead of crying about feeling left out from behind your keyboard. It's really pathetic, and if this applies to you it's time to start acting like an adult and taking steps to fix your allegded exclusionary DU experience.

/end :rant:

[Lex]

1. Well, that should work. nt

[DS1]

4. It's that elite tough Boston lovin

:eyes:

[JohnKleeb]

2. I agree with ya even though I only went the once

Yeah people who have actually met each other are bound to talk more amongst themselves, it's natural really I think for that to occur.

[DS1]

75. When you can put a face to a name or cryptic handle

it changes the dynamic.

[belladonna]

3. Oh yeah?

So if I organize my very own meetup, are you gonna bring all the cool kids down and grace me with your presence? Damn Bostonians, so cliquish :P

[DS1]

5. We have our own bus

[belladonna]

16. I dunno

I know how you Bostonians are, the big egos and clique mentality. Sure you'll all fit on there? :evilgrin:

[DS1]

19. We have a special trailer for matcom's ego

:D

[Kathy in Cambridge]

98. .

:rofl:

[undeterred]

6. this time I'm getting a good seat

:popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn:

[DS1]

8. that's nice

3 bags full?

[name not needed]

12. Share the popcorn, you greedy bastard

:D

[undeterred]

15. ok...wanna beer?

:popcorn: :beer: :popcorn: :beer: :popcorn: :beer: :popcorn: :beer: :popcorn: :beer: :popcorn: :beer: :popcorn: :beer: :popcorn: :beer:

[sundog]

7. Why are you trying to shut me out?

:P

[DS1]

9. Your avatar scares me

[DS1]

10. Your avatar scares me

[sundog]

14. alright man, chill out about it

:P

[DS1]

18. Are we still on for drinks?

:D

[bettyellen]

24. you are good at this, you are the best possible totally unrequited crush..

i can just see sundog howling in the rain on your street corner.
don't forget to take pictures!

[sundog]

37. he's an abusive man

:cry:

"You can sleep with me, but it just means we're friends," he said :cry:

:P

[bettyellen]

he he he he

[bettyellen]

40. oh , that hurts! so how was he? it? you know.....

[sundog]

47. hurt? dunno... i guess you should ask him that

:rofl:

[belladonna]

21. You know, Sundog

I wouldn't feel quite so left out if you'd put me in your sigline :P

Of course, I understand that you've moved on to bigger and better cliques since you threw me over for progmom, so if you won't do it I'll understand :cry:

[progmom]

30. belladonna?

we could share him, you know...

you could have him on monday/wed/friday and alternate sundays, if you want.

sundog is too good for just one girl.

well. yeah. he might be too good for girls in general, but that's another issue entirely.

[JimmyJazz]

36. Hello? *cough* *cough* - what the fuck am I?

chopped liver? :P

[progmom]

41. this is between me and belladonna

i don't recall seeing you at the caged jello wrestling match!

:P

[sundog]

48. jello wrasslin!!!!

:bounce:

[sundog]

49. you ARE supposed to be returning that horrid lounge decor you bought

without my permission :P

[belladonna]

52. Fine, we'll strike a deal

But what about holidays and extra special occasions? :shrug:

[progmom]

101. you can have him on your birthday

...and on his birthday, we'll both go to his place, wherever he ends up. Alternate religious and bank holidays. Fair?

[belladonna]

102. Ohhh, we'll both go to his place???

I'd better leave that alone or DS1 will never forgive me for getting his thread locked :D

[sundog]

32. well you abandon me for weeks at a time

what's a boy to do? :cry:

[belladonna]

53. Awww, you're so damn cute when you cry too

Sorry babe, got sick again and I've been on the net very little lately. I DID miss you though :hug:

[sundog]

57. feeling better?

:)

[belladonna]

58. A little, thanks

I just can't seem to bounce back like I usually do, but I'm working on it.

[FuzzySlippers]

51. Step aside, sweetie!

He's got himself a whole new harem of f*g h*gs.:P

[belladonna]

54. Cage match?

And just for the attitude, you get MUD :evilfrown:

[FuzzySlippers]

56. Ummm.....mud wrestling ain't really my thing.

I'm sure we can work out some kind of time share plan.:-)

[Catherine Vincent]

11. You should be head of the welcome wagon here on DU.

[DS1]

13. How about the Grow Up wagon?

[havocmom]

29. Hear hear!

Not many people who make an effort around here get shut out or treated poorly. Relationships take time. Those coming to the internet thinking that fact doesn't apply are just not being reasonable.

Who are you, by the way? :P

edited cuz I'm and idiot and can't type & breath at the same time

[jpgray]

17. You're a Bostonite?

You're dead to me now.

[jonnyblitz]

20. no fucking shit..THANK YOU.

:thumbsup: a post that actually caused me to break my self imposed "no longer posting" exile.

now..where was i...

[JohnKleeb]

22. psssssssssst you were gonna give me some cash

[jonnyblitz]

25. i dont know what in fuck u are talking about kleeb..

dont bother responding i am logging off now..

[JohnKleeb]

26. I know you wont respond but I was trying to get some money

I was messing around as the usual but I agree with he's saying as well, its human nature really.

[bettyellen]

27. scarfing doritos soaking wet.......

we never talked about any of this here before. why am i suddenly compelled to?
:shrug:
martin? any thoughts?

[DS1]

64. Wet doritos?

I don't have much to say about that, somewhat surprisingly. But I'd recommend throwing them in the oven for a bit to dry them out, then throw some cheese on

Yummy

[DS1]

63. Anytime bro

:toast:

I'll slip the :smoke: under the counter so nobody can see you not posting

[xmas74]

23. Good point.

I would love to join everyone in Boston but can't because of finances right now. That will not stop me from meeting others on this board. I plan on going to a KC meetup sometime this summer. And I formed my own DFA meetup in my town to meet likeminded individuals (and will recommend this forum to them at our first meeting this Saturday).
When it comes to forums, you get back what you put into them. I have spent some time here but not very long. I have never felt left out by anyone. Compared to some people on here, I do not expect a reply to all of my posts. Actually, I have never expected a reply to any of my posts. When someone takes the time to reply to me or to send me a pm I consider it to be a pleasant surprise. But I don't troll around and demand a reply.

To the newbies: Just spend some time here and post on anything that tickles your fancy. Sooner or later someone will reply back. And don't forget to check out your state forums-that is the best place to get a reply to something. If nothing else, start a "Where are you from" thread there. You might just find someone whom you have alot in common. Once one person replies you will have others follow suit.

[DS1]

71. I've got an entire day without a reply before. Does that stop me?

Obviously not.

[xmas74]

107. I know that I will reply to you eventually.

[dolo amber]

28. That post needs more swearing

:P

Excellent point, my good sir. ;)

[sundog]

39. fuuuuuuuuck

now lemme hear your felix mix :P

[dolo amber]

42. You know where it is

Sheesh, would you like for me to wipe your ass for you too? :eyes:

:P

[sundog]

46. why yes, thank you

I'm feeling somewhat lazy today... thanks for the offer. :D

[fishnfla]

31. complimenting other DUers also works wonders

you're so good looking!

[Dover]

33. What would Jesus's clique do?

Just asking...

[sundog]

50. start a flamewar

[FuzzySlippers]

34. Who the fuck are you again?

[bratcatinok]

35. Ok, so I've read all this stuff about cliques.

I'm disabled, don't drive and live in rural SW Ok. Heck, even if there was a meet-up in OKC, I wouldn't be able to go.

BUT!!!! I haven't noticed DU being cliquish. In August I'll have been here 2 years and I don't post all that much so not many people know me. Still, when I do post I don't feel ignored or as if I don't belong here. I read DU often enough I know quite a few people's backgrounds and if I have something I want to add to a thread I don't have any hesitation or qualms about doing so.

I don't feel excluded just because I haven't met anyone personally or because people aren't intimately acquainted with my life story. I've posted in different threads about different happenings in my life and some of the people I was responding to may remember or they may not. It isn't the end of my world if anyone doesn't remember my post about my 2 cats or my 2 dogs or how I broke my shoulder or whatever.

Maybe it doesn't bother me because I have a real world I have to deal with on a daily basis and that takes up quite a bit of my emotional and mental energy.

[SOteric]

38. Hey there, you siliver-tongued devil, you....

Wanna start a clique?

[DS1]

60. I dunno if you want me, sweet thing.

I evil, rotten to the core, insenstive, overly male, and lacking of any sort of class.

If you listen to the riffraff ;-)

[SOteric]

62. Good news!

I've been conducting my own in-depth analysis and I can certify that the riffraff are individually and collectively full of hooey.

:hug:

And ITYM 'rotten to the Corps.' :7

[DS1]

76. Corps? With no e on the end? Whatchoo saying?

:D

:loveya:

[Lars39]

43. Checking profile.....

yep, just what I thought I'd find.

[DS1]

65. *yawn*

There you go again getting all sexist :eyes:

[Lars39]

74. Just wanted to see what you'd say, DS1.

I normally don't respond to your posts much 'cause I don't like having my ass handed to me on a regular basis. :)

[Lars39]

81. Ok

Racked my little chemo-brain trying to figure out your comment...what
do you mean by that? Seriously, I don't remember. :shrug:
If it was something that bad I've done to cause any ill will I offer you my sincere apologies.

[DS1]

86. What was in my profile that you expected to see?

[Lars39]

96. Boston.

:dunce: Oh. You thought I looked to see if you were male. (Why would that make a difference?) No, I looked to see if this was Boston-Sniffa related.

on edit: that's me in the dunce cap, btw. :)

[DS1]

110. I thought you were going after some kind of insensitive male angle.

I made it pretty clear in the beginning that I'm from Boston, so that didn't strike me as what you were looking for.

[Lars39]

111. I missed the "elite Boston" statement.

Boston was where I thought ya'll had met up with Sniffa. :shrug:

[DS1]

112. There's nothing written in this thread by me that's geared towards

sniffa or that fiasco.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

113. I think it was a mistake to post all the Boston photos

it seems the shit hit the fan after that. I guess we should just keep our parties to ourselves.

[DS1]

114. Maybe.

Then again, it was the largest meeting ever, with more people coming in from further away than anywhere else, ever. So yeah, damn right we had a good time. There's nothing stopping others from organizing their own parties.

[Left Is Write]

44. I would be THRILLED to find enough Treasure Valley residents

to organize a meetup in downtown Boise.

Edit - if you live in or near the Treasure Valley or are willing to head to Boise, PM me.

[TheProphetess]

45. I realize it's a rant you're on but if you will kindly oblige

I'd be happy to share my humble opinion. I have felt very welcome here at DU. The truth is that I didn't become a member until I went (with my SO) to a meetup and got to see real people (I'm a little internet shy sometimes).

You're right - once people get to know one another a bit, they feel connected and tend to seek out the other's posts. That's natural and there's nothing at all wrong with that.

But I really think that Skinner was hitting on a completely different point when he brought up the "clique" comment. It seemed to me that he was pointing out hurtful, mean, and intentionally nasty behavior in which lots of people gang up on someone just because they can. I most humbly suggest that he wasn't referring to those of you who may know one another and (gasp) like one another. If you haven't been caught up in nastiness, then you probably aren't at all involved in what he was referring to.

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. :hi:

[DS1]

67. You know in a specific response to what skinner was talking about

I've had some parties on ignore, as is the guidelines for these sorts of things, and I missed all the nastiness. :shrug:

[WindRavenX]

55. aweomse post

:headbang:

[DS1]

70. Thank you

:pals:

[Longgrain]

59. Good words DS1, I have been thinking of organizing a Western MA

meet-up sometime this summer, and have talked about going to a couple more.

And I agree, meeting each other in person, or chatting at length in PM, or talking on the phone is far better than just posting some "Look at Me!" shit on the message board.

[Sugar Smack]

72. Well put.

Y'know, now that you mention it, I hadn't thought of this before but you may be onto something. When I see what you wrote, it gets me to thinking; I would better understand a person if I heard the nuances in his or her voice and get my questions answered much more quickly on the phone. Longgrain, you're sharp. And you're a snazzy dresser too.

:P

[Longgrain]

79. Ah thanks Sugah! Maybe, you and I will have to organize our own meet-up.

I told you, I have two weeks summer vaction, and N. Carolina is not that far of a drive. :7

[Sugar Smack]

85. Well, I'll take very good care of you and any other DUers

who want to share my space.

"And I agree, meeting each other in person, or chatting at length in PM, or talking on the phone is far better than just posting some "Look at Me!" shit on the message board."

No really, that's great. Did you have an epiphany?


:P

[Longgrain]

87. Two months ago, when I actually got to meet a few of you guys and gals.

Changed my whole perspective about posting on-line.

[DS1]

73. That would be cool

I really like it out there, the N Hampton brewhouse (I think it's called) would be a nice place now that all the colleges are emptying out.

[Longgrain]

83. It's awesome in the summer, the town empties out...

So all of us big kids can have the place to ourself.

I have a friend who works (or used to work) at the Amherst Brewing Company (or ABC as it's called), right off of North Pleasant Street (the main intersection of Amherst), so she might be able to make a few suggestions.

But I agree, it's a very intellectual, liberal, and cultured area; beautiful countryside in the summer; always something going on (tho a bit slower paced than Boston). One of my favorite parts of the state! :toast:

[jmm]

61. Am I elite because I'm from Boston or

did I not become one of the beautiful people until I attended a DU gathering :shrug:?

[DS1]

69. It's the Boston thing, even though you're about as close to Boston

as I am, and that's not very close :D

[jmm]

77. I'm next door to Boston

I moved out of Salem and have my own place in Somerville now :-).

[DS1]

78. I stand corrected

Probably a lot more activity there, one would imagine

[Skittles]

66. I AGREE DS1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM FIXING TO KICK SOME WHINING ASS!!!!!!

[DS1]

68. Lemmie help tape your boots up in case a bootlace starts to come

undone in your orgy of asskicking

[Kathy in Cambridge]

103. You and me both, sister

all the whining is ruining the Lounge.

[paineinthearse]

80. Before reading this thread, I made a rare lounge post

I usually post in the GD, Politics & Massachusetts forums. But today I posted here about a free concert on the Cambridge Common. Only two "locals" have responded, one of whom would have read it in the Mass forum anyway.

There goes your theory about the need to reach out, it doesn't work.

[DS1]

84. I have a graduation to attend

And it's really short notice for everyone else.

[Bouncy Ball]

88. The lounge is VERY hit and miss.

I sometimes think the lounge should come with a big description posted at the top, perma-post. It should explain how you can post something that you think will get tons of responses and it will sink with none and you can post something off-hand you hardly think about and it will go crazy. And vice versa. You just never know.

It depends on who's in the lounge at the time, what the "mood" of the lounge is (despite what some people say, I've always found the idea that the lounge has just *one* mood a laughable notion), what time of day it is (completely different feel at night), etc.

I think if more people realized how hit and miss the lounge is, there wouldn't be all these......hurt feelings....or anger, or whatever is going on.

Anyway. If people don't live near other DUers or don't care to meet them in person, they can start threads they do like, and be persistent about it. Try different times of day, try different approaches, etc. Things move so fast around here, I'm always amazed to see a thread that was just on the first page on page three an hour later. And that's WITH responses, LOL!

P.S. Didja kick it a couple of times? Sometimes those posts need kick-starts. Nothing wrong with that.

[Texasgal]

90. Well... you know bouncy ball...

It is YOUR lounge after all! :eyes:

heh heh!

[Bouncy Ball]

91. Oh yeah that's right!

THIS BIMBO OWNS IT!!!

:rofl:

Hee hee.

[Texasgal]

93. Oh yeah!

Forgot about the BIMBO part... I swear.. it suits you! :rofl:

[Bouncy Ball]

95. Maybe I should work it into my sig line!

It'd be funny!

Bimbo is the name of a Mexican bakery here. That's the first thing I thought of.

:rofl:

[Texasgal]

97. I dare you

Double dog dare you! :P

[paineinthearse]

108. What you say about the lounge is true if most other DU forums

I'd add one thought, I call it the "front page" syndrome. Once anything goes to page 2, *poof*

Whatever.

Here's a link to the lounge post. Hope all can come.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3266050&mesg_id=3266050

[bettyellen]

105. you need to kick it at strategic moments.....

everybody does it. unless it's a total goofy vanity thing that now embarrasses them. then, they ask skinner to lock it!
hey, you still owe me a soda!

[DS1]

82. And while I was just making dinner, I made a mental list of how active

this "clique" up here is.

I've been to over 6 gatherings in the Cambridge area, to Pitt's twice, matcom's more than a couple times including two big barbeques, I think he's having another one this summer, I've been to a DU bbq at my mother's house and she's having another June 11. I've driven down to D.C. with matcom where we met a BUNCH more DUers, Lynnesin, rbnyc, khephra, GregW, and so on and so forth. Oops, almost forgot the DNC convention, where the admins, youngred and others drove all the way up from D.C.

So where does anyone get off saying that they're left out of discussions when there's sooo many opportunities to meet people in place, and nothing's stopping any of you from creating your own.

Start in your local state forums.

[Bouncy Ball]

89. Just to add on to your post.

I've never even MET any of you Boston mofos, but I get along with you just fine.

[bettyellen]

92. maybe we'll drive up to boston when you visit!

whaddaya say?

[Bouncy Ball]

94. I want everyone to know bettyellen and I are not

in a clique. We are perfectly open to anyone jumping into this thread at any time, so have at it.

God, if I met all those Boston people then I'd REALLY be accused of owning the lounge. No way, can't happen.

[bettyellen]

99. and that's why it must!!

ROADTRIP !!!1111
:bounce:

[tjdee]

104. Awww, and you were thinking about it whilst making dinner, too!

You care, you really care!
:silly:

I haven't made it to a meetup, but I can completely see what you're saying and you're probably right.

Probably.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

106. The Boston area is pretty small and full of DUers

that's why we have lots of gatherings. It has nothing to do with cliques or popularity. it has to do with drinking, goddamn it! :P

[ghostsofgiants]

100. Wait wait wait...so there aren't really "cliques"?

Just people who happen to be friends?

MY WHOLE REALITY IS SHATTERED!!!

[Arkana]

109. People whine about being left out of cliques?

I hadn't noticed. Why does everything happen when I'm not here?

No, seriously.

[Ramsey]

115. I was thinking about saying this

In a much nicer way of course! :evilgrin:

You rock, DS1!