I've typed out and deleted the same post about five times...

[Maddy McCall]

Well, I provided too much detail in the posts I deleted, but I just want to say that I had an awesome Valentine's Day until, on my long commute home from work tonight, through rural Mississippi, I came upon a dead man in the highway who had just been hit by an SUV. I was the fourth person on the scene. Don't want to go into any more detail about that but to say--

MMjr wanted to go to work with me this afternoon--and he was in the car with me when we came upon the body. He became sick to his stomach--traffic was completely blocked so we couldn't go forward and we couldn't go back. I had to hold him up while he puked in the ditch.

I don't know anything about the dead man except that he was killed instantly--I don't know why he was walking down the centerline of the highway when he was hit.

I'm ok--but MMjr. is pretty traumatized. Please send warm thoughts out to him tonight. :hug:

[Floogeldy]

1. Strength to you and MMjr.

Show strength. Love to you.

[Maddy McCall]

2. Thanks, Floogeldy.

:hug:

[Hissyspit]

3. That's pretty rough experience, Maddy.

Warm thoughts to you AND MMjr. :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

4. I'm ok...

but this was tough on MMjr. :( Thanks for your warm thoughts. :hug:

[FuzzySlippers]

5. How horrible! Poor kid.

Here's a hug for MMjr. :hug: and one for you, too. :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

9. Thanks, Fuzzy.

:hug:

[Oeditpus Rex]

6. How old is your young'un?

I'm guessing old enough to be in school, if he knew what a dead body is. I'd suggest letting his school know what happened. Something like that's traumatic enough for an adult, let alone a kid.

I had to roll on a few fatal accidents as a small-town newspaper editor. The first time, I reacted much like MMjr. I didn't throw up, but I thought I was going to.

Hugs to both of you. :hug: :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

12. Yeah, he's 12.

I'm OK--I'm a first responder with the vol. FD in my hometown. But my first rule is that MMjr never responds with me.

When I was 12, I saw my first dead body--my father was a firefighter, and I went to a house fire with him, in which an elderly, disabled woman was burned to death. I had nightmares for months after that. Children just ought not have to see dead people. Ever. But sometimes, it can't be helped. There were other children in cars at the scene--evidently families were out together celebrating Valentine's Day--one child was only 5 or 6. :(

MMjr. is homeschooled, so I'll be able to keep an eye on him...if I feel that he's having any problems getting over it, I'll certainly get help for him.

Thank you for the hugs, Rex. :hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

7. How awful!

I'm sorry you guys had such a damper on your Valentine's Day! :grouphug:

Here's hoping tomorrow is better, especially for MMjr!

[Maddy McCall]

14. GoG...thank you.

I'm hoping tomorrow is better, too. :( :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

8. oh, how awful!

How old is MMJr? How he reacts will give you cues on how to deal with what happened. Has he experienced the death of someone before? Have you talked about death? And, does he share his feelings openly, or does he keep things inside?

All I can offer is love, support, and prayers. And they're yours. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

17. Yes, he's lost his favorite great-grandmother...

We've lost close family friends. We've talked about death from old age, but not anything like this.

He just turned 12--I sat him down when we got home, and I told him that he should come to me if he has any feelings about this that he needs to discuss.

I have a big, overstuffed sectional couch in my living room...he's on the couch right now--I'm letting him sleep on one side of the sectional, and I'm going to sleep on the other side. He seems ok--a couple of days will tell.

He's told me "I love you" at least 10 times since we got home.

Thank you, Rev, so much for your offer. :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

22. You know, he's one lucky kid.

Because he has YOU for his mom! :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

29. Well, he'd be luckier if YOU...

were our pastor. :hug:

I'm going to be home with him tomorrow...like I said above, we homeschool, so I'll keep an eye on him. Tomorrow afternoon, we have a few errands to run, and I'll make the afternoon all about him so that HE knows I love him and to give him plenty of opportunity to talk about it if he wants.

My DU friends are the greatest. :hug:

[sarahinmexico]

42. Especially Rev. Cheesehead

The Rev is, above all, pragmatic.(sorry, I lurk quite a bit). Your child is very fortunate that he has you. You seem very down to earth. Hugs to both of you.

[Straight Shooter]

10. That's a rough experience at any age, but especially so young.

I remember seeing a car accident victim being tended to when I was about 25. I didn't mean to look, but it was right in my line of sight. The paramedic was holding up the victim's arm, feeling for a pulse, I guess. The arm was ghostly white. My stomach churned. The image is still burned in my brain.

He'll need a lot of comfort from you, bless his heart. Please give him this from everyone at DU ... :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

18. Thank you, Straight Shooter.

Your post means very much to me. It reminds me that even though he's a big boy, I need to watch him to make sure that he's dealing with this ok.

:hug:

[Straight Shooter]

27. He'll be okay as long as you are there for him.

I'll keep him in my thoughts as I sign off for the night. You need a hug, too. :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

31. Thank you, dear.

Thank you so very much. :hug: back to you.

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

11. Good Lord, Maddy, what an awful end to a lovely Valentine's Day.

Here's a :hug: and one for MMjr too :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

19. Thanks--I am hurting for the family of the dead man.

I don't know any personal details about him, and no family showed up at the scene. We were in a rural area about 60 miles from my hometown, so I didn't know anyone at the scene to talk to about it...

Talk about a terrible Valentine's Day. Certainly someone loved that man. I would hate to be them tonight.

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

13. How horrible for you both, my dear Maddy.....

Please give lots of hugs and love to your son...I know you will.....

Here are what I can offer......wish I could do more.....

:grouphug: :hug: :grouphug: :hug: :grouphug:

[Maddy McCall]

20. Thank you, Peggy.

I'm watching him right now. He's watching the Olympics, and I'm hoping he drifts off to sleep soon.

Thanks for your hugs. :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

15. Oh Maddy. I'm very sorry for both of you.

It's not easy to witness death at any age.
I'm sending warm thoughts for both of you!

[Maddy McCall]

23. Thanks very much, Joan.

I just hope I can be the mother I need to be when my kiddo goes through something like this. :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

33. I'm sure you'll handle it just right.

Here is a though for you: perhaps you should talk to his school tomorrow. I'm sure there will be talk about what happened. The teachers should know the reason why MMjr may be a little more sensitive to things for awhile.

[Maddy McCall]

37. Well, we are lucky in that aspect...

he's homeschooled, so I'm planning a really easy day for him tomorrow. Tomorrow evening he's got plans with some of his guy friends--so I hope that that will be ok for him.

:hug: Thanks so much for your advice. I'll watch him closely.

[Wapsie B]

16. Hugs to you and MMjr.

I can't imagine the horror of that. My heart also goes out to that man's family wherever they may be.

:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

24. Yes--I said above...

I hope he has family nearby--no one showed up at the scene. :cry:

Thanks for the hugs :hug:

[SeattleGirl]

21. Oh my goodness, MM

That wouldn't be pleasant for anyone, but for a child to witness that! Hugs to MMjr, and to you.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

26. He's a resillient kid...but he's still a kid, you know?

He's lying on the couch now watching a replay of the Olympics...acting like nothing's really wrong, except he keeps telling me over and over that he loves me...

I'm keeping my eye on him, and I so much appreciate being able to talk to DUers when it's too late at night to talk to my friends here. Thank you so much for caring, SG. :hug:

[SeattleGirl]

30. You are very welcome, MM

My daughter is 26, and yes, she's still my baby. The parental instinct to protect our children never goes away.

:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

34. So true...

I can't ever imagine him not being my baby. :hug:

[Mikimouse]

25. What an awful experience, for both of you...

I hope that MMjr will be able to talk to you about it and gain some measure of peace. I'm sending my best vibes and thoughts to you both.

[Maddy McCall]

28. Thank you, Mikimouse.

I appreciate the good vibes. I'm hoping he will talk about it, too. :hug:

[Whoa_Nelly]

32. Wishing MMJr and you continued conversation

when he wants or needs it.

Glad you are so close with him. You're both very lucky to have each other.

Sending you thoughts of strength and peace.

Nelly

[Maddy McCall]

36. That's exactly what I want...

to be able to see the signs that I need to see, to be able to be the right kind of listener that he needs right now.

He is my special gift--my life has been difficult, but this child is the best thing that ever happened to me. And, in return, I hope I can be the mother he needs tonight and tomorrow.

He's watching figure skating on the Olympics right now. He seems to be settled, so I'm going to sign out of DU and just give him some big hugs right now.

Thank you so much, Nelly, for your good wishes. :hug:

[deadparrot]

35. I'm sorry to hear that, Maddy.

I'm sure your son handled it better than I would have. Kids shouldn't have to deal with that kind of stuff.:scared:

:hug::hug::hug: to both of you. I hope MMjr feels better soon.

[Maddy McCall]

38. I know...they shouldn't have to deal with it.

Adulthood and all its trappings comes soon enough, you know?

Thanks for your good wishes, DP. :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

39. DU friends, thank you so much for your kindness. Good night.

I'm going to log off of DU and watch the rest of the Olympics with MMjr.

Thank you for lending me a shoulder and an ear when it was too late in the evening for me to call my local friends.

You all are the best! :hug:

[BikeWriter]

40. That's a distressing thing for adults! I'm so sorry it happened...

...and the two of you saw it!

[sarahinmexico]

41. I'm so sorry

even for an adult that is mind bending to take in. I am thinking of both of you.:hug: