Whack-job's sicko marriage contract.

[Jara sang]

Is "whack-job" hyphenated?

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

[MissMillie]

1. I don't see anywhere in the contract where he's supposed to

do anything for his spouse.....


One-sided marriage.... yeah, that'll last-----NOT!

[hyphenate]

4. Yes--he's definitely a whackjob

No hyphenation required! :) (In fact, I'd rather NOT be associated with his kind!)

[hyphenate]

2. What a fucking lunatic!!!!

He needs to be drawn up and quartered. Either that, or given to Bubba in prison so he can perform his own "wifely" duties as expected. Any woman that would submit to this fucker's "contract" needs to be admitted to a psych ward as quickly as possible, because there ain't NO WAY IN HELL a sane woman would allow that shit.

[LaraMN]

3. But he's so cuuuute!

Oh wait, no he's not.

[hyphenate]

5. Uh, no

Perhaps he'd be "cuter" with the meat cleaver sticking out of his chest, which is where it would be if I had my say (in a marriage with him!)!

[LaraMN]

6. Nah, it'd be far more fun to abandon him naked on a highway.

:bounce:

[hyphenate]

7. lol!

Too true, too true! :rofl:

[Left Is Write]

8. Abandon him nearly naked on a highway...

with a perfectly measured rectangular strip of 3/4-inch pubic hair.

And thong panties.

[LaraMN]

10. Bwahahaha! LIW!

You slay me!:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
PERFECT!

[hyphenate]

18. How about instead of thong panties

we fix him up with one of those thong bathing suits--the one that barely supports and barely covers all of his precious jewels?

The one seen in this pic?




That should, if nothing else, take the steam out of his prick while he's wearing it! :rofl:

[redqueen]

9. I want to know what kind of woman would sign that thing!

:rofl:

[Benfea]

33. That was my first thought exactly.

This guy's clearly nutters, but any woman who read that "contract" and married the guy rather than run away screaming for an opposite coast must be pretty insane herself.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

11. I want five minutes alone with this guy

and a thong, a razor, and a pair of thigh highs.

[Initech]

12. Yikes, what a total nutbar!

Any woman who signs that, well... :yoiks:

[redqueen]

13. Oh I get it.. .it's not a marriage contract - it's a SEX SLAVE contract.

So... duh.

[laheina]

26. Thus the pornographic decorative caps. nt

[asthmaticeog]

14. Boy, what a catch he is:

"Fellatio must last at least 5 minutes and may include climax."

5 whole minutes may include climax, stud?

Never mind the guy's obvious and terrifying control issues - that clause should send the bride-to-be fleeing.

[philosophie_en_rose]

21. And he needs 20 porn pictures per month.

:eyes:

That control freak certainly hasn't earned any Good Behavior Days.

[eyepaddle]

15. Yeah, I just saw that via DKos

and knew it'd already be up here. What a completely vile ass that man is--how in the world did HE get married in the first place? Were there drugs or firearms involved?

On the plus side, she turned that "contract" over to the cops, so I guess we can say it surely backfired.

:puke:

[Patiod]

16. She says she didn't sign it

I would give my RIGHT ARM to know someone in his county who could look up whether he is registered Republican or Democrat (like I'm even in doubt)

[MissB]

17. Yes, and he is accused of kidnapping her.

Freak.

[jmowreader]

19. The best part is where she's supposed to initial each line

Is there a "contract of husbandly expectations" in reciprocation?

It's a good thing we sell car jacks, because I told a couple of people at work about this contract and I hadda use a car jack to get their jaws off the floor. It seems to be the exact specifications for shaving that does it for most people. The "you lose good behavior days if you stop doing something just because it hurts" clause does it for everyone else. Imagine: your so-called husband is causing you to drip blood out of your ass, you tell him to stop, you're in trouble for it. And if you've exhausted your good-behavior days, you get tied to the bed and raped.

[philosophie_en_rose]

20. Oh my god!

I'm no prude, but his "MY TIME" is just disgusting. She has to be naked? She has to do whatever he wants (including anal and swallowing?) whenever he wants. She can't refuse; all she can do is turn in "Good Behavior Days." She's noncompliant if she complains - even if "it" hurts???!!!!

This guy is just disgusting.

[hyphenate]

22. This little snippet arrived this morning:

Speaking of alleged American psychos: An Iowa man who’s facing charges of attempting to kidnap his wife, as well as a separate child-porn rap, is apparently more of a detail stickler than Gekko. In a four-page “Wifely Expectations” covenant obtained by police (and TheSmokingGun.com), 33-year-old Travis Frey established strict hygiene, clothing and sexual activities guidelines for his spouse, covering everything from cuddle time to skirt lengths to pubic-hair maintenance (!), as well as rules for “My Time,” during which she would never “cry, sob, whine or pout” or “be distracted from me by other things.” Reportedly, Big Tiny at the local prison digs the contract so much he’s drawn up a similar one and eagerly awaits Frey’s possible arrival.

emphasis is mine

http://www.slweekly.com/editorial/2006/fbyte_2006-02-23.cfm

[derby378]

23. derby's quick and dirty solution

Surprise him with a magnesium "flash-bang" grenade so he can't see - at least for a while. His hearing may get a little damaged, too.

While he's blind, strip him naked and strap a pair of thong panties and some fishnet thigh-high stockings on his sorry ass.

Then lock him in a women's bathroom - at a lesbian bar.

Sit back, crack open a couple of beers, and watch the wacky hijinks ensue!!

God, I love America...

[Zookeeper]

24. I saw that last night and almost posted it myself....

However, I felt absolutely nauseous after reading it. "Whack-job" and "Sicko" is an understatement.

Even more disturbing is that this couple has children.

[MrScorpio]

25. A-Fucking-Mazing!

What a fucking nut!

[Canuckistanian]

27. I read this earlier

And for the life of me, I'll never know why the wife didn't run screaming at the top of her lungs when she saw the first reference to her anus.

[Zookeeper]

32. Isn't that the truth!

:spray: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[u4ic]

28. Look! He even goes to church

:eyes:

"all skirts no lower than two inches below the knee (unless it's for Church)"

Maggot. :grr:

[Common Sense Party]

29. But then he gets mad at his wife for taking their daughters

to church.

What a sick, sick loser.

[amitten]

31. I guess God just doesn't notice when the guy is

anal raping his wife?

CHURCH??? :wtf:

[NMMNG]

30. I've seen that

The wife should have left his sorry a$$ the minute she saw that bizarre, control freak's 'contract'. I know I would have, after telling him where he could shove it.