DU parents, I have a question for you:

[Dark]

Poll question: DU parents, I have a question for you:

Did you drink or do drugs when you were younger? And how do you feel about your kids expiramenting?

As for those without kids, how would you feel, if you had kids, about your kids drinking?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

1. Other--I myself am a minor, and my parents would KILL me if I touched

drugs and/or alcohol before turning 18.

:D :D :D

[Dark]

2. Do you think you'll do the same thing with your kids? n/t

[WritingIsMyReligion]

4. If I were to have any: Yup.

Once they reach 18, I can't do anything about it, but any minors under my roof will keep away from drugs and alcohol.

[gollygee]

3. It's probably more individual than that

I drank but didn't play around with drugs, but my husband drank and experimented with drugs.

How upset I'd get about it would depend on the specific kid, what specifically happened, and what specific drug was experimented with.

[Dark]

5. That seems like a good attitude, cause mary jane and meth are different.

Very different.

[tjwmason]

6. No children - but I'd raise mine to drink.

There's nothing wrong with a 12 year-old having half a glass of wine with dinner on a special occasion; show them that alcohol can be a good thing when dealt with properly.

I've never played around with drugs, and wouldn't want my (hypothetical) children to either.

[Dark]

7. Yea, that's a good idea. Teach them how to drink without getting drunk. nt

[DainBramaged]

8. I did both until my daughter was born then stopped cold turkey

Except for the rare can of beer, I no longer drink at all. And I've told her I did. I also told her if she finds a need to do drugs, because of this day and age, she is subject to random piss tests in her high school and she will take a drug test for every employment application she fills out. She can make a choice, do drugs and avoid legitimate employment while going to school, or stay clean and enjoy her life.

She is permitted to drink around us if she chooses. She has tried beer wine and hard liquor, and has turned her nose up to them. She does not smoke, and it upsets her physically being around people who smoke, weed or cigarettes.

I hope we did well bringing her up, but 30 years ago, the only thing they could threaten you with was overeating. And records got lost and buried.

Not today.

[China_cat]

9. I drank and did drugs

and endangered nobody else's property but my own. With today's confiscation laws, I'm not about to risk everything we've worked for by allowing someone else...even if I gave birth to it...to drink under age or do drugs in my house.

[Dark]

10. I see what you mean, but are you opposed to your kid doing drugs, or

doing them on your property?

[China_cat]

11. I'd rather they didn't

but I know that that isn't going to cut any ice with a kid. My reasons are out there, I've done my talking and if they're still determined to go ahead, the only thing I can do is try to protect myself from being part of the consequences of their actions.

I have one son who's an alcoholic. (he's an adult) While alcohol is legal, his actions under the influence could become violent. I finally told him "I can't stop you from drinking, I won't even try. But not here. You want to get drunk and get stupid, get a motel room". It helped.

[trof]

12. We drink and our daughter does.

We first offered her a glass of wine with dinner when she was 15 or 16.
More often than not she declined.
I am a fairly heavy user, 6-8 Scotches almost every evening.
Miz t. is a moderate drinker.
Our lovely daughter is in her mid 30s and she's what I would call an occasional drinker.

I think making it taboo does more harm than good.
Our daughter's first college roommate came from a very strict, tea-totaling, fundamentalist family.
She was drunk for most of the first semester.

[skygazer]

13. As with most things, it's not cut and dried

Experimenting with things that are taboo is part of a kid's way of showing their independence. "Do as I say, not as I do (or did)" has never worked well with any kid.

I smoked weed and dropped acid as a young'un and I drank (still do, for that matter). Later, I used harder drugs. I never lied to my kids about my experiences - I think that's a big mistake. Kids aren't dumb and if you want honesty from them, you better be prepared to give it back. I never glorified it nor did I exagerrate the negative aspects of my experiences. I always told my kids I would prefer they not try drugs and made it clear they could talk to me about anything, which they did.

True to form, my girls both tried pot and dabbled with it for a bit but both stopped using it quite early. They both drink moderately and socially. Neither of them has tried or has ever had any desire to try harder drugs and the biggest disappointment to me was that they both began smoking cigarettes. My younger daughter has since quit but my oldest still does. Frankly, I'd rather see her smoking pot.

My personal opinion is that it's a mistake with drinking in particular to make it such a huge taboo. Drinking is legal and socially acceptable and when done responsibly, it's not particularly harmful. When kids are aggressively kept away from alcohol, it becomes abnormally alluring and you end up with kids turning 21 who have never had a drink in their life and they're shooting 21 shots and dying. I think it's healthy and sensible to allow a kid to try small drinks within a family social setting so that it's not this big status symbol.

My .02 cents.

[Cats Against Frist]

14. I used to drink heavily, and dabbled in drugs

My boyfriend, and father of my child was a tripper and IS a disgusting alcoholic. I really don't know what to think about what to teach my son. Hopefully he sees how ugly and pathetic his father is -- lacking all empathy, spirit, motivation, care. Hopefully, some way we can find a positive male role model to take the place of the stumbling dumbass who lives in my house.

I've thought about it, a lot -- my son is only four -- and I can't decide whether to go with the European plan and give the kid wine growing up, crossing my fingers that it doesn't trip whatever nasty genes he got from his mom's family of alcoholics (my bf's brother lives in and out of treatment centers, and had his parental rights terminated for his two kids), or to forbid it and freak out and threaten to heighten his curiosity, further. Either way, I'm probably screwed.

I, myself, drink lightly -- probably 1-2 drinks a week, and no drugs for a long time. If I were in a different situation, where alcoholism didn't run in the family, I'd probably have a lot better plan.

[rbnyc]

15. I've done it all and I think...

...that all drugs are not the same and all kids are not the same. But, in general, I think I took a terrible risk with myself given what I now know about how the brain develops. In general, I prefer my son wait until he's in his 20s to experiment, and limit is to things that grow naturally, or fermented natural things.

At the same time, when I was a teenager, the kids who did acid and smoked pot were way more intelligent, interesting, imaginative, open-minded and kind than many of the kids who didn't.

Would I rather have my son be a sweet, generous, head or a homophobic jock? Well, I'd rather he not be homophobic or mean, that's for sure.

[LeftyMom]

16. I barely drink and I've never done anything else

As a matter of parenting and concern for his safety alone, I really woudn't care if LK smoked pot. To be perfectly honest, I'd rather he did that than drink, except for the legal concerns. Hopefully our drug laws will be slightly less stupid by the time LK's old enough for it to matter, but if they're not I'd hope he wouldn't risk it.

[Debi]

17. I'd take back all I did in a hearbeat

My kid and his friends are sooooo straight-laced and good kids. I realize what I missed out on thinking I needed to party to be cool and have fun. Man, who'd a thought the nerds were really the cool kids?!

[ContraBass Black]

18. I think I'm going to not have kids

So that I don't have to bother with this kind of question. :D

[miss_american_pie]

19. That's a complicated question

I drank at a party when I was 17.

I was raised Catholic. We drank wine in church every week. It never seemed like something worth the hassle. And I was always too much of a control freak to even want to experiment with anything else.

As for my kids, I'd prefer they not drink until they are of age, and leave everything else alone. I'm not sure how realistic that is, and figure I better make sure they feel comfortable discussing it with me.

[lady raven]

20. Goody two shoes

That's me. And I have addiction in my genes. So I'm glad I stayed away and I definitely want my kids to stay away from abusing alcohol or using drugs.

I had my first drink at 20 when I was living in England (legal there at that age). I have never been drunk. Maybe I'm missing out, but I figure I can have fun and feel good in other ways.

[YankeyMCC]

21. I don't want my son to have to repeat my mistakes

and of course I don't want him getting addicted to any form of drug.

I know he'll experiment, perhaps I would even be concerned if he didn't experiment with drugs (alcohol or otherwise), but it really depends on the direction his interests and life in general takes him. I also know I can't somehow impart all the lessons I learned, some things just have to be learned on your own. But I plan to be honest (if not explicit) about my experiences (in fact I've already talked about it somewhat with him) with him about my experiences and the good and bad about them. That in conjunction with what I'll teach him in general about being responsible, thoughtful and how to make good decisions for himself and others around him is the best I can do for him. And I don't mean "well that's all I can do" I mean I think that's the best background I can give him for a good life.

[tjdee]

22. I'm proud to have been a prude, LOL.

I didn't drink until I was 21, and have never done drugs. I managed to have friends, a life, fun, etc., go figure. I still don't get the point of doing any kind of drug. :shrug:

If my kid thinks they want to smoke up and get smashed/throw up all over somewhere, aww HELL naw.

I expect she'll do it anyway though. :(