Things you should never say to a traffic cop

[auburngrad82]

"I couldn't have been speeding, officer. I drive very carefully when I'm baked."

[wildhorses]

1. can I see your gun?

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

2. But

"But ossiferrr.. did you see tat pink elefant on the road?"

Melonhawg

Proud Members of Melonhawg Society

[auburngrad82]

3. "Of course I'm drunk! Do I look like a stunt driver to you???"

[Dont_Bogart_the_Pretzel]

4. LOL

[Devra]

5. psst. want some weed?

[auburngrad82]

6. "Is it true cops get the best drugs?"

[Devra]

7. what do you mean pedestrians's have the right of way?

[auburngrad82]

13. "Woo Hoo!!! Did you see that? Did you see that? Oh, man! What a rush!"

[Dude_CalmDown]

8. Almost actually said this one time:

87?!!! I was doing at least 95!

[auburngrad82]

11. "Ok, Sir. Now, you're beginning to piss me off!"

This is when the cop draws his gun and asks you to exit the vehicle...

[Devra]

12. or

could you please turn the sirin off I already have a headache from being hung over

[flvegan]

9. "I'll open the trunk, but you have to close your eyes and count to 100."

[AllegroRondo]

10. Nice legs!

can you turn around so I can see the back?

[11 Bravo]

14. Hell yes I should be driving! I'm too fucking drunk to walk!

[auburngrad82]

17. "Fuck off! Can't you see I'm in a hurry???"

[Blue-Jay]

15. "Is that a real gun? I betcha can't shoot me!"

[kwassa]

16. How could I be at fault? I didn't see him!

[auburngrad82]

18. "I'll be with you in a minute, Sir. I'm on a very important call here."

[Xithras]

22. That one actually happened to my deputy friend.

He pulled a lady over for weaving, and when he got up to the car the lady was on the phone arguing with someone. He treid for almost two minutes to hang the phone up, but she kept telling him to wait..."I'll be done in just a minute". He finally reached in, took the phone away, and ended the call himself.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

19. "Hey, hitting pedestrians scores me 50 points!"

[CaliforniaPeggy]

20. If you were a REAL cop........

You'd be out catching the criminals instead of bothering people like me......:sarcasm:

[Patiod]

21. My SO to me: "I'm am NOT to drive to drunk!"

I made him give me the keys before he said that to a cop.

[Xithras]

23. One of my best friends is a county sheriff deputy.

The stories he can tell could have you rolling in laughter for hours.

Here's a BS excuse that you should never give an officer because they hear it ALL the time: "It's not my fault I was speeding, my speedometer's broken!" He hears that one at least once a week, and it usually gets the driver an EXTRA citation for driving an unsafe vehicle :)

Here's another one he apparently got last week (told me about it last weekend): He was driving down the road when he spotted a van that was driving slowly and weaving. He pulled it over and pulled the obviously drunk driver from the van. When he asked the guy how much he'd had to drink, the guy said "I can't be drunk because I only had six beers! It takes me at least a case to get drunk!" Idiot.

[henslee]

24. "There's no way my dials are pupulated".

[Left_Winger]

25. What was that? Yes officer, Krispy Kreme is just around the corner.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

26. This was from an officer I knew who got pulled over for speeding.

He showed the CHP Officer his badge. The CHP officer said "Well then you should know better" and gave him a ticket anyways.

:nopity: :rofl:

[JimmyJazz]

27. I never say anything, I just hand them this:

It works every time, I tell ya! :silly:

[-..__...]

28. "Here, hold my beer while I dig out my license and registration".