Grrrrrr!!!!!! Oh, the hassles of co-parenting....

[Shine]

Tonite I'm going out with some women friends, our daughter is having a sleepover at one of her friends, which leaves the hubby and our 12 yr old son home alone together for "boys nite". He's planning to let him watch "The Matrix", an RATED R movie, over and despite my VERY strong objections. :grr:

I have argued and argued with my hubby about the gratuitous violence, my opposition to exposing our son to it, etc, etc..... but to no avail. Apparently, all of our son's friends have seen it, which, in their male minds, makes it OK.

Am I being overly protective?? Am I crazy?? It's times like these when we come up against our different styles of parenting that it's challenging. I guess I'm just gonna have to bend on this one, but I don't like it.

As it is he's been watching some PG-13 movies from about the age of 9...the age our dtr is now.

Sigh....

[SeattleGirl]

1. Here's my thought, Shine

I understand your concerns, but since your husband is going to allow your son to watch it, if there's any fallout or your son has questions or anything, tell your husband he is the one that has to address them. Hope it works out okay.

:hug:

[Shine]

2. Yeah, good call, SG.

I'm putting the resposibility for the whole damn thing in his lap. It'll work out. He's a good kid, I'm just going through my little thing about it.

Thanks for your input. I appreciate it and you. :hug:

[GirlinContempt]

3. On the one hand, it's your kid

and you aren't comfortable with it, and it sounds like your husband isn't being very understanding.

But, personally, I don't find anything very objectionable in the Matrix and think it would be fine for a 12 year old to watch. I've seen way worse stuff on TV, at least it's got a neatish story behind it.

[Shine]

5. Yeah, that's what the hubby says, too. "hey, there's no sex in it!"

I agree, it's a cool story and the violence is mostly stylistic, as opposed to blood and gore, which I hate. Sigh. This is just one of those times on the parenting path where you gotta comprimise.

The hubby will have to deal with "the fallout", if there is any.

It'll work out. Thanks for your input, GIC. :hi:

[miss_american_pie]

4. I don't think you're crazy

But apparently I'm crazy because I don't think my hubby and our four year old should throw stuffed animals at each other in the house.

:shrug:

Enjoy your evening.

[Shine]

6. LOL! Just wait, today stuffed animals, tomorrow R rated movies...

:rofl:

[supernova]

7. Gotta say

Eh. To this one. Being 12 and watching R rated isn't a big deal in this household.

The Matrix is largely cartoon-style violence, for all it has live actors. I think the lesson it teaches about looking for the deeper meaning of things is worth it. Besides your hubby can answer any questions he has.

I love The Matrix btw.

[Shine]

8. I agree. I think it's actually a pretty deep movie, on many levels.

we even own all of the DVD's, heheh.

Yup, I'm over it. I'm lettin' it go. Passing the buck to the hubby. He can deal.

It's all good.

Thanks, supernova!

[Evergreen Emerald]

9. I know how you feel

My friends allowed my young daughter to watch the Matrix. I had no idea they were going to show it at a sleep over. A sleep over for young girls! What the hell?!
I am with you and believe that it is inappropriate to show violence like that to little kids.

[aclog]

10. When I was about that age I wanted to see RoboCop

so my parents watched it in advance and then let me watch it but fast-forwarded through parts they thought I couldn't handle

I was more scarred by the parental lameness than the violence or whatever

If there was nudity/simulated sex I think you would have a better case. But honestly, at about 11 yo I remember seeing some crappy movie with a sex scene in with the girl on top and at the time it was funny as hell to us. my friends and I giggled about it for days...

[Shine]

11. LOL!! "...scarred by parental lameness"

:rofl: yeah, that's me. I'm parentally lame.

Jeez, you do the best ya can and YOU KNOW they're gonna end up in therapy, no matter what. ;) Oh well, screw it.


:hi:

[Radical Activist]

12. The Matrix isn't all that bad.

I don't know why a big deal was made about that over other violent films.

[bigwillq]

13. Over protective

sure there is some violence in that movie but he could be watching something much worse.

:hi:

[Gatchaman]

14. The Matrix is a very "soft" R

No nudity (unless you use the CAP-Alert definition of nudity), no gore, no real bloodshed. It's got some imagery that might be considered disturbing, but it's nothing a 12 year old shouldn't be able to handle.

[bigwillq]

15. I've seen it.

Not sure if Shine has. You might want to post a reply to her. :hi:

[hickman1937]

17. I used to do this. LOl.

:blush: 'd alot back then.

[crispini]

16. I was 14 when I saw my first R rated movie.

The original "Alien." Scared the living crap out of me! I had nightmares. Didn't tell anyone, though! :D

[LeftyMom]

18. I *still* can't watch that movie

:scared:

[tigereye]

19. my husband picked some scenes from the Matrix films

that he thought my son would enjoy and find interesting visually and exciting.... mostly the "multiple agents fighting with Neo" scenes. I had mixed feelings, since I thought some of it was too violent, but actually probably not a lot more intense than some of the games we allow him to play. He'll be 10 and we have let him see several PG-13 movies, but not generally R ones.

It's a dilemma all right. I think if parents watch it with the kids and discuss during and after, that ameliorates some of the violence/intensity. I do agree that a steady diet of this kind of stuff gives a pretty weird view of life however, and probably reinforces the view that violence is acceptable.

Not an easy one.

on edit, one of the comments made by a teacher at my son's progressive school. " 8 year olds love Hamlet since they love the blood and gore." Just some food for thought. :rofl: