I'm using a popcorn smiley. Are you? - Democratic Underground

RandomKoolzip

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Thu Feb-09-06 11:27 AM
Original message

I'm using a popcorn smiley. Are you?

:popcorn:

I use this smiley (some call it an emoticon) in order to shield myself from legitimate, but differing opinions.

:popcorn:

I also use it as a lighthearted joke; when I feel like expressing an opinion I know others will find unpopular, I simply write the word "popcorn" between two colons, and VOYLAH! Anything I say is reduced to a joke. For instance:

SUBJECT: "Hitler was straight-up representin'.

TEXT: :popcorn:"

See? Instant innoculation from criticism.

:popcorn:

I also use it because, frankly, I like to eat popcorn.

:popcorn:

There are other uses for our friend, the Popcorn Smiley (here on out referred to as the "PS.").

For instance, when one DUer posts flamebait (i.e. an opinion he/she knows will be unpopular, but posts anyways in a desperate bid for attention, the kind he/she never got from his/her parents), other astute DUers will mock his/her attempts to hog the spotlight by simply doing this:

:popcorn:

Others will then chime in, replying:

"Let me have some of that. :popcorn:"

This is the natural order of things. It's as American as Orville Reddenbacher.

Other uses for the PS:

Substitute for reasonable discussion
Bludgeon with which to hit the Lounge over the head, repeatedly
Rinses tye-dye
You can use it to jimmy door locks, like a credit card
Emits deadly lasers from its curly kernels
Owns a puppy farm in Western Connecticut
Shoots men just to watch them die
Applies mascara to the armless
Two PS, stacked on top of one another, can result in mind-blowing simultaneous orgasm for two or more onlookers
Invades China
Tasers your grandmother
Clips coupons
Makes freepers of us all
Can light cigarettes from 600 yards away
Knows the name of every Portuguese person on Earth
Brings you up when you're down, brings you down when you're up
Insults Led Zeppelin
Gives off a tangy, unpleasant odor that keeps raccoons away
Makes fun of midgets
Balances your checkbook
Oozes confidence
Can turn an ordinary meal into a FIESTA!!
Changes the cartridges in your printer; replaces them with Folger's Crystals
Farts
Insists on riding shotgun
Assassinates presidents and never gets caught
Gives your roommates AIDS
Waters your plants when you're too stoned to get up and do it yourself, you fucking filthy hippie pig
Collates your parking tickets
Imagines a better world, then creates it using only a tube of magnesium, a bicycle horn, and six Glad trash bags, just like McGyver
Makes Steven Seagal look like a pansy-pants
Becomes Attorney General
Hunts whales
Can make catty comments about that shirt you're wearing right now, but chooses to hold its tongue
Gives Dengue Fever to republicans
Looks marvelous in a pith helmet
AND MANY MANY MORE!

:popcorn:

So take it from me, buds: The POPCORN SMILEY is here to stay! Use one today!

(brought to you by the Popcorn Smiley Council, PO Box 666, Chicago Illinois, member FDIC)