Help me choose an excuse!

[LuckyTheDog]

I have an annual family reunion Sunday and those things usually are just a bit LESS fun than having dental work done. I have come up with what I think are some good excuses for not going. Please help me choose one or suggest your own:
Sorry, but…

1) A meteor destroyed my house and I’m not sure my insurance covers it. I’ll be busy figuring that out.

2) I have been playing phone tag with Karl Rove all day and I really want to be here when he calls back.

3) I have to change the dressing on my massive head wound and that will take several hours because I keep passing out.

4) Attending the reunion would, it turns out, be a violation of several UN resolutions.

5) I’ve developed a highly contagious case of the Ebola virus.

[matcom]

1. i prefer the direct approach myself

"YOU FUCKING PEOPLE ARE ALL FREAKS AND I WOULD RATHER POKE MY EYES OUT WITH PENCILS THAN SPEND 10 FUCKING MINUTES WITH YOU FOOLS"

works like a charm. you'll see.

[Justpat]

3. I like your style!

[patrice]

2. ooooooohhhhhh!! I like to show up and torture them!!!!

Politely, of course.