Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses

[LynneSin]

http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/

Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses


10. "Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm"

9. "Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page"

8. "Not enough Jim Beam"

7. "Trying to stop the spread of bird flu"

6. "I love to shoot people"

5. "Guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter"

4. "I thought the guy was trying to go 'gay cowboy' on me"

3. "Excuse? I hit him, didn't I?"

2. "Until Democrats approve medicare reform, we have to make some tough choices for the elderly"

1. "Made a bet with Gretzky's wife"

[ghostsofgiants]

1. Haha, #6 is the best.

[Viking12]

2. another Top 10 list:

From the home office in blue-state New York, here’s Vice President Dick Cheney’s top 10 excuses for shooting fellow hunter Harry Whittington on Saturday:

10. Sick and tired of Whittington’s “Hey, I’m having a heart attack” jokes

9. Pushed over edge by Dixie Chicks and Streisand blasting on pick-up truck stereo

8. Ongoing dispute over whether it’s acceptable to torture quail before shooting them

7. Thought he saw Michael Moore on other side of tree line

6. Bombed out of his gourd on Wild Turkey and Lone Star Beer

5. Companion’s ill-advised decision to wear Moveon.org sweatshirt

4. Was trying to impress Jodie Foster

3. Whittington’s repeated ribbing that Bush is actually the “real president”

2. Targeting scope on rifle made by Halliburton

And the number one excuse given by Dick Cheney for almost blowing away hunting companion Harry Whittington…

1. Because he’s a wartime vice president, damn it

http://bobgeiger.blogspot.com/2006/02/dick-cheneys-top-10-excuses-for.html

[Viking12]

3. Top 11 Reasons for the 24 Hour Delay in Reporting Cheney Hunting Accident

Top 11 Reasons for the 24 Hour Delay in Reporting Dick Cheney’s Hunting Accident

11. It took a while for The Wolf to arrange the cleanup

10. Thought Federal law mandating 24 hour cool down period for firearms was for AFTER they were fired.

9. Didn’t want to be distracted by a lot of questions until after the Men’s 20km biathalon

8. Cheney wanted to make sure he hadn't taken Whittington out of season.

7. Didn’t want the press to immediately declare the hunting trip a quagmire

6. Mistakenly thought that the Nihilist in Golf Pants wouldn’t be able to come up with a top 11 list on a Sunday

5. Wanted to arrange a couple more hunting trips before the word got out

4. Had a tough time tying Whittington to the hood to bring him into town

3. Ted Kennedy always saying that you should wait 24 hours before reporting an accident

2. Had to debrief the Halliburton board first

1. Needed time to falsify intelligence showing that Whittington had WMDs

http://www.nihlist.blogspot.com/ (warning:puke blogger)