Bush Threatens To Veto Sea Monkey Research
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today President Bush threatened to veto legislation that would open up federal testing on the world-famous Sea Monkeys, which delighted countless families around the world, about 25 years ago.
Bush's opposition to the testing began in 2002 while he was reading a couple old "Richie Rich", "Casper the Friendly Ghost" and "Underdog" comic books. Inside one of the comic books, Bush noticed an ad calling on people to adopt the underwater organisms. Bush grew concerned because they looked so human-like in the advertisement, and yet, according to the ad, billions were still waiting to be adopted.
Most scientists say that the U.S. ought to research Sea Monkey eggs, so we can stay abreast of worldwide Sea Monkey research. However, Bush says he will oppose any legislation that promotes the torture or killing of the tiny water-loving creatures.
"I have grown to love Aquaria, Festio, and their fabulous children Parma, Stella, and baby Tico," said Bush, "Why these scientists want to kill my little friends is beyond me."
Jasper Vixoprote, a Greek sea monkey research scientist said, "Actually, we don't 'Just add water' to these artemia eggs - we experiment on the eggs themselves. You know, these eggs will go bad eventually, anyway. Plus almost nobody buys them anymore except, I guess, heads of state who read old comic books."
Despite the millions of potential Sea Monkeys that are killed at Sea Monkey fertility clinics every day, President Bush has focused his opposition against research on Sea Monkey eggs. "For all we know, that Sea Monkey that these research-types are fixin' to torture could be a Sea Monkey second coming of Jesus Christ," said Bush, "And that's not a risk I'm willin' to make."
http://benquirer.blogspot.com/