I think my dogs are lesbian. What to do?

[UrbScotty]

I got one dog a year ago and another as few months ago.

Lately I've noticed them kissing each other, and I've become concerned about their sexuality.

Should I be concerned? Should I send them to a canine vrersion of one of those camps where they train you to be heterosexual?

[proud2BlibKansan]

1. Read them the bible.

[UrbScotty]

4. Specific chapter and verse suggestions?

Just nothing from the New Testament. Jesus is too lieeral for me.

[proud2BlibKansan]

5. Just start at the beginning

and keep reading until they tell you they won't be gay anymore.

[UrbScotty]

6. They'll TELL me?

I didn't know they talked!

[DBoon]

34. No, read them Rubyfruit Jungle

nt

[Deja Q]

2. Do what that one guy did to his dog upon suspecting homosexuality...

he shot the bugger.

[LostinVA]

3. take them to an ex-gay vet

[UrbScotty]

39. What will that do to solve the problem?

I mean, I didn't know Frist was a vet.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

7. Get two toasters.

[Orsino]

9. Save the money for a video camera. n/t

[UrbScotty]

10. Why would I need that? (nt)

[Deep13]

8. Buy them some comfortable shoes. nt

[vademocrat]

11. Make sure their dog bed is covered in flannel -

[TrogL]

12. Document it - add it to the list

http://members.shaw.ca/trogl/orient.html

[UrbScotty]

46. Will do (nt)

[Heidi]

13. Why would you need to "do" anything?

Let them be who they are. :thumbsup: That's a better scenario than most human lesbians have.

:)

[4 t 4]

14. My dog is a lesbian

she only tries to have sex with female dogs-never males she is really really smart too

[Heidi]

16. Welcome to DU.

Intelligence has nothing to do with sexual preference. :hi:

[RedCloud]

54. Wow, Heidi that was an amazing quote...

Or should I say sentence. Until I get permission to quote.

It works on so many levels.

:hi:

[deadparrot]

15. Kill them.

Kill them now.

[4 t 4]

17. Thanks for the welcome

I know that was a joke

[UrbScotty]

22. Why? I mean, I love them...

...it's just that they love each other too, and being a good Christian, I'm concerned for their safety.

[deadparrot]

24. Because this Senate candidate says so.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2148085

[UrbScotty]

26. But I don't live in Ohio (nt)

[deadparrot]

28. He's running for the US Senate.

He'll be making legislation on the national level. :yoiks:

[seemunkee]

18. Send them to Big Gay Al's animal sanctuary

[noonwitch]

19. My cat is a lesbian, who has a preference for female dogs.

That's all she's ever around when she's in heat.

My 7 year old dog will have none of it. My previous dog, who died 7 years ago, was up for it. They were pretty disgusting about it, too.

[4 t 4]

20. Is your

7 yr old dog really really smart?

[4 t 4]

21. I'm sorry

heidi I couldn't resist

[Fleshdancer]

23. Saint Santorum should be able to offer you valuable advice

I bet there are puppy conversion camps you could take them to. Or maybe they just haven't had a chance to experience a *real* male dog yet. As far as reading the bible to them, I think you would have to bark the verses...you know, dog speak and stuff. However, I find *reading* the bible isn't nearly as effective as taking the bible (the bigger the better!) and beating them with it. There's nothing that a good bible beating can't solve!





:rofl:

[UrbScotty]

25. Well, I'll wait until Rick becomes unemployed in ten months

Meanwhile, thanks for the other tips.

[KamaAina]

30. I'll bet Sick Rick would pay a ton of money for a videotape

of this hot dog-on-dog action :evilgrin:

[no name no slogan]

27. Do they play softball?

If not, don't worry. It's probably just a phase.

[ET Awful]

29. You never know though, they could be playing lacrosse or trying to

join the LPGA :evilgrin:

[shain from kane]

31. Quit beating around the bush and get them some pussy to lick! n/t

[UrbScotty]

32. Some WHAT?

:wow:

[shain from kane]

42. As the Three Stooges would say,

Spelled C-A-T
Pussy

[DBoon]

33. Introduce them to lesbian feminism

raise their consciousness! Encourage them to express their true sisterhood! Help them start a political collective of like-minded canines.

[reyd reid reed]

35. Introduce them to my cats

and they can start a support group.

[UrbScotty]

44. Sure will (nt)

[elshiva]

36. Lesbian dogs are a gift from God. Please respect and love

them, they are your neighbors too.

[UrbScotty]

38. But God hates fag dogs! So says my cat Phelpsy. (nt)

[ChoralScholar]

37. My two female dogs have been humping each other for years.

We're used to it by now. Those crazy bitches. (hehe.. just kidding)

[begin_within]

40. Get some good video of it before they break up.

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. Introduce them to Scientology.

If it worked for Tom Cruise, it will work for them. :thumbsup:

[UrbScotty]

43. Good thought

We'll see.

[GumboYaYa]

45. Find out where they hid the toaster. n/t

[tishaLA]

47. Rubyfruit Jungle

and then there's a built in joke about dogs and nicknames for cats that would seem to go so well here and yet.....and yet....

[meow2u3]

48. Send one of them in for a sex-change operation

so one of them can live out their life as a son of a bitch :evilgrin:

[FVZA_Colonel]

49. Just do what Stan Marsh tried to do when he found out his dog was gay.

Sit them down, and order them not to be homosexual. "Don't be lesbians ___ and ___, don't be lesbians!"

[UrbScotty]

52. Tried that - didn't work (nt)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

50. Get a puppy for them to raise

Then write a sweet children's story book about it.

Watch as the fundies' blood pressure becomes a significant alternative power source.

[UrbScotty]

55. Will do (nt)

[Kurovski]

51. Build a softball field in the yard, serve them organic,

and tell them that you only want them to be happy.

[RedCloud]

53. Get 'em fixed, licketty split!

;-)

[ReadTomPaine]

56. Apply for a faith based DHS grant.

Why not? Everyone else is. Your reason is as good as any other.

[Arugula Latte]

57. Join PFLAGDAC

Parents and Friends of Lesbian and Gay Dogs and Cats

[riona]

58. don't mess with mother nature