I just found out my brother-in-law died last night

[CornField]

Just 2 weeks after he retired... massive heart attack.

The worst of it is my sister who knows absolutely nothing about their family finances. Not only was she in tears about her husband dying, but she was crying because she had a check in her purse which needed to be deposited and she didn't even know which bank they used. She doesn't know anything about their finances, their insurance, or anything. She's completely and totally lost.

Please, please, please... don't let this happen to you. Sit down and have a chat with your significant other. Discuss the family finances. Discuss the hard stuff.

[XemaSab]

1. Wow... that's awful

So sorry for you and your sister! :(

[Left Is Write]

2. I'm so sorry...

:hug:

[applegrove]

3. So sorry.

[mdmc]

4. I 'm sorry to hear this

peace...

[Pithlet]

5. I'm sorry for your loss.

:hug: That is good advice you give.

[CottonBear]

6. I am so very sorry.

:hug: Will you be able to help your sister with the paperwork and sorting out of finances? Your advice is very good. Everyone should know about their family's finances.

My Dad died suddenly when I was 18. It was awful. Fortunately, my mom was in charge of all of the household finances and did just fine financially.

[CornField]

12. I hope to travel there, but I won't know for sure until tonight

after I talk everything over with my husband. We still have our three children to think about - making sure they have someone to look after them, get them to school and so-forth. I'm sure my mother-in-law will help if she is in town.

I'm the baby of 13 so my sister won't be alone. My other sister who lives only about 5 hours away from her is already on the road. She'll be there by dinnertime. There are six within semi-close driving distance and they will all be there tonight. I might even put off heading to Oklahoma until after everyone else has to leave. I'm sure my sister will still need some support after the funeral and everything else is done.

[CottonBear]

14. That sounds like a good plan.

With 12 siblings your sister should have plenty of love and help during this difficult time. (13 siblings! WOW!) :hug:

[Ron Mexico]

7. My deepest condolences...

...and thanks for a really good piece of advice.

[China_cat]

8. Please do all you can to help her.

She's open to being taken advantage of (big time) without the knowledge of where things are and what needs to be taken care of.

[skygazer]

9. How sad

That's very good advice - both parties in a marriage need to have that information. It's awful to be left helpless.

My condolences to your sister - that's got to be a horrible feeling on top of losing your husband. :hug:

[Nikia]

10. Condolences to your family

I hope that your sister gets everything straightened out with the finances. It must be a terrible time for her for both reasons.

[Redstone]

11. This happens more than you'd think. Mrs R's ex-father-in law has gotten

the Alzheimer's pretty bad, and her ex-mother-in-law never learned a damn thing about money, and never even learned how to drive.

So her ex-husband is trying to help this situation out, but he's in California and his parents are in Arizona, so he's going to have to find a nice home for them. Bummer...I was looking forward to meeting the old guy some day, too.

Anyway, Mrs R was terrified of even paying the household bills when I met her, but I told her she had to find the self-confidence somewhere and give herself credit for having some brains...now she owns her own bookkeeping business.

Listen to CornField, people!

Redstone

[mvd]

13. Very sorry

My thoughts are with you and your family. :-(

[Patiod]

15. Good advice

My dad gave my mom the checkbook a few years ago, and told her she had to be in charge of the finances so she could handle it one day if she had to. She's much more comfortable with everything now.

[livetohike]

16. I'm sorry for your loss CornField

:hug: and you are absolutely right with your financial advice. I went through this with my Mom when my Dad passed away in Nov. 2004.

My sympathy to you and your family.

[friesianrider]

17. I'm so very sorry CornField...

Your advice is very good - how horrible for your poor sister. My thoughts and prayers are with your family during this difficult time. :hug:

[Shine]

18. OMG, how devastating! Please accept my deepest sympathies.

Your sister's situation is a painful reminder of how important it is to work out these financial details ahead of time. I'm so sorry she's having to go through this. A painful lesson, indeed. :(

My best good wishes to you and your whole family during this difficult time. :hug:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

19. I'm so very sorry

My sincere prayers, thoughts, condolences, and sympathies are extended to you, your sister and to all those who knew and loved your brother-in-law :hug: :hug: I'll keep you, your sister and your family in my thoughts and prayers

[bigwillq]

20. What terrible news.

Send my love and thoughts to your sister. :hug:

[GardeningGal]

21. Where does she live?

If she's in the Denver metro area I'd give her any help that I can. I handled most of my parents finances after my father became too ill to handle it.

Make sure she gets someone who can help her and she can refer all phone calls to. I trained my elderly mother to direct all financial calls to me since the elderly are targets. She even gave a couple of those that called my phone number....and guess what! I never got a call from any of them. That's the most important thing to get her to understand.

[CornField]

22. That is extremely nice of you

Unfortunately, she isn't near Denver. She lives in Oklahoma.

[miss_american_pie]

23. I'm sorry for your loss

:hug: