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Renew Deal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-13-06 03:18 PM
Original message
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich...
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The
waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a
coke," and turns to the ostrich,

"What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $9.40
please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change
for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A
hamburger, fries and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his
pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the
waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on
the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket
every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes.

My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put
my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million
dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long
as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "But wait a minute ... What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with
a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
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ZombieNixon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-13-06 03:30 PM
Response to Original message
1. Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
I-I'm sorry, I just can't bring myself to do it! :cry:
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-13-06 03:33 PM
Response to Original message
2. A man pulls out a miniature piano and sets it on the bar....
"the genie must have been hard of hearing!"
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Beer Snob-50 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-13-06 03:33 PM
Response to Original message
3. not as good as the brazillian joke
but i did send it on to a few friends.
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Patiod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-13-06 03:40 PM
Response to Original message
4. A man walks into a tavern, and puts a suitcase on the bar
Edited on Mon Feb-13-06 03:41 PM by Patiod
"If I show you something that you agree is absolutely amazing, will you give me a free drink?" he asks the bartender.

"Yeah, but I'm REALLY tough to impress" says the bartender.

So the guy opens the case, and out jumps this tiny little Elton John, complete with a tiny piano, little sequined suit, eyeglasses, and everything, and he starts playing and singing "Crocodile Rock".

The bartender shakes his head and says "Okay, you got me there. Here's your drink. But you gotta tell me the story behind that one."

The guy shakes his head and says "I found this old lamp, and rubbed it, and out popped a genii. The genie gave me one wish. Unfortunately he was hard of hearing, and thought I asked for a 10" pianist."

/edit -- Allegro -- you beat me to it!!!!
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-13-06 05:01 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. You told it better than I could.
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